Brick by Boring Brick

-Gerard's POV-

Unfortunately I didn't see Frank for the rest of the day, which gave me even more reason to believe that he wasn't real.

School passed by in a blur and I couldn't remember learning anything in class, but I was fully aware of all cheap shots, slaps, kicks and names I was called. This school was killing me, I didn't know if I could survive the rest of the school year without either killing myself or everyone in the school.

I walked home alone at the end of the day with tears silently running down my face. I was so sick and tired of school and my life. I just wanted to be left alone. Atleast at home, I'd be treated like I was invisible and get the alone time I craved. For once I was glad that my parents didn't love me.

Stepping inside my warm house, I could smell tomato sauce and pasta cooking. My stomach let out a chorus of rumbling, alerting me to the fact that I hadn't eaten at school. A small, kinda healthy snack wouldn't hurt my figure, would it? Walking into the kitchen, I noticed my mother with her back to me, at the stove. Trying to be quiet and sneaky, I grabbed an apple and a can of Coke Zero. As the fridge door slid shut, my mother jumped into the air.

"Mikey! Is that you?" She spun around, a massive smile on her face, which slowly faded as she stared at me."Oh.. Uhm... Hello.. Eh, Jared?"

Tears swelled up into my eyes, as I looked at the person who gave birth to me and once held me in her arms, as she looked down at me eyes filled with love.

"It's Gerard.. My name is Gerard." I whispered, tears now running down my cheeks. She nodded sharply and turned back around.

I kicked the wall and stormed off to my room in the basement, where I slammed my door and flopped down onto my bed. I slowly started to calm down as I looked up at my ceiling. It was littered with thousands of those glow in the dark stars. I liked stars, they were simple and pretty but told millions of stories with every twinkle.

Sitting up, I cracked my can open and munched on my apple. I did feel pretty healthy, even though I was drinking coke. Atleast it had no sugar in it.

My mind started wondering as I stared off into space. I couldn't help but think about that cheeky, but sexy wink Frank had given me in class. I wonder if there was any meaning behind it, but then again, maybe he was just being friendly.

My eyes started closing involuntarily, as I threw my apple core towards the bin, missing by a mile. After setting my can down, I snuggled into my blankets and pulled my extra pillow to my chest, so I was hugging it. A small nap before dinner sounded like a good idea to me. It's not like I had anything to do anyways.

I was walking around an old abandoned park, the only play equipment that was still intact was the swings. So I headed there and sat down. As I waited, I turned my face towards the sun and relaxed. It felt so soothing to feel the sun on my skin, it was calming and relaxing.

Soon my sunlight was blocked and a pair of lips were pressed gently against mine. I opened my eyes as the kiss ended. There stood my Frank. No tattoos, no piercings and no eyeliner.

"Hey Frankie." I whispered and smiled. He smiled back and sat on the swing next to mine.

"Hey Gee babey." My dream boy reached out for my hand and laced our fingers together. The sun burned brighter as our skin touched.

"I had a super crazy day at school today. You were there, except you had tattoos and piercings and you were real.." I announced. Running the pad of my thumb over his knuckles, I waited to see what he had to say about the topic.

"I know Gee." Frank said quietly, he paused for a minute before continuing."You need to get close to him, you need to love him."

I shook my head and stood up. I pulled Frank off his swing and into my arms, so I could hug him tightly. The real Frank had nothing on my dream Frank, so I was pretty sure that I couldn't love him.

"Nah-ah, no way, I have you. I don't need anyone else, even if he does look like you.." I muttered. Kissing the top of Frank's nose, I noticed a glistening tear escaping from his beautiful eyes. Catching it with the tip of my thumb, another one joined seconds later. I hadn't meant to upset him with my words, if he wanted me to love the other Frank, well then I'd try to.

"Gerard... I'm.. I'm dying.."

Time seemed to freeze around us, there were no sounds, except for Frank's sobs and my heavy breathing.

"D-dying?" I questioned softly. Frank bit his lip and nodded. I let out a loud sob and fell to my knees with Frank. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close.

We sat there on the pinebark for ages. Crying our hearts out and allowing our salty tears to seep into our open stinging wounds. I couldn't bring myself to ask how he was dying, because then I'd have to accept it and believe it.

Frank ended the silence with three horrible words.
"I have cancer." He whispered into my ear. I cringed and looked him at through my bloodshot eyes. Frank looked away and licked his dry lips. I turned his face back to me gently, so I could look at him.

His lips were dry and cracked, making him look like he hadn't had a drink in years. His skin was paler than usual, he was almost as white as a tin of white paint. His usual thick and slightly wavy hair, was thinning out and looking limp. The saddest thing though, was his eyes. They were dull and lacked emotion, it was like looking into a black hole. He was no longer Frank my dream boy, but a shell of his former self. How had I not noticed this earlier?

"You need the other Frank and he needs you. No matter what happens, don't give up.. But remember this, the hardest part of this is leaving you." My lover said, with a light kiss to my cheek. I turned away from him, slightly confused by what he meant. I turned around to ask him, but was met by empty air..

"Gerard, you need to wake-up, please!" I heard Mikey begging. I slowly opened my eyes and Mikey sighed out of relief. "Are you okay? I heard you yelling, so I came down and found you crying in your sleep."

I brought my hand up to my cheeks and felt the wetness there, I didn't even remember crying with Frank. Maybe they were Frank's tears and not mine?

"Uhm, yeah I'm okay... Bad dream I guess." I muttered, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. My younger brother looked at me in concern, before brightening slightly.

"You'll never guess what I heard today." Mikey said. He had a look on his face similar to one a three year old would have, when they got a giant cookie. Trust Mikey to change the topic, he never was good with other peoples emotions.

"What did you hear Mikey?" I asked in a bored tone. My brother was a slight gossip and was forever sharing that gossip with me, even though I never wanted to hear it. Right now, all I wanted to do was to go back to sleep.

"You know Frank, the new kid?" I nodded, suddenly interested as to where this was going."Well, I went to the bathroom today and heard him, you know.. Jerking off!"

My eyes widened as I processed this juicy bit of information. The real Frank had been jerking off at school, didn't he know that was like social suicide?

"Wait.. How do you know it was him?" I questioned.

"Because he practically screamed your name as he jizzed." Mikey answered smugly. My jaw fell open and I searched for something witty to say back, but couldn't think of anything.

Mikey grinned and left me alone with my thoughts. The real Frank had pleasured himself over me, what the hell did that mean? Does that mean he likes me? No way, Mikey must of either heard wrong or was just messing with me.

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

The next morning I woke up numb. I had spent the whole night with my dream Frank in my arms, slowly dying of the cancer that had taken over his small body.

I couldn't fell anything, not even the punches I received to the stomach, nor could I taste the blood I spat up. I couldn't even hear the taunting as I scraped myself up of the ground. A foot forced me back down onto the ground, making my mouth fill with dirt and old cigarette butts. This time I stayed down and learnt my lesson.

Stumbling into music class was one of the hardest things, I've ever done. My numbness was starting to fade away and the pain was kicking in and boy was it kicking in. My stomach felt like it was being ripped open and the muscles were being chewed on by savage dogs. My bones felt like they were snapping and drifting through my blood, making my arms limp and my knees wobble. I kept clawing at my skin, trying to dig the bone fragments out, but they wouldn't budge. The pain was slowly eating me alive.

The class was silent as I limped past them and headed to the back room, where the piano and guitars were kept. No one in this class played the guitar, so I would be safe back here. I closed the door, but didn't lock it, just in case the teacher came to check on me.

I sat down at the piano and instantly grasped my stomach, as a sharp stabbing pain erupted from within. Maybe I should of gone to the nurse first, but I needed to get something important done.

I pulled a notebook and a pen out of my bag, then opened the lid over the keys on the piano.

I couldn't play the piano very well, but I knew enough. I had to do this though, I had to do this for my Frank. Writhing songs was my way of dealing with my lonely life. It gave me a relief from my sadness and grief. Every time I wrote a song, a sea of happiness would wash over me, for a few minutes.

Flipping through my notebook, I came across the two drawings I had done this morning. I had drawn both the Frank's, so I could compare them.

Looking at the drawing of my dream Frank, my hands found their way to the keys and started playing. A sweet but painfully sad melody filled the air around me. My eyes started to fill with tears as I listened to myself play.

"Turn away
If you could get me a drink,
Of water cause my lips are chapped and faded.
Call my Aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things,
And bury me,
In all my favorite colors,
My sisters and my brothers, still,
I will not kiss you,

Cause the hardest part of this,
Is leaving you.

Now turn away,
Cause I'm awful just to see
Cause all my hair's abandoned all my body,
All my agony,
Know that I will never marry,
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo,
But counting down the days to go.
It just ain't living

And I just hope you know,
That if you say,
Good-bye today,
I'd ask you to be true,
Cause the hardest part
of this,
Is leaving you,
Cause the hardest part of this,
Is leaving you.."

I couldn't take it any more, as sobs shook my body, I slammed my fists down on the piano. It made a horrible sound, but I didn't care. I couldn't lose my dream boy to cancer, I just couldn't. He was the only one who truly understood and cared for me. Even if he wasn't real, he was all I had in this world. He was the one keeping me alive.

I slid away from the piano and crawled into a corner. Bringing my knees up to my chest, I hugged them and rested my head on top of them. I watched as tear drops stained my jeans a darker colour and felt my heart dying.

Feeling weak and pathetic, I didn't know what to do any more, so I did the first thing that came to my head. I tilted my head towards the ceiling and prayed to God. I prayed for him not to take my dream boy away, God of all people should know that I need my Frank.

A strong pair of arms wrapped themselves around me and I was pulled into a hug. The person's scent was warm and comforting, like hot chocolate infront of a fire on a cold winter day. I nuzzled into their chest and allowed my tears to paint their shirt. After a few minutes, I sniffled and looked up at my comforter.

That unique beautiful shade of hazel looked back down at me. My hands clenched his shirt, as we stared into each others eyes. A silence fell around us, it was like we were under a spell. Frank soon blinked and the spell that was holding us dissolved.

Frank's eyes went wide and he shook his head."Let me go.. I'm not supposed to be - just let me go.." Frank said, trying to escape from my iron grasp. The sound of his voice, just made me hold on to him tighter.

"No! Don't leave me. I can't have both of you leaving me!" I whimpered. Frank looked at me, confusion written all over his pretty face. Then a look of understanding flashed into his eyes.

"I heard the song you were singing. It was beautiful.. Is someone you know, dying of cancer?" Frank asked in a hushed voice.

My hands fell off his chest and into my lap. I nodded my head slowly. I didn't trust myself to speak, because I knew I'd end up telling him everything. I'm pretty sure he didn't need to know that I dreamt about him, before I met him. That's probably a bit too much exposure of my life.

Frank stood up and I whimpered softly at the lack of comfort and heat, that his arms had held. I watched as Frank paced the room, pulling at his brownish locks out of anger. He kept shooting me glances filled with guilt and worry.

"Not supposed to be near him, I promised... But I can't leave him, while he's so upset.." I heard Frank muttering lowly, pretty sure I wasn't supposed to hear, oh well.

"Please stay with me Frankie." I whispered. I reached out and made grabby signals with my hands. Frank paused and looked at me. Shaking his head; he took a step towards me, placing his hands on my shoulders, he glared up at me.

"Don't call me that, you're not allowed to." Frank spat angrily. I looked up at him in disbelief, he was nothing like my dream boy. Apart from their looks, they couln't be more different. Why did my dream Frank want me to get close to the real Frank? It made no sense to me.

There was only one person I wanted and he was dying... Soon, I truly was going be alone.