Love Only Knows

GARRETT POV

I stared at her shaking form in the early morning light that shone through the windows of the van. She wanted to know why I had ruined everything a year ago, and it was true, I had. I hated myself for it.

A year ago I was happy with the love of my life, Evelyn. We had just arrived home from our tour with All Time Low. I had just stepped out of the shower when my doorbell rang. I went downstairs to answer since I was home alone. Isabel stood there when I opened the door. She was my first love before I met Evelyn. We dated for two years and she had cheated on me, so I left her. I was crushed. A month later, I met Evelyn. No one had ever made me feel the way she did. I never stopped smiling with her. I never stopped thinking about Isabel, though.

Isabel apologized and I took her back instantly. I went to Evelyn’s house that night and told her I couldn’t be with her anymore. She was crushed and asked to never see her again. The look on her face killed me. As I lay in bed that night, I put it all together. I wasn’t in love with Isabel. I loved Evelyn. I had fallen for her. I called things off with Isabel and asked her to disappear from my life. I went to Evelyn’s house to apologize, but when I stood outside, I watched her cry in her room from outside of her window, speaking to herself about hating me. I left like a coward, losing her forever.

She had fallen asleep in an awkward sitting position. I lay her head on my lap. I never truly stopped loving her. I had been a dick to try to forget her like she had forgotten me, but it never worked out. All I thought about for a whole year was her.

We had set out after a long first day of Warped Tour. My band climbed in the van, confused on why Evelyn was asleep with me. I explained and they just stared at me, still confused. I never told them how I still cared so much about her, but I could tell they knew. The Summer Set came looking for her, but no one had the heart to wake her up.

“She looks way too peaceful.” Josh said. “She hasn’t slept like this for a long time.”

“I don’t have the heart to wake her up.” Stephen added and everyone else agreed. So they left her to go to the next state with us, which was 32 hours away. She would kill her band, and us. Maybe she would just kill me and spare everyone else. I would understand if she did.

I had fallen asleep as Jared drove the van into the highway that night, and I woke up at eight in the morning with Evelyn still asleep on my lap. She didn’t stir until nine and opened her eyes to look at me confused.

“What?” I asked as she just stared at me.

“They left me behind with you guys didn’t they?” She asked.

“No one had the heart to wake you up.” I shrugged.

“My head is fucking killing me.” She groaned. I guessed she hadn’t realized she was lying on my lap because she didn’t make an effort to move. She did realize then and sat up, blushing. “Why the hell would you lie me down on your lap?”

“You fell asleep sitting up. I was just trying to help.” I shrugged.

“You really enjoy pissing me off, don’t you?” She asked, mad now. I hated making her mad, but she obviously hated me now.

“Evelyn, just jump over here.” I heard Kennedy say from the front of the van. I watched as Evelyn jumped over the seats to where Kennedy sat.

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EVELYN POV

I jumped over to the middle seat where Kennedy sat with Vito. Kennedy wrapped his arms around me as I sobbed. He stroke my back whispering that it would be alright.

I knew Kennedy had feelings for me, but I always just saw him as my best friend. I wished I could return his feelings. He was such a great guy and he had always been there for me. I was willing to try. Willing to love him how he loved me.

I cuddled my face against the crook of his neck. His cologne sent shivers down my spine. I kissed his neck and I heard him chuckle.

“How’s the hangover?” Vito asked. Everyone was already awake thanks to me yelling at Garrett. I felt horrible about ruining their sleep.

“My head feels as if it’s going to blow up.” I answered.

“Do you feel nauseous?” Pat asked. I had accidentally stepped on him in my attempt to jump over to Kennedy.

“Just a bit.” I hadn’t even realized that I felt like puking until he mentioned it.

“I’m stopping in the next rest stop so we can have some breakfast and switch drivers.” Jared announced. “We can get her a ginger ale.”

Jared stopped the van ten minutes later and everyone climbed out. I intertwined my fingers with Kennedy’s as we walked inside the small building. We bought a few necessities before looking for breakfast. We settled for some Burger King breakfast. Kennedy insisted on treating me, but I assured him that if I ate, I would puke it back out. He still bought me something just in case.

I happened to glance up and my eyes locked with Garrett’s. His shocking blue eyes were filled with guilt, regret, and hurt. My stomach flipped. I slapped my hand over my mouth and ran to the bathroom. I made it in time and threw up in one of the stalls. I flushed the toilet and sighed, leaning back against the wall.

What the hell was wrong with me? He had hurt me, so why would I care if he was hurt? I should hate him. I knew I couldn’t, though. I tried so hard to forget about him and move on, but it never worked. I thought he was the one a year ago, but I had been wrong. He had made it seem as if he loved me, but he chose someone else over me.

God, I felt like shit.

“Evelyn?” I heard Kennedy from outside of the bathroom. “Is there anyone else in the bathroom?”

“No.” I answered. I heard the door open, followed by footsteps. Kennedy’s worried figure appeared in the door of the stall. He kneeled down next to me and stroke my hair.

“You okay?” He asked.

“This is the worst hangover ever.” I answered and he helped me stand up. I cleaned my mouth with Listerine as Kennedy softly stroke my back. I washed my face with cold water and picked up my long hair into a messy bun.

“Better?” He asked when I turned to him.

“I think so.” I answered.

We stepped out of the bathroom and made our way back to the small Burger King. The rest of the guys were sitting eating breakfast as Kennedy and I joined them.

“Hey, are you okay?” John asked.

“Yeah, I feel a bit better.” I smiled.

“Drink this.” Max said with food in his mouth and handed me a bottle of ginger ale. I thanked him and took a sip of the drink. I wasn’t a fan of it, but it would help me feel better.

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STEPHEN POV

“She’s going to kill us, man. Pull each little hair from our heads.” I said. Why had we left Evelyn behind with the guys from The Maine? Especially Garrett? He was the reason for her depression and extreme change. Why would he even think to do what he did to such a great person?

Oh, man. She was going to kill us.

“Calm down, Stephen. She’ll probably just ignore Garrett and stick with the others.” Jess assured me.

“I hope I’m last. I’m going to make sure I say a proper goodbye to Godsey.” I gulped.

“Can you shut up? She’ll probably just be mad for a few minutes.” John said from the driver’s seat.

“I’ll miss you, bro.” I teased and he swerved the van on purpose so my head hit the wall of the van. “Asshole.” I groaned rubbing my head.

“We should at least call her.” Jess said, dialing her phone.

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EVELYN POV

My phone vibrated as Jess’ contact information appeared on the screen. I answered it on the third ring.

“Great, you’re still alive. Have you killed anyone yet?” She asked.

“Not yet.” I answered. “Taking bets?”

“Stephen’s afraid that you might kill us.” She chuckled. “He’s ready to call Godsey and say a proper goodbye.”

“I swear they’re gay for each other.” I chuckled.

“Well, we’ll see you and the guys in one piece in D.C.” She said before we hung up.

“Jess?” Kennedy asked.

“Yeah, Stephen was worried that I was going to kill them.” I answered and the guys laughed.

When everyone finished with breakfast, we went back to the van. Kennedy climbed into the driver’s seat and I took the passenger’s seat to keep him company. Everyone else fell asleep.

“How do you feel?” Kennedy asked when I took a sip of the ginger ale.

“Better than this morning.” I assured him.

I watched cars pass us by through my sunglasses. The day was bright without a single cloud in sight. We were still hours away from our destination and I couldn’t wait to be reunited with my band again. I missed Stephen and John arguing for the passenger’s seat or what music to play. I missed Brian and Josh arguing for whose directions were correct. I missed Cameron’s pissy moods and Dylan’s man whore ways. I missed the all too familiar stench of our van and Jess’ loud snores. I swore the guys were girlier than she was. I chuckled at the flashbacks.

“What’s so funny?” Kennedy asked.

“Thinking about my band.” I answered, looking over at him.

“We used to be your band.” He reminded me and I smiled at the memories. The fun nights we had. I did love those memories. I was happy. Happy with Garrett. Kennedy twined his fingers through my hand, snapping me back into reality. I stared down at our hands on my lap and he seemed stiff, worried if he was crossing the line. I stoke the back of his hand with my thumb and he eased to my touch.

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GARRETT POV

I watched from behind the passenger’s seat as Kennedy twined his fingers through Evelyn’s. A wave of anger rushed through me. I knew he loved her, but he knew I did as well. This was a tough situation. I didn’t want to lose Kennedy’s friendship over Evelyn’s heart. I was at a lost on what to do. I knew that when we arrived to D.C., she would leave with her band and avoid me as much as possible. I would never have another chance to talk to her. She was done with me and she wanted to forget I existed. I had to forget her.

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EVELYN POV

We finally arrived to D.C. after such a long drive of John and Pat complaining about how much their butts hurt. I wanted to buy a cigarette in one of the rest stops, but the guys didn’t let me. I understood they hated the fact of me smoking, but I blamed Stephen and John. I had slept over one night, and they sat on top of me and stuck a cigarette in my mouth since I couldn’t stop crying, and it worked. It seemed to calm me down. I didn’t smoke very often, though. A puff or two a day.

I spotted my band’s van and ran over. I jumped on Josh’s shoulders happily. I was so glad to see them again.

“You’re not going to kill us?” Stephen asked, hiding behind John.

“Nope.” I smiled, jumping off of Josh’s shoulders. Stephen sighed and stood straight.

“Did you have any problems?” Jess asked.

“No, I stood by Kennedy and the others. I did feel horrible from a hangover, but they took care of me.” I assured her.

“Good.” She smiled.

I finally had the chance to change into clean clothes. I unfortunately didn’t have my luggage with me while I rode with The Maine, so I didn’t get the chance to change. We did get to shower in the amphitheater’s performers’ showers, though. I sighed as the familiar smell of my shampoo filled my senses. I changed into a clear pair of high waisted shorts over a purple tank top and my combat boots. I put my things back in the trailer of our van and brushed my wet hair.

My band was playing after The Maine this time. They had a signing at 2 and they took the Glamour Kills stage at 4. I went to the merch tent to make sure Dylan wasn’t whoring around with groupies and letting people steal the merch. He was actually doing his job.

“I don’t fool around when it comes to my job.” Dylan grinned.

“Right.” I patted his shoulder. Garrett was in his band’s tent with Pat taking pictures with a few fans.

“Evelyn!” I heard a familiar voice call. I turned around to see Vic making his way over to me. “I’m so sorry about the other night.”

“It’s okay. We were both drunk.” I assured him.

“No hard feelings?” He asked.

“Nope, still great buds.” I smiled. He gave me a tight hug before running back to the AP stage since they were performing soon. I caught Garrett staring after him with an angry expression. I ignored it.

I watched The Maine perform and Kennedy would make funny faces my way as he played. When they finished, he ran to me and threw me over his shoulder. He kept running until we were by my band’s van.

“Where are you taking me?” I chuckled and he finally set me down.

“Tomorrow we have the day off. Let me take you out to dinner.” He smiled. I stared into his warm hazel eyes. This was such a hard decision. Go on a date with my best friend and risk our friendship or let him down nicely. I did want to love him as he loved me. I wanted to give us a try as much as he did.

“Alright.” I smiled. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead. We walked back to the stage so we could each help our bands pick up and set up. “Where the fuck is John?”

“He was with us in the signing.” Brian shrugged.

“I called him and he doesn’t answer.” Stephen said. I slapped my hand on my forehead.

“It’s only the second show into Warped Tour. What the fuck is he thinking?” Jess groaned.

“Cameron can take his spot like always.” Josh said.

“Yeah, but it’s only the second day of tour. What’s wrong with him?” I answered.

Two minutes before my band took the stage, John showed up. I smacked the back of his head and Cameron handed him his guitar. He stuck out his tongue at me as they stepped into the stage and cheers erupted. I sunk down against the wall.

“You never had this issue with us.” I heard Garrett say. I opened my eyes to see him leaning against a speaker box a few feet away from me.

“You guys are used to touring. They’re new at this.” I answered.

“Still, we never gave you a problem.” He shrugged.

“And why the fuck are you here telling me this?” I asked.

“Come on, baby. You used to hate cursing. You even threw your shoe at John once for cursing so much on stage.” He grinned.

“Again; why are you here telling me this?” I repeated.

“I’m just wondering if you’re happy with them. You don’t seem like it.” He answered.

“Since when do you care? I haven’t been happy since your obnoxious and arrogant self broke my heart.” I stated, standing up. “So why don’t you just go?”

“Alright, baby. Just trying to help.” He shrugged and turned away. “By the way, I always have.”

He always had what? Cared? Why had he left me for Isabel then? I hated that he was calling me baby. Why didn’t he go call his precious Isabel, baby? He seemed to love and care more for her, anyways. I cleared my head and watched how much my band was enjoying themselves as they performed, and this made me smile.

After the performance and packing up, I sighed as I sank down in the backseat of our van. It was great to be back. The rest of my band climbed in as settled themselves around.

“Where the hell were you before, John?” Josh asked.

“I was getting this.” John asked. I opened my eyes to see what he had gotten. It was a rather big joint. Everyone’s expressions lifted into smiles. He lit it and passed it around the van. I was last and took a bit hit out of it. The first time I had tried weed was also with the Gomez brothers. They were bad influence, but I still couldn’t live without them. My nerves instantly calmed and nothing seemed to bother me. Garrett was nothing but a butterfly in my life.

Everyone took a few more hits until the joint was gone. We were all at ease and giggling at nothing in particular. My phone rang with a text message. I jumped over all of my high friends to grab my phone that was charging on the dashboard. It was John who had texted me, asking to have dinner with them. I replied back with an “okay, be right there”, but I knew what I really had written was “okay! Right there I shall be”.

“I’ll be back in a bit. Don’t leave me again, assholes.” I told my friends as I jumped over them again, climbing out of the van. John replied to my text message with a “what the fuck was that?”. I laughed as I skipped to their van. They were standing outside waiting for me. They turned to look at me with confused expressions when they heard me skipping my way to them.

“What the fuck was with that text message?” John asked.

“And what’s wrong with you?” Kennedy added, looking me up and down. I was glad it was dark. They wouldn’t see my extreme red eyes.

“Nothing.” I giggled.

“Are you high?” Pat asked.

“No.” I laughed.

“You’re high.” Jared raised an eyebrow.

“Kahennedy, tell them I’m not high.” I said, wrapping my arms around Kennedy. Or so I thought it was Kennedy.

“Yeah, I’m not Kennedy.” I heard Garrett say. No wonder I smelled Garrett’s cologne instead of Kennedy’s. “And she reeks of weed.”

“Well, you don’t smell too well yourself, dick head.” I yelled, stepping away from him. Who was I kidding? He smelled amazing. He had that Garrett smell I always loved.

“Why are you getting high? You weren’t like this before.” Max said.

“Like I’ve said, people change. I'm sorry about the way I turned out. I'm sorry about disappointing you guys. I'm sorry about not being perfect Evelyn. Brian and the others may not have the best of habits, but they were the ones who caught me in a bad situation I was left in." I said as tears streamed down my cheeks.

"No, no. Don't cry, Evelyn." Pat soothed, rubbing my shoulder.

"You don't disappoint us in any way." John said.

"You're perfect in our eyes, but no one in this world is perfect." Jared added.

"We still love you the same as we always have." Kennedy said and wrapped his arms around me. I buried my face in his chest as sobs escaped from my throat. He didn’t seem to mind my tears staining his shirt.

"Why?" I looked up from Kennedy's arms and glared right at Garrett. "Why the fuck did you have to hurt me? You meant so much to me and you said you loved me as well. I despise you for doing this to me."

Garrett just stared at me, his blue eyes wide with shock at my outburst.

"You said you cared for me and promised to never hurt me. You're a fucking liar. You broke me, you bastard."

"I never lied. I truly did love you. I still do!" Garrett shouted back before climbing into the van and shutting the door behind him.

Now it was my turn to be left with a shocked expression. I stayed there wide eyed staring at their van. He still loved me. Why the fuck had he left with Isabel then? I buried my face on Kennedy's chest as I continued sobbing. John's hand softly stroke my back to comfort me.

We walked across the street to a Dennis. As we ordered, Garrett joined us and sat as far away as he could from me. I stared at him and his eyes were red and puffy. Had he been crying? Impossible. He only cared about himself.

“So how’s your dad?” Vito asked me.

“He’s alright.” I answered. See, my dad was the head of Fearless Records and that was how I had met the guys. I knew they weren’t using me. I had learned to recognize those who would only befriend me to meet bands and try to get my dad to notice them. I had moved to Arizona to start fresh and get away from everyone. I lived in my own apartment and worked for my dad from there. He paid for my necessities and I thanked him for that. I was still working for him as I always left on the road with The Summer Set or back when I left with The Maine.

“Have you visited him?” Jared asked.

“Not really. I haven’t been in the get out into the social life mood. Jess and the guys were the ones that dragged me out. Hence the whole getting high, smoking, and drinking situation.” I shrugged. Kennedy wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer.

“Don’t fuck up your body because of him.” He whispered in my ear and kissed my head.

After we ate and paid, we walked back to the bands’ parking. We dropped off the guys in their van and Kennedy walked me to my van. It was a quiet and awkward walk.

“I’m excited for tomorrow.” I told him.

“I’m glad you agreed to go with me. Would you and your band like to go sightseeing with us in New York?” He asked.

“It would be a pleasure.” I smiled. When we were two vans away from mines, Kennedy and I stopped.

“We’ll follow you guys. At what time tomorrow?” I asked, blushing.

“Noon.” He smiled and I nodded. I gave him a kiss on the cheek before thanking him and walking to my van. I peeked into the windows of my van and my band was all knocked out in the back seats. I laughed and jumped into the driver’s seat.

I drove back to The Maine’s van where they were waiting for me. Jared was driving with Max next to him. I followed their van into the highway. I glanced at the time and it was past one in the morning. I felt wide awake. I plugged my iPod into the radio and attempted to block out any thoughts of Garrett. That was impossible, so I just allowed the memories flow freely through my mind.