Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

"Oops," Jimmy said quietly behind me.

Dawn rounded on him. "What did you do?"

"I may have mentioned that we were coming to visit Jordan," Jimmy mumbled, shifting guiltily.

I crossed my arms over my chest and forced myself not to look away from Brian. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you," he replied. "And I'm not leaving until you listen."

My eyes flicked to the stage a second later as Jacob started a new song. His blue eyes fixed on Brian, he sang "I want to make you suffer, the way you did to me/I just keep falling farther, and I can't seem to breathe/It's not the way that this is supposed to be/And all the pain that you give is gone so easily..."

Brian glared at Jacob while I smiled at the show of support. Jacob blew me a kiss before focusing his attention back on the audience.

"Can we go somewhere private?" Brian queried.

A drumstick suddenly whizzed through the air, barely missing Brian. Jacob glanced back at David, laughing, and I heard Dawn giggle. It took all of my will power to contain my own laughter.

"Jordan?" Brian prompted.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. You have two minutes to convince me you're worth listening to."

Brian led the way out of the club, to the far side of the parking lot. Resting a hip against the side of a sporty black car, he lit a cigarette. I waited, watching him with my arms still tightly across my chest.

"I am fucking miserable without you, J," he said finally, staring at me with an all-too-familiar intensity.

I could see the pain in his dark eyes, but it didn't soften me any. He'd brought this upon himself by being unable to keep his dick in his pants.

"I love you," he said.

"Oh, so that's why you cheated on me. Because you love me. It all makes sense now."

"I want to fix this, Jordan. I will do anything to make it up to you. I am so sorry that I hurt you. I never meant--"

"Don't!" I interrupted. "If you hadn't meant to hurt me, you wouldn't have done it to begin with. Just be honest. You didn't think you'd ever get caught. And if you hadn't been caught, you never would have stopped."

There was a long silence. Brian couldn't deny it without lying again.

"There were three girls," he said softly. "And I only had sex with one of them. The other two were just..."

"Blowjobs?" I spat. "I know how much you like having your dick sucked."

He looked mildly uncomfortable.

"Is that supposed to make it okay? How would you have felt if I'd sucked another guy's dick?"

"I would've been pissed."

I snorted.

"I haven't even looked at another girl since you left," Brian commented.

"News flash, Bri: It's supposed to be the other way around! You don't look at other girls when I'm with you." I shook my head. "Your time is up, and I'm not convinced."

"I don't know why you're giving me such a hard time," Brian muttered as I was turning to walk away. "It's not like you're perfect."

"No, I'm not perfect. But I never cheated on you. I didn't want anyone else. That's why I said yes when you proposed." I paused and flashed Brian a mirthless smile. "Although...you know the night I gave you the ring back? I played with Jimmy right after that. He didn't think I was a problem."

Brian's dark eyes flashed with anger. "You did what?"

"Don't worry. We didn't have sex. That means it doesn't count, right?"

"You didn't know I'd cheated on you that night."

"Nope!" I said lightly. "I didn't. But I knew we were over. I'm your problem, remember? You don't want to tie yourself down to your problem."

"I was drunk when I said that, Jordan. I didn't mean it."

"Drunken words are sober thoughts," I retorted.

"Jordan--"

"No. I'm done." I hurried back across the parking lot, into the club. I wasn't even really aware of where I was going or the fact that I was crying. Therefore, it startled me when I bumped into someone and arms encircled me, crushing me to someone's chest.

"Shh!" a voice soothed. "It's okay."

I snuggled against the tall, thin body. It wasn't until I felt hair tickling my face that I realized it was Jacob holding me. Keeping me in his arms, he shifted us into the hallway that led to the bathrooms, giving us a bit of privacy.

I took several minutes for my sobs to subside. Eventually, though, I raised my face from where it had been buried in Jacob's chest. He met my gaze with a small smile and reached up to wipe away a last tear.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he offered.

I shook my head, sniffling. "No." My voice was hoarse and trembled just a bit.

"Okay." He hugged me tighter. "We can just stand here."

I had to admit I was enjoying the comfort of his arms and was disappointed when Dawn and Matt appeared at the end of the hallway, walking briskly towards Jacob and me.

"Fuck!" Dawn swore the instant she saw my tear-streaked face. She spun on the spot. "I'm gonna kill him!"

Matt body-blocked her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "I can't let you murder our lead guitarist, Dawn. Just calm down."

Dawn slumped with disappointment. "But he made her cry. Again."

"He's an asshole. There's no denying it," Matt said. "But you can't murder him!"

"Can I hurt him, like, really really bad?"

Matt chuckled. "If you don't get too carried away. And you can't break his fingers. We need him to be able to play guitar."

"Are you gonna be alright with them?" Jacob whispered in my ear.

Reluctantly, I nodded and after giving me another squeeze, Jacob finally let me go. He slipped past Matt and Dawn, heading to the main room to socialize with the fans.

"I'm sorry, sweetie," Dawn said, drawing me into her arms. "Jimmy feels awful. He's promised to take a vow of silence if you want him to."

I laughed. I couldn't help it. That was just so...Jimmy.

"C'mon," Dawn urged. "Let's go fix your makeup. You have merch to sell."

*****

A cool breeze caressed my skin. The sounds of the city seemed distant and muted, despite the fact that there were cars passing just on the other side of the hotel. Below, sparkling in the light from the building, was the huge swimming pool with its unnaturally blue water. It was empty at this time of night.

I shifted, sighing contentedly. I was on the balcony, an ice cold cherry Coke in my hand and Jacob at my side. Matt, Jimmy, Dawn, Cody, and David had ventured off at the end of the show, aiming to find some trouble to get into. Dawn and Jimmy both had volunteered to come back to the hotel with me, but I'd assured them I'd be fine. Jacob's company had seemed more appealing--he wouldn't make me talk if I didn't want to.

I snuck a peek at his profile. He really was very attractive, both personality-wise and physically. Liz was a very lucky woman.

He caught me studying him and his blue eyes widened. "What?"

I grinned. "You go straight for the innocent act. You must have a guilty conscience."

He laughed. Stretching, I stifled a yawn. It had to be nearing four a.m. We really needed to go to bed; however, I was too wired to sleep. "Jacob," I said, worried that he was only staying up because he thought I needed him. "If you're tired, go to bed. I'm fine now."

"Darlin', this is my weekend schedule," he returned. "I usually don't get to sleep until about six, then I'm back up at one or two in the afternoon, getting ready for the show that night."

I didn't say anything. That's how life had been with Avenged: up all hours of the night, sleeping all day, wake up late and do it all again.

"Whoa. You are suddenly looking way too serious." Jacob frowned. "Where'd you go?"

"Just remembering the rock star life."

Jacob nodded with understanding and sympathy.

"I fooled around with Jimmy," I said abruptly, not looking at Jacob. "It was the last night I was with them. Brian and I had had a fight and I'd given him his ring back. I was mildly drunk and very stupid and went to Jimmy's room..."

Jacob remained silent.

"I didn't even know about Brian's cheating then," I murmured. "I was just so angry. Brian wasn't treating me the way I deserved to be treated and Jimmy had said the sweetest things to me earlier that same night." Clenching my jaw, I breathed deeply. "We didn't do anything. Not really. But I used that tonight to get back at him."

There was a long pause.

"Jordan," Jacob said gently. "We've all lashed out with words or actions when feeling hurt or angry."

"Yeah, but..." I fidgeted in my chair. "I'm just as bad as Brian. I'd suspected him of cheating, but I had no proof. As far as I knew for certain, he was just being an asshole. And yet, as soon as I got pissed enough, I ran to Jimmy. It doesn't matter that Brian had already been cheating on me; what matters is that I didn't know that and I was going to sleep with his best friend instead of waiting until we both sobered up and talking to him."

I picked at the label on the 20-ounce Coke bottle. "Even so, I can't bring myself to forgive him for what he did. I just don't know how I could ever trust him again."

Jacob reached over and linked his fingers with mine. "I'm not going to comment on the Jimmy thing, but I agree with you about the trust. Rebuilding trust is a very hard thing to do."

"If he'd only cheated on me once, we might could work on it." A few tears spilled down my cheeks. "I still love him. God, I love him so fucking much. And ever since I've been back in Alabama, I was hanging on to a thread of hope. Hope that he would somehow convince me that it wasn't so bad, that we could fix everything. I never really believed it was over. Because I don't want it to be over."

Jacob stood up and pulled me to my feet. Again, he wrapped me in the comfort of his arms. We remained that way for a long time, but it didn't matter. I knew Jacob would be there for whatever length of time I needed him.