Always.

"Well if you are going to go then why should I?" Gabe asked and I knew he should just drop it by the look on Brendon's face but telling Gabe to do something is impossible.

"Just go." Brendon said rolling his eyes.

"Why?!" Gabe said trying not to laugh which confused me. I didn't find it at all funny.

Brendon glared at him and he spoke once more. the kid can't shut up, "Man oh man jealousy isn't attractive Bren."

"Why does everyone keep saying that!" Brendon asked aggravated I could tell as he pulled on the side of his hair.

"Because you are. Dude, if you'd admit it I'd just back off." Gabe said and I groaned as I placed my hand over my eyes as I shook my head.

"Why would I be?!"

"You like her, right? I mean, seems like that." He said so calmly and I removed my hands to look at Brendon. He stood there staring at us apparently in thought.

He finally let out a small laugh before speaking, "you know, I love how everyone assumes I'm jealous but then figures it is appropriate to ask if I like her. Makes no since to me." He said shaking his head and Gabe shrugged.

"But you know what? am I jealous? yes! ok, yes I am! why? Because I don't just like her. I love her. There. Now everyone can go back to their pathetic lives and leave mine alone!" he said loudly as he walked to the back room and slammed the door.

Gabe and I stood there alone and in silence as my heart began beating out of my chest. Although it wasn't the way I imagined him saying it, the words that left his mouth caused butterflies to hit my stomach.

"Damn. Well, I think that's as clear of an answer you'll ever get." He finally said and I groaned in agony.

"Now you have to talk to him." I heard and turned around to see Ryan with a serious look on his face.

I bit my lip and Gabe patted my head, "well my work is done. Have fun wit that. Good luck."

"Why me." I whined as I hesitatingly went to the door that was just slammed. I breathed in heavily before opening the door slowly.

"Bren?" I said softly as I took a step in.

"What?" he mumbled as I closed the door behind me.

I sighed and sat beside him on the couch and he turned his ipod up louder as he stared at the wall. Why he was so mad I didn't get it. yes, Gabe shouldn't have done what he did but wasn't that insignificant to what was just admitted?

"Bren..." I said brushing his hair from his eyes.

"Funny how its always me being the emotional one since I can't get a single emotion from you." He mumbled and I pulled his ipod from him and turned it off.

"What do you want Em? Honestly, just tell me so I can go ahead and say it." He said turning to look at me.

I ignored his words as I focused on my fingers that ran over his jaw. He closed his eyes as I traced my fingers down his cheek and over his perfect lips. Then again, there was nothing on this boy I didn't find perfect.

"This is really unfair." He said opening his eyes and grabbing my hand from his face softly.

"I mean you expect so much from me and I get nothing in return." He said his dark eyes landing on mine.

"What are you talking about? I don't expect nothing from you."

"Yes you do Emma! You expect me to react and if I don't you do things like get Gabe to make me jealous! And don't you dare say that wasn't it and I mean, Emma... fuck, I can't even get you to yell at me and when I tried to kiss you at Ryan's that time you shot me down. So how can you expect that from me?" he asked and I could tell he was frustrated.

I bit my lip as he sat my hand down in my lap, "and yeah I do love you. I don't know why but I do. But I can't be with you. You already drive me mad! I can't imagine being in a relationship with you. I'd be mental!"

"I don't get why you didn't let me leave yesterday then Brendon." I said as I felt my need to cry rise and I stood up.

"because I don't want you to."

"So you don't want me to stay but you don't want me to go? Wow. And I'm the confused one."

He sighed, "no. I don't want you to go Emma..."

"Then what do you want Brendon?!" I asked throwing my hands up as a few tears escaped my eyes.

"Because I'm leaving. Ok. I'm just going to go. I can't deal with this." I said wiping my tears quickly.

"Home?"

"No to the moon yes to fucking home Brendon." I said trying to control the sobs that started pulling through.

"No. No. Don't." He said standing up from the couch quickly as I pulled Gabe's sunglasses on.

"Hey...come here..." he whispered grabbing my hand and pulling me to him.

"Hey..." he said softly as he wrapped his arm around my waist and pushed the glasses up to my head with the other.

"I'm sorry." He whispered his finger tips brushing my tears away.

"I'm going home. " I said and he cupped my cheek, "no, you're not."

"Yes. You should be happy! You got me to cry." I said pushing away from him.

"Not what I wanted. Stop getting defensive." He said calmly as he held on to me not letting me go.

"Let me go Brendon." I said sternly and he sighed as he dropped his arms slowly.

"Promise I'll be out of your house when you get home." I said with a weak grin before leaving the room quickly and going to my suitcase.

"No Emma this isn't what I want." He said following my every step.

"Yeah? Well I don't care what you want Brendon. I just want away from you." I said throwing things in my bag and zipping it up quickly.

"What's going on?!" I heard Ryan shout.

"She's leaving..." he said with a tone of disbelief. Really?! I mean it wasn't that hard to believe. When your hearts been stomped on it seems logical to me.

"What?!"

I ignored him as I googled the number of a taxi in this area on my phone.

"Emma...come on..."

"No! Stop! I'm going, no one is stopping me. It's done." I said grabbing my bag and things from my bunk.

"So like that. You're going to go?" Brendon asked and I stopped at the door of the bus.

"Seems that way yeah? You should thank me actually. I mean this way you can stay sane and don't have to see me and I don't have to stay and pretend like I feel nothing for you." I said before leaving the bus.

I sighed as I was hit with fresh air and dialed the number to the taxi service. Once I told them where I was I sat on my suitcase with a sigh. So he loved me but didn't want to be with me? I just don't get it. After about five minutes of waiting and over thinking everything someone spoke causing me to jump a bit.

"You're leaving aye? They sent me to stop you." Gabe said sitting beside me.

"It's done. I'm over it. I don't want to see him ever again."

"What happened? I thought he loved you?" he asked seriously.

I shrugged, "who knows what goes through his head."

He sighed, "fine go home but if you stop talking to me I'll find you and hurt you."

I laughed softly, "I won't. Promise." I said hugging him from the side. Gabe sat with me until the taxi arrived and even put my stuff in the trunk. He's really a sweet guy if I wasn't in love with an idiot I'd like Gabe.

"Please call or something so I know you're home safely." He said hugging me.

"I will. Kick ass tonight."

"I will for you. Be safe." He said kissing my forehead and I waved as I got in and headed to the airport. Now I'd have to face my parents which was something I dreaded more than seeing Brendon. Once I arrived back at home, well Brendon's house, I texted Gabe telling him I made it and then I made the dreaded call to my dad as I started packing things up.

"Daddy?" I said hesitantly as he picked up.

"Emma." He said sounding relieved that I called.

"I wanna come home." I said feeling tears fall because knowing I had to hurt the most.

He sighed, "Emma. You can come home but there will be rules."

"I know." I said sniffling.

"We will talk about it in the morning. Get some sleep."

"Ok. Love you."

"Love you too sweetheart."

I hung up and busted into tears. Tears from Brendon, from having to move back to that hell hole and tears from me being so ignorant. I managed to finish packing and crawl into bed around 3 in the morning. Lord only knows what tomorrow held in store for me.