Brick by Boring Brick

-Gerard’s POV-


I was running through a dark and terrifying forest. Trees were ripping my hair out and making me scream in pain. Hidden objects were tripping me over and laughing as I fell. I could feel insects crawling under my skin and exiting my body through my pores. I felt dirtier than dirt and more disgusting than worm filled mud. Thoughts were swirling in my head as I ran, all these thoughts involved my Frank in some way. Mostly about how I wished he was here to rescue me.

I had no idea where I was, but I knew that I had to keep on running. I could see a light approaching me from behind and I knew if that light caught me, well then it’d be game over.

The adrenaline pumping through my veins was enough to keep my body running, but my brain was also going into overdrive. I knew I was stuck in a dream, well a nightmare to be honest, but where was my Frank? Normally he was here to protect me from such terrible thoughts, but he was nowhere in site.

Wait, did that mean the cancer had already kill-

I collapsed to the ground and stated sobbing. My fists pounded the ground along with my tears. If my Frank had left before I got the chance to say goodbye, well I couldn’t promise that I’d survive. I never knew I could feel this way about someone, yet alone a dream boy. He was my everything and I was willing to do anything to save him.

A light surrounded me before another sob could escape my throat. The light burned my eyelids and pierced through my skin, almost like it was cleansing me. My tears dried up instantly and I looked up through my curtain of black hair. A figure was approaching me, as hard as I tried I couldn’t see who it was. The light made their face appear as black as night. I felt slightly scared as I got to my feet and stared at them.

As the figure got closer, I noticed the pained way they walked and how they seemed to be wiping away tears. They looked as though they were in pain and even the smallest of steps seemed to harm them. Instantly I thought of my Frank and how he was always in discomfort. I took a step forward and the light disappeared and so did the forest. I was now standing in a meadow filled with lavender; it was our meadow. Desperately I looked around for my lover and found him walking towards a bench under a willow tree. I ran towards him, not caring that my lungs were on fire from my previous exercise. As I got closer to him I could see his outline fading.

“Frankie..” I called out to him softly. His head whipped around and he smiled at me, but didn’t stop walking. I quickly overtook him and stood waiting at the bench for him. Gently I helped him sit down and then pulled him close.

“I love you more than you’ll ever know.” I whispered into his ear, while letting my fingers tangle themselves through his sweet smelling hair. Frank’s body stiffened and he pushed me away from his hair slightly. I looked down at him with wounded puppy dog eyes.

Frank looked at me with mischief in his eyes and a charming smile on his lips. “Gee, honey, you’re covered in mud and other icky things.”

“Well, maybe you should come shower with me..” I purred into my lover’s ear. His eyes widened in shock and a tiny bit of lust appeared in them. Smiling, I nibbled on his ear, allowing him to melt into my dirty arms.

“Mmm.. No, Gee baby, we can’t.”

“Yes, we can.” my fingers danced across the top of his jeans, before sinfully dipping under his shirt and feeling his ever so soft skin. I could feel Frank’s body reacting to my fingers on his skin. I leaned forward and kissed his neck before biting lightly. A small moan escaped from the back of my Frank’s throat as I bite down on his Adam’s apple.

“Gee.. We can’t.. I.. Oh god.. I came to tell you something..” Frank whispered the end part quickly. I stopped my biting and looked at my lover curiously. His eyes darted to them ground and his tongue ran over his lips.
“I love you Gee, but it’s time for me to go.”

“Go?” I asked, my voice slightly shaky, as I feared what his answer would be. Instantly my grip around his waist tightened, there was no way that I was letting him go. Not yet at least.

“Yes honey, it’s time for me to leave you. You don’t need little old me any more. You need to get out there in the real world and explore. Let people know who Gerard Arthur Way is, let someone love you for who you truly are. You’re a wonderful, amazing, loving person Gerard and you need to show the real Frank that. You both need each other more than you’ll ever know and I’m only holding you back.”

His beautiful hazel eyes refused to meet mine as he talked, my hands covered his small ones and I brought them to my lips and kissed them lightly. My angel was speaking the language of stupidity; because he knew there was no way that I was going to leave him.

“Frankie I could never love him the way I love you. The way I feel towards you is indescribable, but if you asked me to try I would.. I would do anything for you. I don’t care if you’re not real, I would gladly spend the rest of my life in a dream if it meant I could be with you..”

Frank’s eyes met mine and I could see the pain hidden behind his tears. The cancer was eating away at him and taking away that life that always danced in his eyes. The life, that seemed to come from his very soul. The life that had drawn me to him. My fingers caught his tears as the streamed down his face in silent screams of pain.

“You have to try Gee, he’s real and I’m not. He can actually be there for you unlike me. Please promise me you’ll try? I can’t stand the thought of you being alone or worse living with a million cats.” Frank begged me, a small smile on his lips. I had to smile too; me living with a million cats was a fairly amusing idea.

Looking deep into his eyes, I nodded my head silently. My Frank’s smile grew as he leaned forward and kissed my lips gently. Smiling into the kiss, my eyes closed on their own accord as I enjoyed the proximity I felt. My heart swelled and my blood raced through my body as I pulled my lover closer. He pulled out of our kiss and kissed the top of my nose; a cute little habit he had.

“I’ll always love you Gerard Arthur Way.”

And with those seven little words he was gone and so was my heart.


I awoke in tears and screams of sadness wanting to escape from my mind and body, but I couldn’t let them out. Not now and not in this house. Throwing myself off my bed, I quickly threw some clothes on and raced upstairs. As I tiptoed through the kitchen, I quickly stopped to grab some choc chip cookies - My ultimate weakness.

I sat on the back porch and looked up at the nighttime sky. Holding my breath; I started making a million wishes on each one. Each and every one of those wishes was directed to my sweetest lover. I didn’t care that it felt like it was minus one hundred degrees and that it was a Sunday evening. I needed to clear my crowded head and lose myself for a few hours.

Bringing a cookie to my mouth, I chewed thoughtfully as the twinkling stars entertained me. I liked stars, they looked so simple and pretty, when in actual fact they were more complicated than the female species. Not that I really needed to understand them anyways.

As a sigh escaped from my mouth, I heard a cough from behind me. Whipping around I saw the real Frank standing there, his eyes resting and a smirk on his crimson lips.

“what are you doing here?” I asked in a high and harsh voice. I instantly wished that I could take my tone of voice back, because Frank cringed and looked down at the ground. “Uhm, sorry.. It’s just late and.. yeah..”

“no, it’s okay. I guess me showing up here wasn’t exactly planned or expected. Maybe I should just go..” Frank’s voice was soft and kind, as his eyes drifted back up to mine. Looking into his eyes, I noticed a difference in them. They seemed softer and innocent, a lot more like my dream Frank’s eyes.

I stood there getting lost in his eyes, not feeling anything besides the warmth that now radiated from them. Reaching out, my fingers brushed against Frank’s rosy red cheeks, which went a deeper red as I touched him. He felt so warm and real. caressing his cheek with my thumb brought a smile to my face as I thought about all the moments I had shared with my dream Frank.

“Gerard, are you okay?” Frank whispered gently. His voice brought me back from my memories and I could feel wetness on my cheeks. Blinking slowly, I looked at the boy in front of me.

Frank shakily brought his hand up to my face, he paused slightly before contacting with me. His thumb skimmed over my skin like ducks on a ponds surface. As he wiped away my tears of misery, I noticed him holding his breath and looking at me as though I shouldn’t feel real. He was looking at me the way I knew I looked at him.

Reaching up, I caught his hand in mine and looked at the way his hand seemed to fit perfectly in mine. Like two pieces of a friendship bracelet coming together. The real Frank seemed no different to my dream Frank, but could we have the same spark between us?

Then came his beautiful, angelic voice again. “I’m sorry for the way I’ve been treating you. I wish I could explain why, but it would only seem crazy and outlandish. Do you think you could give me a second chance, a chance to start over and pretend this bad week never happened?”

There was a sadness in Frank’s voice that instantly appealed to my heart. He was playing on my heartstrings like they were a guitar. My hand tightened around his and I pulled him a little bit closer to me. Looking down into those eyes I thought could only exist in my dreams, I smiled briefly, before a dark thought crossed my mind.

“You don’t have cancer do you Frank?”

“Cancer? Not that I know of, but if I keep smoking the way I do then I might end up with lung cancer or something like that. Why do you ask?”

“Oh no reason.” I whispered into the air above Frank’s head. Even though I could feel Frank’s breath on my chest and see the twinkling stars, my mind was a million miles away in the special place I called my dreams.

I was thinking of my lover and wondering if he was okay. Even though I had the real Frank right here in front of me, I still wanted my dream lover. He was the one I loved and cared for. He was the only one that truly understood me and the only one who cared.

Everyone else in my life was fickle and fake, so naturally all I wanted was something real. Was I so pathetic that the only place I could find something real was somewhere made up on lies and whims?

I opened my sleepy eyes to see the sparkly stars reflecting in Frank’s, he looked truly handsome and was everything I could ever want, need and dream of. So what was holding me back? It was a simple question, but had a long and complicated answer -

Could we make something that only existed in my dreams real?