An Introspective Connection

"Come on, Tommy! The new family's just moved in, and we have got to welcome them somehow. I'm thinking you and I should make some cookies!" I rolled over and shut my eyes tight. "Meh... Get out, mom... I don't want to meet that stupid family." I opened my eyes and looked over at my doorway and at my mom. She sighed. "Get up, Tommy. You're coming with me. They have a son. He looks your age." My eyes widened. This new family suddenly got a lot more interesting. "Say what? Really? A son? He looks 14? What's he look like? Is he cute?" I noticed that I sounded very desperate, so I paused and took a deep breath. Mom laughed softly.

"Honey," She said quietly, walking in and sitting on my bed. "Honey, you've got NO idea. He's probably the cutest boy I've seen in my entire life." I sighed happily. "Really? No fooling? He's really cute?" Mom nodded and smiled. I smiled but then I realized how my entire plan could get ruined now. "Does he look like... You know... Like he'd like boys?" Mom looked at me. "I don't know, honestly. He packed in a Boy George poster, a Queen poster, and then a Journey poster. It could go either way."

I nodded and sat up in my bed. I looked around my room. Pictures of me, mom, and dad hanging on my walls along with pictures of me in my old Halloween costumes. The picture of me dressed as a dinosaur when I was 3. Batman when I was 4. A cowboy when I was 5. An astronaut when I was 6. Batman again at age 7. Spider-Man at 8.

The gap between the years I was 9, 10, 11, and 12, when I got sick every year. Then the picture from last year. My last year trick-or-treating. Age 13. I was a sailor. Not the cute little kid kind of sailor costume that mothers often want to put their sons in. The gay boy kind of sailor. Last year was when I finally decided to tell everyone that I was gay. I sighed and flopped backwards on my pillow. Mom turned around to look at me. "What's wrong, honey?"

I bit my bottom lip. "Mom, I'm really not comfortable with who I am." She looked at me. "Why not?" I sighed again. "It's this whole me being gay thing. Do you understand how many times I get told daily, weekly, and monthly that I'm going to burn in Hell for my the way that I am? It's not my fault! They act like I just decided one day that I wanted to be ridiculed and tortured over liking boys, so I started to like boys. They think that I can just magically wake up one day and say 'Well, huh! I'm just going to like girls now. Boys aren't my style after all.' Mom, they don't even TRY to give me a chance!" I covered my face up with my arms. I hate that I'm so fucking sensitive. I cry over everything anymore.

Mom came back to my bed and stroked my hair. "Honey, I know. I know... People are cruel. They really are." She talked to me softly, and calmed me down. I wiped the last tears from my eyes and sat up in bed. "I'm gonna straighten my hair, throw on my cutest outfit, and put on my make up. I should be... 45 minutes. Is that fine?" Mom nodded. "Yeah. And just as soon as you get done, we'll make these cookies. Sound good?" I nodded back at mom. "That sounds perfect." I smiled and she left. I followed her to the door, shut it, and then walked over to my dresser.

I plugged in my black, pink, and white paisley straightener and walked over to my closet. "Hm... What to wear, what to wear?" I snapped my fingers as I realized exactly what I wanted to wear. "My new black skinny jeans, and my new purple polo shirt. Duh! Why didn't I think of it earlier?" I grabbed them and threw them on my bed. I stripped off my shirt and my pants and then grabbed my clean clothes. I smelled them. "Ah... Still have that new-clothes smell."

I pulled my feet through the leg holes in my skinny jeans and pulled them halfway up my thighs. "Ugh. Now I know why they're called SKINNY jeans." I hopped up and down and jerked at my pants. They finally went over my butt and I buttoned them. I walked over to my mirror and turned sideways. I rubbed my butt and smiled in the mirror. "God, I'd never noticed how big a butt I have. It's like... Huge." I said to myself. I laughed and grabbed my straightener. "Ow!" I looked down at where the straightener had hit my bare chest.

"Honey, you all right?" I heard my mom yell from the kitchen. "Yeah, I'm fine! I just dropped my straightener on my chest!" Mom laughed and yelled back to me. "Didn't I tell you not to straighten your hair without a shirt on?" I laughed. "Yeah, I know you did! I just, you know, love to look at myself." I picked my straightener up, straightened my bangs, and finally got them to lay the way I wanted them to. I stared in my mirror at my face. I looked at myself, and looked at myself, and looked at myself. "I really am beautiful. In my own way, I'm beautiful. 'God makes no mistakes.' If there was a God, that'd be exactly what I'd say." I laughed and grabbed my eyeliner.

"Mom, should I wear purple or black eyeliner?" "What color is your shirt?" She yelled up at me. "Uh, it's that purple polo I bought the other day!" "Oh, the purple then! Definitely the purple!" I threw on my purple eyeliner, pulled my shirt on and went downstairs. Mother and I made the sugar cookies and packaged them up. I took one more peek in the mirror and fixed my blonde hair. "You look fine, honey. Come on. You'll never know about that boy if you don't come on and meet him!" I laughed and grabbed the house keys. Mom walked out and I followed. I shut the door and locked it up.

I looked at mom and smiled. "I'll never know if I don't try, right?" Mom smiled back and put her arm around me. "Right." We walked up to the house and I knocked on the door. From inside the house a "Coming!" could be heard from what sounded like a very sweet person. The handle turned, the door opened, and I was face to face with the most beautiful person I'd ever seen.

"Uh... Um, I'm, uh... I'm..." Mom nudged my side. "Tommy Joe Ratliff. I'm your neighbor." The boy looked me from my head to my toes. "Well hello there, Tommy." He held out his hand for me to shake, which I gladly took. "I'm Adam Mitchell Lambert. It's a pleasure to meet you. Would you like to come in?"