What If I'm Afraid to Love Again

After I had my talk with Paul we just watched movies and chilled out while he told me what had happened in La Push over the past couple of years. My best friend Kim is finally dating her crush Jared who was Paul’s best friend. Sam had split up with Leah Clearwater and was now engaged to a woman called Emily. Harry Clearwater had died not to long ago which I was upset about; I was quite close to the Clearwater family. I don’t remember him but apparently Jacob Black had some drama with a girl called Bella I don’t really now I stopped paying attention after I had put on Dear John I mean come on Channing Tatum on screen he’s gorgeous you can’t help it if you get a little distracted while watching him I mean any girl would. The movie had just finished and I looked at the clock on the wall and it read 10:30pm it was later than I thought I told Paul I should start heading home we hugged and said our goodbyes.

Paul walked me to my car and gave me one last hug and said “I’m really glad your back home baby sis, I missed you so much”. “Me to Paul, me to but I’m here to stay I need to feel the comfort of a home again and that’s here in La Push and it always will be”. Paul smiled and kissed my forehead “Oh yeah while I remember would you maybe want to meet Sam and Emily, I’m usually over at their house and I’m sure they will want to meet my little sister”. I thought for a minute wouldn’t that be intruding a little I mean Sam’s always lived on the Rez but I’ve never talked to him before I left and I think Emily is Leah and Seth’s cousin or something along those lines I’m not sure but if their Paul’s friends and he’s always over their house it would only make sense that I go and meet them. “Yeah sure sounds like fun, um should I come over here in the morning so it will be easier because I don’t know where they live, obviously”. “Yeah sounds good we’ll head over at around 11”. “Well okay then, I’ll see you tomorrow morning then” I hugged him again and then steeped inside my car and made my way home.

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I woke up the next morning at 9:30 so I made my way to the bathroom to have a shower, I washed my hair and body and grabbed a towel from the rack and walked back into my bedroom. I went to my draws and picked out my underwear and then headed over to my closet I decided to wear this. (Insert outfit here) I decided to wear heels for a boost in my height sneakers were just not going to cut it today I thought. I don’t really know how I’m so short my Mom was like 5’8 and then Paul’s a freaking giant. Thinking about it now the only people I’ve seen who are smaller that me are little kids. Curse my 5’0 frame, but I’m a shortie and proud. Well anyway I’m going of track here. After I had got dressed I decided to do my hair and make up, I blow dried my hair and then decided to straighten it, and I kept my make-up light, I am no plastic Barbie who plasters her make-up on. Once I decided I looked okay I grabbed my bag and phone and any other stuff I needed and walked downstairs for a quick breakfast.

It was quarter to 11 by the time I had finished breakfast so I quickly ran upstairs yes I can run in heels I practically like my life in them, and I’m talking high, HIGH heels, and I brushed my teeth before heading out to Paul’s. Paul’s house wasn’t that away from my house so I decided to walk and it wasn’t that cold outside any way. After about a 10 minute walk I was knocking on Paul’s door a couple of seconds later the door swung open with Paul standing there looking like an idiot with a grin on his face, I smiled back “Morning Paulie, how’s it going?” “Hey Nena it’s going fine I’m so excited that you finally get to meet Sam and Emily you’ll love her she’s amazing” I laughed at his happiness “I’m sure I will Paulie, are you going to let me in now, or are you just gonna let me stand on your doorstep all day” “Oh yeah right come in, I just gotta brush my teeth and then I’m ready to go” “Okay no problem”.

Five minutes later we were walking our way to Sam and Emily’s. “I don’t know how you can walk in those heels Nena”. I chuckled at his ignorance “Silly, silly boy I need these heels for added height, I’m used to it now it’s like walking around in sneakers”. “They don’t add that much height Nena you would need to wear stilts to be as tall as me” He laughed. I glared at him and said “Well not all of us can be jolly green giants can we”. He didn’t say anything he just laughed a little and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

We stopped at a house which I assumed to be Sam’s it wasn’t big but I could feel warmth and comfort radiating of it. Paul walked to the door and opened it without even knocking. I was shocked. I scolded him “Paul don’t be so rude you idiot you don’t just go opening people’s doors and walking in. God Paul get some manners”. I stopped my rant when I heard a chuckle from behind Paul. I looked around Paul’s body and saw a freakishly huge man with black cropped hair, and he had to be at least 6ft 4’. I blushed. I managed to squeak out a small “Hi”. The man chuckled again “Hey I’m Sam nice to meet you”.

I smiled I got a feeling of comfort from him, that I could easily tell him my darkest secrets and he wouldn’t tell a soul. I smiled “I’m Sienna nice to meet you to”. A woman then walked out of what I assumed to be the kitchen and went to stand next to Sam, he smiled and pulled her into him and kissed her scarred cheek. You could see the love they both held for each other. She smiled at me, “Hi, I’m Emily Sam’ fiancée, nice to meet you” I smiled back, she was beautiful, and the scars on her face gave her more beauty “Hey I’m Sienna”. She pulled me into a hug, I welcomed it, I felt safe here.

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Sam and Paul walked to the living room saying something about watching the game. “Boys will be boys huh, would you mind helping me with breakfast”. “Yeah sure no problem”. We walked back into the kitchen, “What do you need me to do?” I asked. “Well the eggs need cooking so If you could do that while I cook the bacon and pancakes, oh and make a lot the boys will be here soon so I expect they will be hungry” “Boys?” I questioned. “Oh Paul’s friends, they always come here after patr- I mean work.”

I didn’t know what she was going to say but I never questioned her I just got on with the eggs. We chatted about my life before I left La Push, where I stayed after I ran away, I told her the basics of where I was no details about Tommy or anything, I think she could tell it was still a sore subject for me so she didn’t pry to much.

We were putting all the food onto plates when I heard the front door opening and heard laughing and loud shouting. “I take it the boys are here then”. She sighed and chuckled a little “You would be correct, there nice boys just a bit loud”. She set the plates on the table and started to walk out of the kitchen she motioned for me to follow her so I did.

“Hey Em” they greeted once they had saw her. I walked over to Paul, I could feel eyes on my back as I walked. I leaned into Paul going shy at all the people staring at me. “Guys this is my baby sister Sienna, Sienna these are the guys, Jared, Embry, Quil, Jacob” I smiled at them all and waved a little, they all one by one pulled me into a hug and also commented about my height which I didn’t appreciate. Once Jared had released me I turned to Jacob and smiled a little, he was just staring at me. I looked into his deep chocolate eyes and just stared at his glowing russet face, could feel myself blush under his loving gaze.

I got knocked out of my staring when I heard a loud growl. It came from Paul’s direction, I looked at him and his face held so much anger I was scared, he lunged for Jacob, and I quickly jumped out of his reach “THAT’S MY LITTLE SISTER YOU IDIOT, IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU”. Jacob snapped out of it, just as Paul was about to hit him. He blocked Paul’s fist from hitting him “I couldn’t help it, you know that, it not my fault” he shouted back. Paul was shaking so bad I thought he might explode right on the spot, I was just staring at the two of them wide eyed, that’s when Sam stepped in “ OUTSIDE NOW”. He shouted.

They both ran outside while Sam followed them. I turned to Jared asking the silent question what was that? He just shrugged like he didn’t know but I could tell he knew. I looked at the others and they just looked down at the floor. Emily just smiled and said “You’ll find out soon, don’t worry, they’ll be fine”. I nodded and sat down at the table my thoughts running wild. What were they talking about? What did Jacob mean when he said he couldn’t help it? Help what? Why was Paul shaking so bad? All I knew was that it wasn’t normal, and I needed answers soon. La Push had gotten weirder, that’s for sure.