The Plague of Popularity

I love you.

I wanted more than anything to say those threesmallhuge words back—but I’m a weenie and I already told him I think I love him. I do love him, I’m such a loser when it comes to relationships, and I have no idea what to do. I am so terrified I’m going to screw up and make him hate me.

Frank loves me. He loves me. This hidden form of perfection is in love with me, the biggest waste of flesh with every flaw imaginable. I was loved and not just by my family—which even then I question sometimes. I felt him drift off to sleep; we were sleeping together. Not that kind of sleeping together but just sleeping.

I know everything is taking its toll on him, I know it is. I’ve never been so in tune with another person before, not like I am with Frankie. I know my ma’s going to freak out on me when I go home tomorrow, or today depending on what time it is. He’s worth it though. He’s worth so much and he doesn’t even know it.

I watched the sunrise through his massive bedroom windows; it really was a beautiful sight. However, looking down at the beautiful boy in my arms—he’s much more beautiful. I wish I knew just what to do to make him feel better, to make him realize how amazing he really is.

Have you ever made a list of things you want in someone? A list of traits, attributes and such, things that the one person you’d spend the rest of your life with, you want them to have? I never have but I think if I ever did, Frank would meet every single item on that list. I’ve never felt this way before.

I’m terrified, not of what I feel, but I meant it when I said that this is all a dream. My luck doesn’t work how it has with Frank, not at all. Something’s going to go wrong, I know it is. Things are going so smoothly for us—something has to go wrong. He and I aren’t blessed with good luck.

Sure things go well for a while but something happens to cause everything to come crashing down around us and I’m waiting for that moment to come. I hope I didn’t hurt his feelings too much when I stopped what probably would’ve been an amazing make-out session. I just wanted to be with him, not letting things happen that shouldn’t happen so soon—only for comfort too.

I’ve never liked his mom; I have this knack for being able to read people and she’s someone who struck me off the moment I met her. She’s not that great a friend to my ma; I know if my dad kicked my ma out, Linda wouldn’t take my mother in like we took her in last night.

I think my mom really should kick my dad out, he’s a bastard. He cheats on her, not bothering to cover up the evidence. Does he expect her to just up and leave? Its uncanny how much Frank and I are alike. We’ve both, well I’ve dealt with it and he’s dealing with it—living the plague of popularity.

Our parents fake their happy marriage, only one choosing to actually care about their child, in my case children. He reads me so easily too. He can just look at me and it seems like he knows everything. My every though, my every feeling; I can do the same in return.

I looked down at him; I had to tell him right now. I don’t think I could wait till he woke up. I kissed his forehead, then his nose and finally placing my lips atop his own. Moving them as one, I smiled into his as I felt him respond. I pulled away, looking down into his beautiful orbs.

“I couldn’t wait to tell you and I wanted you to know something. I don’t think I love you anymore, I know I do. I love you.”