Back to Square One

Bachelor’s party. That’s today. I was in the hotel room since I doubted any of the guys wanted me there. I knew they all wanted to kill me and I’m surprised that none of them came barging into the room yet, taking Hazelyn as far away from me as possible.

It was at around 9 at night that I heard a knock on the door. I answered it, seeing that it was Tristan long with Kyle, Luke and Scotty. “Why are you not ready?” Tristan asked.

I shrugged, and walked back inside, leaving the door open for them. They came in and Kyle closed the door behind him. “I know you guys don’t want me there, so go have fun,” I said sitting on the couch and acting cool.

“Please, you’re the brother of the bride. Even if we don’t want you to be there, you have to be,” Luke shrugged.

“Luke!” Scotty scolded.

“Just kidding,” Luke smiled. “Come on bro, we need our guy time!”

“Maybe score some chicks,” Kyle spoke up.

“I don’t think Jay would need that if he has Megan Fox on his tail,” Scotty smirked.

“We broke up,” I said lamely.

“About time motherfucker,” Kyle snorted. “She realized you’re not good enough?” he smirked.

“Please, she screams my name like there’s no tomorrow. I broke up with her,” I boasted playfully.

“Too much info bro. But what?” Tristan let out a grossed out scoff.

I shrugged. “She’s not good enough,” I said, telling them the truth. They all stayed quiet and looked around the room nervously.

“Wow bro. If you’re gonna lie to us, you should hide the evidence,” Scotty smirked, holding up a bra. A red, lacy bra. I was about to ask where he got it from but all I had to do was look down, and it happened to have come from the open drawer at his feet.

“Put that down,” Tristan said gruffly.

“What’s got your panties in a bunch man? You need new ones?” Scotty joked, holding up the matching ones but Tristan didn’t laugh. “Right, not funny,” Scotty frowned and examined the panties.

“Put it down,” Tristan ordered again.

“Okay, sheesh. Somebody’s PMSing,” Scotty frowned, putting them back down and closing the drawer. “So, who’s the lucky lady here tonight?” he asked playfully.

“You don’t wanna know,” I squirmed.

“Come on, do we know her?” Kyle pushed.

“Are you guys serious? You don’t know?” I asked looking at Tristan, who gave me a small smirk and awkwardly giving me a coy smile.

“We do know her,” Scotty concluded with his goofy grin.

“Hazelyn,” I mumbled.

“You’re dreaming,” Kyle said to me. I think it was supposed to come out as a mock but it was hesitant.

I shrugged. “She is, she’s out with the girls right now,” I said.

“So, Hazelyn’s here with you?” Kyle asked cautiously. I nodded nonchalantly. “And the girls didn’t inform us?” he frowned, then his eyes snapped towards me. “Wait, she hasn’t murdered you yet?”

“She gets too tired to at night, and she just crashes before she has the chance,” I said jokingly but came out wrong, making the guys stare me down. “Not that way!” I defended.

“Better not, Dolciani,” Tristan glared at me. “Now get dressed so we can get this night started,” he said throwing a pillow at me.

We were at one of the clubs, looking as sharp as can be. The French girls looking at us from left to right snf some Americans here and there. I was grabbing a drink with Tristan when my phone rang. I looked at it and it was from an unknown number. [n]Keep an eye on T. You can take the room after the wedding for whatever purposes, just keep an eye on my brother, it had said. Hazelyn.

I didn’t feel like drinking for once and just got a beer. The night flew by. The guys were wasted and I was sober – and for once, I didn’t mind. I checked if I had a fever or something but I knew that I wasn’t sick. It’s just that I didn’t need it anymore. Hazelyn was back in my life. Even thought we weren’t necessarily in good terms.

At around 2 am, we decided to go back to the hotel. The guys were smashed. Fuck that! They were beyond smashed! Scotty almost kissed Kyle, until he realized that he wasn’t pretty enough for him. He left first, taking a French chick with him. Kyle then left since Samantha was back in their room already. (I didn’t wanna know what they were going to do) I went home with Tristan, whom seemed awfully calm.

“You,” he pointed at me. Well, he was so drunk that I couldn’t tell if he was really trying to point at me because he was swaying. “My sister. I trust in your hands,” he started slurring. “This is your last fucking chance Dolciani. And this is because your sister begged me for a year and a half to give you another chance. I know you love my sister and even if she doesn’t say anything, I think she still feels the same way about you still. So if you mess this up, consider yourself a dead man,” he said before walking into their hotel room. Stephanie was going to throw a fit.

I walked into my own room and stripped out of my clothes, throwing a shirt on before climbing onto the bed. The spot next to mine held Hazelyn’s scent. I savored it and thought about how funny it was that even after all these years, we still slept on our own sides of the bed. It was as if it was meant to be. I then started to imagine what could’ve been and fell asleep that way.

I was woken up less than an hour later when I heard a loud crash and giggling. I heard a grunt and more giggles, which had me on red alert. I looked around the room and went out into the living room to find the culprit. I saw Hazelyn and a guy making out against the door. He started kissing her and moaning while she just giggled. Rage started to boil up inside me as I tore him off her, and threw punches before I pushed him out the door, into the hallway.

“What the hell?” she whined.

I stepped closer to her and sniffed. Alcohol. She has no idea what she’s doing when she’s drunk. “Are you fucking with me Hazelyn?” I mumbled.

“No. But I think I’m gonna have to since you kicked that guy out,” she giggled.

“Get dressed,” I ordered her.

“What? So you can watch me? Okay!” she chuckled as she threw her clothes off and got dressed for bed. I rolled my eyes at her and went into the room. She jumped on it and I could smell the alcohol on her breath.

“Sleep,” I mumbled, and she just grunted and before I knew it, she was fast asleep. Never, would a guy get away with touching Hazelyn like that. NO fucking way.



I woke up the next morning and made pancakes. I laid it out on the table along with water and pain relievers since I knew Hazelyn gets killer hangovers.

She walked out of the room, her hair disheveled - which actually looked like sex hair - and sat on the table. “Eat,” I told her and she just nodded, taking small bites at it.

I sat in front of her, downing my own stack of pancakes. “What happened last night?” she asked hesitantly.

“You were drunk,” I mumbled.

“And you knew how?” she raised an eyebrow at me.

“You came home last night with a guy,” I told her with a glare.

Her eyes widened. “What? Who?”

I shrugged. “Don’t know. You probably didn’t either,” I sneered.

“Did anything happen?” she whispered, ignoring my statement.

““With him? No,” I told her, knowing that if I told her I beat the fuck out of him and threw him out, she’d start being a bitch about it. I looked at her and her relieved expression. “I forgot that you go boy crazy when you’re drunk,” I sighed as I pretended that my neck hurt. “You didn’t even let me get even a blink of sleep,” I mumbled. Her eyes widened as I held back my laughter. She didn’t say anything though, probably because of the shock. “And you’re one loud drunk,” I shook my head. “You didn’t even improve through the years. You’re still a bad drunk,” I chuckled.

She looked down and we both began eating in silence. I couldn’t take the silence, so I tried something else. “When did you start being a slut?” I asked her, attempting to provoke her so we could have a conversation, even if it wasn’t decent. She looked awfully adorable when she’s mad.

A look of hurt flashed across her face, and by the look she was going to spit back a defense, but she composed herself and looked at me. “Time passes by… People change,” she said before standing up and taking a shower.

I hoped it changed the way I loved her.



That night, I was just at the hotel blasting music through the speakers and playing the guitar. Everyone had their plans but me. I looked down at the papers in front of me – the new song I’ve been writing. I decided that I should try playing it from the top.

Can’t stop the pain I’m feeling
You left a wound that won’t heal,
No I can’t lie.
You were the one that I trusted.
Last one that I ever thought,
That would cut me like a knife.

And how could you tell me you love me,
When you don’t even know what love means,
And can’t you see?
You’re killing me.

Sticks and Stones,
Could never hurt me like you did, you know?
You ripped my heart out of my chest,
So wrong.
I ran and fell into the kiss,
Harder than a wall of bricks
Sticks and stones
Could never hurt me like you did,
Sticks and stones,
Could never leave a scar like this.

Think of all the days that I waited,
I think of the days I waited up by the phone.
You used to cry on my shoulder,
Now the only tears that are falling are my own

And how could you tell me you love me,
When you don’t even know what love means,
And can’t you see?
You’re killing me.

Sticks and Stones,
Could never hurt me like you did, you know?
You ripped my heart out of my chest,
So wrong.
I ran and fell into the kiss,
Harder than a wall of bricks
Sticks and stones
Could never hurt me like you did,
Sticks and stones,
Could never leave a scar like this.

Sticks and stones baby,
Sticks and stones baby,
Sticks and stones baby,
And how could you tell me you love me,
When you don’t even know, you don’t even know

Sticks and Stones,
Could never hurt me like you did, you know?
You ripped my heart out of my chest,
So wrong.
I ran and fell into the kiss,
Harder than a wall of bricks
Sticks and stones
Could never hurt me like you did,
Sticks and stones,
Could never leave a scar like this.

I finished the song and a tear ran down my cheek. Music helped me through the past few years. It had been a huge part of keeping myself semi-sane. I started plucking at the familiar strings as I sang out the words to a song by my favorite band.

I walk the tight rope
on my way home
you're my backbone
I know you're somewhere close behind me

i walk the fault line in a dirty field
in the spring time
i feel the wind start to remind me

of you (you)
and the sweet talk
on the sidewalk
it's true (true)
all know is

all we have is what's left today
hearts so pure in this broken place

cause we are, we are, we are
who we are, we are, we are
lovers lost in space
we're searching for our saving grace

and i still remember
how your lips taste
on holidays
you leave in december
what can i do to make you stay?

cause we won't fade away
we'll find peace while other change
and i know you're somewhere close behind me

and its true (true)
oh, the sweet sound in the background
it's you (you)
all i know is

all we have is what's left today
hearts so pure in this broken place

cause we are, we are, we are
who we are, we are, we are
lovers lost in space
we're searching for our saving grace
[x2]

I looked up, and I was startled at the sight. Hazelyn stood there, gaping at me- her jaw practically on the floor before rushing out of the room. I just sighed, putting my guitar back in it’s case as I made my way to the bed. It wasn’t much of a surprise that we didn’t argue about sharing a bed because I guess - it wouldn’t be very reasonable - since we both own the place and we’ve shared a bed before. More than once, even.

Half an hour to 9 p.m - I heard the door open and close - followed by footsteps and I immediately knew who it was. I heard the shower go off and before I knew it, I heard her footsteps come closer.

“You’re home early,” I said flipping through the channels, not even giving her a glance.

“Oh, uhh, yeah,” she laughed nervously, and stiffly taking the spot on the other side of the bed. “The weather isn’t well,” she continued.

“You don’t have to be at the very edge. I don’t bite,” I shrugged. “At least not hard,” I smirked and glanced at her. She rolled her eyes at me and made herself comfortable. “So, the weather? Since when did you let it stop you from having fun?” I chuckled.

“It’s uhh,” I knew she was hesitating, but I heard the rumble of thunder from outside and she closed her eyes tightly. “Thunderstorm,” she squeaked.

I didn’t know what to do. Was I supposed to comfort her? Would she slap me if I cross the invisible boundary that was drawn between us? Would she start calling me a man-whore and hate me more? I didn’t know, but as soon as it got louder and I saw a flash of lightning, I immediately grabbed her and put my arms around her. She was whimpering like a lost dog - it was cute - but I was worried.

She gripped onto my shirt and I just held onto her. “It’s okay Haze, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere,” I said to her, and kept whispering soothing things to her.

“Sing for me,” she whispered.

I nodded and thought of something to sing. There was the perfect song.

There’s no guarantee that this will be easy
It’s not a miracle you need,
Believe me.

I’m no angel, I’m just me,
But I will love you Endlessly.

After awhile, her grip loosened and she fell asleep. She nuzzled her head on my chest, making me sigh in contentment and fell asleep too.