Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

Jacob stood up, allowing me to slide into the booth. He sat back down, beside me and facing Cody and David. Just as it had always been when we ate at the Mellow Mushroom. It felt so normal, as though nothing had changed or ever would. But that wasn't right. Everything had changed. And it hit me: this could be the last time Lynam and I met for lunch here.

I'd returned from Texas two days ago and hadn't spoken to anyone in the last forty-eight hours. There was just too much on my mind, so much to think about and consider. Hope and longing were occasionally overshadowed by fear and doubt; love eclipsed by pain, distrust, and lies. It was a mess. I'd believed I could handle it on my own, but I couldn't. So I'd called the three men who had been my best friends, my pillars of strength, for the last four months.

"We already ordered," Cody told me. "The usual."

Cody, David, and I always shared a pizza with pepperoni, canadian bacon, and jalapeno peppers. Jacob got his own special order since he was a vegetarian.

I looked around the dimly-lit restaurant. It wasn't crowded. The patrons were all relaxed and smiling, enjoying the calm atmosphere. It was the exact opposite of the restaurant where Avenged Sevenfold, the Berry twins, and I had spent my birthday. The restaurant where Brian had proposed. That night seemed so long ago now.

"Jordan?"

David, Jacob, and Cody were all watching me.

I managed a smile. "Sorry. I spaced."

"We noticed," David remarked.

"What's up?" Cody queried.

Only Jacob didn't speak. He was studying me so intently that I felt as though he was reading my thoughts as I was having them.

"It's weird to think that this might be my last time here with you guys," I said, avoiding Jacob's eyes.

David's expression was carefully neutral. "You're going back to Cali?"

"Maybe. Probably." I picked up a napkin and began tearing it into strips. "Brian and I want to work things out. We can't do that if I'm three thousand miles away."

"Well, if it's what you really want," David said. "But this isn't the last time you'll be here with us. You'll visit."

I smiled at his show of support. Jacob, on the other hand, shot David a dirty look and muttered "Yeah, right."

Cody and I exchanged a glance, Cody lifting his shoulder in a small shrug.

"You don't think she'll visit?" David asked Jacob.

"No, I don't."

"I won't for a while," I admitted. "Brian and I will be too busy repairing the damage."

"That he caused by being an unfaithful bastard," Jacob said.

"He cheated on you!?" Cody exclaimed loudly.

David looked at me. I nodded.

"Three times," Jacob added.

"THANK YOU, BAD NEWS BEAR!" I snapped, giving him the glare he deserved.

Jacob glared back, unrepentant. "I just don't think it's fair for them to support your decision when they don't have all the facts."

"Would you like to share any more of my business?"

Jacob met my eyes and I knew he was remembering me spilling my guts on the balcony, revealing that I'd almost slept with Jimmy.

"No," he said after a long pause.

"If Brian cheated on you three times, I'm not sure it's worth fixing, baby," Cody said as Jacob slumped down with his arms crossed over his chest, sulking.

"He let his fame go to his head," I said.

Jacob opened his mouth, but I silenced him with another acidic glare.

"He swears he's sorry and that he loves me and that he'll do anything to get me back." I bit my lip, then raised my chin defiantly. "I believe him."

David's face remained impassive. "And if he does it again?"

The idea was horrible to contemplate, yet it was something I'd been dwelling on endlessly. "I'll never go back," I replied.

Two waitresses appeared then with our orders. Jacob attacked his food in a manner that suggested it had done him a personal wrong. David and Cody changed the subject from Brian and me; however, Jacob didn't join in the conversation.

Once the meal was done, Jacob gave me a brief, one-armed hug and strode from the restaurant. Cody hugged me and went after him, leaving David and me alone.

"Give him time," David said, drawing me into his arms and stroking my hair. "He's just frustrated. He thinks you're making a mistake."

"Really? Is that what he thinks?" I drawled sarcastically. "I couldn't tell."

"He has a point."

"I know he does. But I love Brian. I have to give us another chance."

"Okay." David pulled back and looked me full in the face. "Promise me one thing."

"What?"

"That you will visit."

"Of course I will."

"Often."

"Very often."

"Once a week. No, wait. Every other day."

"David--"

"Better yet, every day. Just don't leave."

I laughed and shoved him playfully. He grinned. Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, he guided me to the door. "We love you, Jordan."

"I love y'all, too, David."

*****

I was sitting on the sofa in my apartment, half of my attention on the television, on which Aladdin was playing, and half of my attention on my cell, where I was having a conversation with Dawn via text messages.

My cell buzzed with yet another text from Dawn: "So Zacky and Avery are officially an item."

"I barely spoke to her the night we met. Is she nice?"

"She's sweet. Perfect for him. It's kinda creepy, though. She's so much like Jimmy. ZV had his perfect man right there the whole time. Ha ha!"

"Nice. lmao! Now if we can just find girls for the two biggest pervs in the band."

"Johnny has been on his phone a lot lately and no one seems to know who he's talking to. Matt thinks it must be a girl. He just doesn't want to tell us because he knows the other guys will give him hell."

Just then, there was a knock on the door of my apartment. "Just a minute!" I called, quickly typing a response for Dawn: "The other guys would give him hell. It's what they do best. Someone is here, so I'll have to talk to you later. Love you."

Tossing my cell onto the coffee table, I walked to the door and pulled it open. Jacob stood there with a solemn expression on his face.

I sighed. "If you're here to talk about my decision, I don't want to hear it. I can't do this again."

He ambled over the threshold and barely containing another sigh, I closed the door. "Jacob," I said, following him toward the living room. "I know you're upset, but--" I broke off when he stopped. He turned around and reached for me, catching my wrists before I could even react.

Surprised, I looked up, meeting his flawless blue eyes. He backed me into the wall.

"This is okay?" he said softly.

"I know what you're doing, Jacob."

He tugged my arms around his waist, then reached up and cupped my face in his hands. "What am I doing?"

"Trying to prove just how wrong Brian was."

"Well?" Jacob leaned down until I could feel his breath on my lips. "What would you think of me if I took this further?"

"You wouldn't. You're married."

"We've been together eight years. We've only been married six years. Isn't that how long you and Bri have been together?"

"Yes."

"And he loves you, right? Like I love her."

I didn't say anything.

"Would I deserve her love and devotion if I did something as harmless as kissing you? What about touching you, or asking you to touch me? I could get you on your knees and assure you that there would be nothing wrong with you giving me head."

"Jacob--"

"Or maybe I could forget about her entirely and take you to the nearest flat surface and fuck you."

"Okay!" I practically shouted, pushing him away. "Okay!"

"How far is too far, Jordan? When does he stop deserving your forgiveness?"

I hugged myself. "It's not that black and white, Jacob. I thought it was, but it's not. I know he was wrong and I know he took it too far, using lame excuses to explain his actions. I also know that I love him and he loves me."

"Fine." Jacob threw up his hands in defeat. "Go back to California and get back with Brian and when he does the same thing again--"

"He won't!" I cut in. "He fucked up, that's all. He's learned from his mistakes."

"Maybe." Jacob looked at me. "But do you know what I remember? I remember holding you while you cried, completely heartbroken because his words weren't good enough, because you knew you could never trust him again and because he made you feel like you weren't enough for him."

"Jacob." I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him, resting my cheek against his chest. "I appreciate your concern, but you're not going to change my mind."

He hesitated, then his arms encircled me. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Jacob." I looked up at him again, this time smiling. "Promise me this is the last time we're going to have this conversation."

Jacob nodded. "I promise. I don't have any other arguments to use against you going back to California and Brian. I'm guessing you are going back? You're not still debating it?"

"Yeah," I replied. "I'm going back. I'm going back to the life I'm supposed to have."