Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

My cell buzzed with a message. It was from David. It said "We made it home!" and there was a picture of him in the airport, giving a double thumbs-up. Giggling, I set my cell back on the counter next to the limited supply of makeup I'd brought to Texas.

It was just after seven o'clock. Lynam were back in Alabama; Jimmy, Matt, and Dawn were on their way back to California; and I had a date with my ex-fiancé in an hour. I had never been more nervous about a date than I was now. Brian and I were going to dinner and a movie, but it was so much more than that. Something as simple as this one date could decide our future, whether or not we were going to have a future.

"Pretend it's the beginning again," Dawn had advised before she, Jimmy, and Matt left an hour and a half ago. "Pretend the last six years never happened and see if, as a twenty-three-year-old woman instead of a seventeen-year-old girl, you're still attracted to him."

It was a great piece of advice; however, I wasn't sure how I could follow it. How was I supposed to forget the last six years, all the memories, good and bad? How was I supposed to forget that I'd been engaged to this man and that he'd thrown it all away for a few random thrills?

But maybe that's the problem, I told myself, picking up my eyeliner pencil. Maybe Brian and I were growing apart anyway and that's why he strayed. Dawn was right. We're both older now and we want different things than we did when we were in high school. Maybe we're just so used to being together that we never realized we don't want to be together anymore.

The thought made me mildly nauseous, but it was a distinct possibility. Couples grew apart all the time. The smart ones separated before it all came crashing down; the ones scared of change clung to each other until it all fell apart. Brian and I seemed to be members of the second category.

I finished with the eyeliner and brushed on shimmering white eyeshadow. After generously applying pale pink lipgloss, I debated what to do with my hair. Brian had always liked me to leave it loose so that he could play with it.

I briefly closed my eyes, shivering at the remembered sensation of his fingers running through the shoulder-length strands. Shaking my head to clear it of the recollection, I quickly secured my hair in a ponytail with two strands framing my face.

I grabbed my cell and padded into the main room. My outfit was already laid out on the bed that had been Jacob's. I changed, then checked my appearance in the bathroom mirror. My cell showed that it was 7:32 p.m.

I sat on my bed and turned on the television. I watched a show for a while without any of it sinking in. My mind was on the date.

There was a knock on the door at exactly eight o'clock. Heart pounding, I answered it. Brian flashed a small smile. He looked amazing in his artfully torn jeans and sleeveless crimson shirt. Three belts encircled his waist. A hint of eyeliner made his dark brown eyes look black.

"Hi," I said softly.

"Hi," he echoed in an equally low voice. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah. Just let me get my purse." I stuck my cell and keycard in my purse and rejoined him in the doorway.

As we walked to the elevator, Brian gave me a sidelong glance. "You look beautiful, Jordan."

I blushed. "Thanks. So do you." Jesus. What is wrong with me? I'm acting like a teenager on her first date!

That's a good thing, I reminded myself. It's like the days when we first met, before all the drama.

We reached the lobby and Brian opened the door for me. He led me to the rental he'd acquired once we'd decided to stay in Texas, something black and sporty. I sank into the leather seat and tried to calm my racing pulse while Brian rounded the car to climb in on the driver side.

The ride to the restaurant was silent. Brian stopped me as I was opening my door.

"Jordan."

"What?"

"I know this is weird, but...try and have a good time?"

"I want to, Bri, I really do. It's just hard." I grabbed his hand as he started to turn away. "Bri, please. I'm trying. I can't simply forget what happened, but I promise, I want this chance."

He didn't look at me for several seconds. Then, he again faced me and slowly, very slowly, leaned over to press his lips gently to mine.

Ever since I'd found out about Brian's infidelities and left him, I'd imagined how it would feel to be touched or kissed by him in the aftermath. Could it ever be like it used to be? Would I ever react to him without disgust?

Here, now, in the car being kissed by him, it was clear to me that I didn't view him as disgusting.

I kissed him back. He raised one hand to my face, cupping my cheek. I kept my hand in his and savored the moment.

Brian finally drew away. "Are you hungry?"

I laughed. "Yeah."

We both got out of the car. Headed for the door, Brian reluctantly reached for my hand. I let him take it, linking my fingers with his.

Maybe we're not a lost cause.

*****

Three days later, Brian and I were roaming around the mall, people-watching more than shopping. Things between us were good. No, great! We were talking more fully and freely than we had in a long time, yet we still hadn't addressed the topic of his betrayal. I knew that, eventually, we would have to discuss it. However, I couldn't bring myself to start that conversation. I didn't want to ruin whatever it was that was happening with us. At the very least, we were friends again.

"Jordan?"

I looked up. Brian was studying me with a slight grin on his face.

"You were looking awfully serious," he commented. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me, J. I know you too well. Something's bothering you. What's wrong?"

I sighed. "We need to talk."

Brian tugged me to a nearby bench, right next to the fountain, where we were unlikely to be overheard.

"We can't pretend it didn't happen," I said.

Brian nodded.

"The last three days have been amazing, and it's made me realize that...this isn't over."

"I feel the same way."

"But." I took a deep breath. I had to say it. "There's still a lot of work to be done. On the surface, everything's fine. But this is like poison. It will spoil anything we manage to rebuild unless we extract it."

"You're right, Jordan. About all of it. Listen." He waited until she met his eyes to continue. "I'm not perfect. I fucked up. I regret it every day. I wasn't lying to you when I said I would do anything to fix this. I love you and I want things to be the way they were."

"I love you, too, Bri. I wish that was all it took to fix us."

There was a silence, broken only by the splashing of the fountain and the occasional voice of a shopper.

"It'll be for the best if you come back to California," Brian stated after a long pause.

I fidgeted uncomfortably. It was true, but I really didn't want to return immediately. Not while things were still rocky and could still go either way.

"There's not much we can do if we're three thousand miles away from each other, J."

"I know."

"So say you'll come back. Say you'll come home."

"I can't."

"Why?"

I wanted to cry. "Being back there without you..."

"Without me?"

"You know what I mean, Bri. My entire life in Cali centered around you. What am I supposed to do out there as Jordan Andrews, not the future Mrs. Haner?"

"You weren't the future Mrs. Haner when you moved. You were just my girlfriend."

"But I was yours, Bri! My identity was formed based on you. Now, I have a life and an identity in Alabama and...I'm scared to leave that."

Brian's dark eyes flashed with a hint of anger. "So you're not willing to come back and fix our relationship?"

"I don't know. I can't make that decision right this second, okay?"

Brian let out a sound that was a mixture of disbelief and disgust. "I really don't believe you, J."

"Right. I'm the one being unreasonable," I said sarcastically.

Brian exhaled loudly. "Okay. Sorry. Take all the time you need. I don't want you to feel like you're making a mistake."

I suddenly wanted to do anything to reassure him. Curving a hand along the back of his neck, I kissed him firmly. "I love you, Brian, and I want to save this. I want to save us. I have to go back to Alabama for a while anyway. Just...give me a couple of days."