Pillow Talk

“You know,” Brendon says, tracing little circles onto Spencer’s bare belly with his fingers, “I saw this thing online that says that most people fall in love seven times before they get married.”

Spencer snorts, shifting slightly on the bed. Brendon’s fingers are feather-light on his skin and he knows all of Spencer’s sensitive spots. “Where’d you find that out, Wikipedia?”

“No, actually,” Brendon huffs, “it was this totally scientific website, I swear. Ryan linked me to it.”

“Well, if Ryan linked you to it,” Spencer says dryly. There’s a pause, no longer than a heartbeat, then: “Seven people, you say?”

“Seven people, Spencer Smith. Who were yours?”

Spencer considers this for a few moments, trying to ignore the tickling sensation around his navel. Brendon’s nearly as distracting when he’s actively trying to be as when he isn’t.

“I’m not most people,” Spencer says eventually, reaching to cover Brendon’s hand with his own. Brendon’s gaze flicks to his face, lips curling into an easy smile like he agrees. “I don’t have seven. And I fell for you first, so.”

“Lies,” Brendon declares, shaking his head firmly. “You fell in love with Ryan first, don’t even try to deny it.”

Spencer’s mouth drops open. “Wait, what? How’d you- I’m not in love with Ryan,” he says, too quickly.

Brendon shrugs, fingers pressing harder into the fleshy part of Spencer’s stomach. “Not any more,” he says, “but you were. It’s okay, I get it. He’s Ryan. It’s kind of hard not to be a little bit in love with him.”

“You were in love with Ryan,” Spencer points out, not without a touch of bitterness he can’t really help. Years ago, when their band was a pipe dream in Spencer’s grandma’s living room, Brendon looked at Ryan like he hung the moon and the stars and taught them how to shine. It’s been a long time since he looked at Ryan like that, but Spencer still remembers the awful clenching feeling in his gut whenever he caught Brendon doing it.

Brendon laughs softly, shaking his head. “Maybe heavy lust, very heavy lust, but I only had eyes for you, Spence.”

Spencer sits up, Brendon’s fingers falling away from his skin. “What?”

Brendon shifts, uncomfortable, and doesn’t meet Spencer’s eyes. “I had the biggest crush on you for, like, a year after we first met. But I figured you were too in love with Ryan to even notice, so.”

Spencer takes Brendon’s chin in his hands and tilts it up, forcing Brendon to look at him. “Brendon,” Spencer says, soft and serious, “I stopped thinking about Ryan like that the day I met you.”

Brendon’s eyes are wide. “What, seriously?”

“Yes, dickwad,” Spencer says, rolling his eyes. “I had the hugest crush on you too, seriously. It was so fucking obvious. Ryan took the piss out of me all the time. How did you not notice?”

“You didn’t notice, and I was way more obvious than you,” Brendon reminds him, nudging Spencer’s side with his elbow. “Guess we were both kinda idiots.”

Spencer considers protesting, but Brendon has a point. “Yeah, I guess we were. But then you had Audrey and I had Haley and-”

“Wait, no,” Brendon interrupts, shaking his head. “You are not trying to tell me that it’s only me, Ryan and Haley, dude. I don’t believe you. Seven people, Spencer.”

“I told you, I don’t have seven,” Spencer replies, but that isn’t the whole truth. He bites his lip, hesitant, but this is Brendon, he can’t have secrets from him any more. “There was someone else, though.”

Brendon’s lips curve up into a triumphant grin. Spencer kind of wants to kiss that look off his face, but mostly because it irritates him and not at all because he finds it endearing. “I knew it,” he crows, and yeah, it’s definitely more irritating than endearing. “Who was it, then?”

Spencer glances away, wincing. “Bob.”

“Bob?” Brendon all but screeches, eyes huge and round. “Bob Bryar?”

“Yes, Bob Bryar, how many other Bobs do we know?” Spencer mutters, the flush rising in his cheeks.

“When did you even-” Brendon flails a little, arms windmilling around his head. “I didn’t even know you dated, I mean, I knew you had a massive hard-on for him-” Spencer flips him off; Brendon ignores him. “-but you didn’t tell me you-”

“It was just one time, years ago, when we were touring together,” Spencer says carefully, ducking his head when Brendon’s eyes get even wider. He understands Brendon’s surprise; Spencer doesn’t do one-night stands, and for good reason. He gets attached too easily. “It wasn’t- it wasn’t supposed to be a thing.”

“But it was.” Spencer nods. Brendon’s silent for a moment, processing this information, then he says, “You should’ve told me. I’d have gotten Zack to pound him into the dirt for you.”

Spencer laughs softly. “I appreciate the thought,” he says, “but it’s okay. I got over him.” Eventually, he doesn’t say. He doesn’t really need to.

“So this was before Haley, then,” Brendon says, mostly to himself.

Spencer nods anyway. “And then after Haley, I finally got up the nerve to ask you out,” Spencer says, with what he is willing to admit is kind of a stupid grin, “and now look at us.”

“Yeah,” Brendon agrees, leaning down to grab Spencer’s hand and kiss the ring on his finger. If it had been anyone else, Spencer would’ve laughed, would’ve thought it ridiculous and over-dramatic. “Look at us.”

“So who were your seven people, Bren?” Spencer asks, looking up at him.

Brendon coughs, rocking back on his heels. “I, um, don’t have seven people either,” he says sheepishly. “I have... kind of a bit more.” Arching an eyebrow, Spencer motions for him to elaborate. “You, Jon, Audrey, Sarah, Shane, Ian, Dallon, Pete-”

It’s Spencer’s turn to be shocked. “Pete?” he exclaims. The rest of them he could believe, pretty easily in fact, but Pete Wentz? “Seriously?”

“And Patrick,” Brendon continues, blushing fiercely, “and Gerard and Mikey Way. At, um, at the same time.” He ducks his head, avoiding Spencer’s intent gaze. “I don’t know if it was love for all of them, but it- it felt like it. At the time. So you know. I think it was.”

“You didn’t- with all of them-”

“Nah,” Brendon laughs, shaking his head. Spencer feels bad for feeling relieved, but he can’t help it. “Just Audrey and Sarah and Shane and you.”

“Hey,” Spencer says, nudging Brendon’s hip with his knee, “we’ve got fourteen people between us, you know. That’s seven on average.”

Brendon grins. “See, I told you,” he says, nudging Spencer back. “Totally scientific.”

Spencer rolls his eyes. “Yeah,” he says dryly, “it’s totally scientific.”

“Spencer Smith, are you mocking me?” Brendon demands, scowling in a way that is totally endearing and not at all irritating.

Spencer still leans forward to kiss the look off his face anyway. “Yeah,” he murmurs, smiling against Brendon’s lips. “What are you gonna do about it?”

“Oh, I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do about it,” Brendon says mock-threateningly, before pulling Spencer back down on top of him and kissing him breathless.

I am never going to get used to this, Spencer thinks, when Brendon’s pulled away long enough for him to catch his breath, but he’s not sure he really wants to.