There and Back

Ugh. Summer school. Who the hell ever came up with this fucking torture? It makes me want to shoot myself. Okay, now I'm being a slight bit overdramatic. I'm not that suicidal quite yet. I was stuck going back to school every day, including Saturdays, while the rest of Forks enjoyed a few rare months of sun. Only the really stupid students like me were stuck in this hell hole. It was boring but something crazy happened over the first two weeks- I actually started to like it.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not turning into a nerd or anything. There were some differences about summer school that made me enjoy it. First, I didn't have to put up with the normal drama of high school. Lauren and Jessica were long gone so I didn't have to deal with their crap. The class sizes were smaller so I could pay attention without getting ADD. Learning went by so much quicker with people not distracting me. And most importantly, focusing on school took my mind off of Jacob.
Thinking about Jacob and what a heartless bitch I was make me feel physically sick. Both of my arms had become so cut that the skin was nothing but ridges upon ridges of scars. I started taking more classes than just the ones I needed to graduate. I was getting to the point where my life revolved around school work and even Sundays were used for homework. I took refuge in the workload because it limited the amount of time I had to think of other things.
"Lizzy, are you sure that you're you?" Emma asked jokingly one Sunday afternoon.
"Of course it's me," I answered without looking up from my English homework.
"Are you sure? The Liz I grew up with would just blow off all homework and do something fun."
"That's exactly why I'm stuck doing this crap," I snapped at her. "I blew off enough school and homework already that I won't graduate next year if I don't do this."
I didn't have to look up to know that she rolled her eyes. "Do you remember freshman year? Neither of us did our homework. Thank god for Bella, or we never would've passed."
I sighed, putting down my worksheet. "Em, I can't rely on Bella forever. It's time that I stood on my own two feet."
"You're still really broken up about Jacob, aren't you?"
"More than you know," I sighed.
Weeks melted into months and before I knew it, Senior year at Forks High had started. The excitement for the rest of my classmates was tangible on the first day. I, on the other hand, wished I was still in summer school. The halls seemed too crowded even though there were only around three hundred fifty students. I let out a heavy sigh.
"Aren't you the least bit excited about being a Senior?" Alice asked brightly.
I shrugged. "It's just school. What's the big deal about one more year?"
"Hello, it's your last year. Then you'll be off to college and starting the next step of your life. You have to be excited about that."
"Not all of us can be as happy about everything as you, Alice. Besides, how many times have you been a Senior?"
She pursed her lips slightly and shook her head. "That's not the point. There's a difference between you and me. You will graduate and never have to come back to high school. It's time that you stop being depressed and enjoy your last year of free school."
I gave a half-hearted salute. "Yes ma'am," I answered dully.
I love Alice most of the time but sometimes she is such a pain in the ass. All the way to our first hour, she kept trying to get me in a good mood. She was antsy all through class trying to find a way to get me out of the zombieland that I was in. When the bell rang signaling the end of class, I literally ran out of the room in hopes of avoiding her. She caught up with me easily. Stupid vampire.
"I'll find a way to make you happy again," she threatened.
"Oh joy," I muttered sarcastically.
The first three months of school past by in a blur. It was a few days before Halloween and Alice insisted that we go to Seattle to get our costumes. I let her drag me along because I'd become nothing but an empty shell. Five months without seeing Jacob is a long ass time. I sighed to myself in the car. This is going to be a long day.
The shopping trip lived up to my expectations. I'd found a costume in a matter of minutes. Alice and Bella were taking a lot longer. I sat in one of the hard plastic chairs by the dressing room of the Halloween store hitting my head against the wall behind me. I pulled out a sketchpad from my bag and started drawing random shapes for lack of anything better to do. My eyes wondered the store to the different shoppers while my hands worked on their own accord.
"Mommy, I want to be the wolf-man!" A little boy exclaimed. My heart squeezed tightly in my chest and I decided to focus on my drawing rather than people watch. People aren't that interesting anyway.
I dropped my eyes to the picture only to be met with a very detailed portrait of Jacob. "Son of a bitch!" I said loudly. A few innocent store goers looked at me like I was crazy. Mothers with their kids glared at me but I just ignored them. I quickly tore the paper to shreds and threw them in a trashcan. Like I said, this was going to be a long day.
Back at school the day before Halloween, everyone was talking about the party that Mike Newton was having. I was sitting with Edward, Alice, and Bella at our table. Angela and Ben were still in line but the last two seats were reserved for them.
"None of us are going to the party, right?" Alice confirmed when Angela and Ben had taken their places.
"Right. We're having our own get together at the house," Edward agreed.
"That sound fun. Right, Ben?"
"Sure, Angela."
"Yippee," I mumbled so only Edward and Alice could hear. I was having my own thought of staying home and watching Saw I through V. I could always make Bella watch them with me. That would totally scare her shitless.
"Lizzy," Edward said warningly.
I stuck my tongue out at him. I opened my mouth to cuss him out when I was interrupted by the principle. "Elizabeth, may I please speak with you?"
Aw crap. What the fuck did I do? I mean, I’d been being pretty good like all year long. I got up and followed him out of the cafeteria. A few 'oooh's were heard around the room. "Yes?" I asked with false sweetness.
"Lizzy, it's about your summer school credits."
Oh god. Don't tell me I don't have enough to graduate. My heart started pounding in my chest. Well isn't this frickin perfect?