Don't Be in the Bath When Opportunity Knocks
Your Place or Mine?
When you got it, flaunt it
Step right up and strut your stuff
People tell you modesty's a virtue
But in the theater modesty can hurt you
When you got it, flaunt it
Show your assets let 'em know you're proud
Your goodies you must push
Stick your chest out, shake your tush
When you got it, shout it out loud!
***
Three weeks passed and Tre didn't say anything more about Audrey's 'career'. He'd been playing steadily with Green Day and was making pretty descent money. If you can call 25 bucks descent money. It was better than the norm of 10 bucks and pizza or beer. He'd grown even more fond of Audrey, secretly hoping he'd walk in after a gig to find her spread out naked on the couch waiting for him to come home so they could have kinky bondage sex. But that hadn't happened. Yet. He could still hope.
He'd become quite close with Mike and Billie Joe. It was good to have friends your age with your same interests. He hung out with them almost every day, after they got home from school, or when they cut. It was mostly Billie Joe who cut. Mike, for some reason, took school more seriously. Rumor had it that he was planning on actually graduating, whereas Billie was trying to stick it out long enough until his mother would sign his dropout paper.
"Man, you are so lucky," Billie Joe said to Tre as the three of them sat on the floor of the garage. The couch that had been in there belonged to Billie's sister and she had taken to her new place.
"Why?" Tre asked.
"You don't have to go to school," Mike said, holding up his first finger.
"You live with really hot chick," Billie held up his finger next to Mike's.
"Yeah, which must mean your getting some pretty regular ass," Mike said holding up another. "Which is more than I can say."
"Tell me about it," Billie laughed.
Tre shook his head. "I haven't gotten any that I didn't give myself."
All three of them giggled.
"It's odd. She kisses me on the head and nose and stuff, but I think it's more of a motherly thing. Which totally sucks, 'cause, as mentioned before, she's really hot."
"That is weird," Mike agreed. "Why do girls do that?"
"I have no idea. And it totally sucks, because, and I don't know how, but they can so tell when you like them," Billie said.
"Yeah," Tre said sighing.
"What are we gonna do?" Mike said, rubbing the back of his neck.
"I don't know," Billie sighed.
"Let's just drive around and see what we come up on," Tre suggested.
"Yeah, okay,"Mike shrugged. "We can take my truck."
The three of them piled into the truck, Tre in the middle.
"Why do I have to be in the middle?" Tre demanded.
"Because you're smallest," Billie Joe said.
"He really enjoys saying that," Mike said. They all laughed because they knew it was true.
They drove around for a good while, talking about random shit and listening to the radio.
"You do so look older than the rest of us," Billie said, reaching over Tre and jabbing Mike.
"Whatever." Mike replied.
"That's not a bad thing," Tre said. "You can buy beer and stuff."
"No I can't," Mike looked at him sideways.
"Bet you could," Tre giggled.
"How much?"
Tre thought a minute. "My pay from the next gig."
"Really?" the offer had piqued Mike's interest.
"Yeah," Billie said. "Do it, Mike!"
Mike pulled over at a convenience store and said, "I'll be right back."
They watched him go into the store.
"Oh man, he's really doing it!" Tre giggled.
"He won't make it out of there with anything," Billie shook his head.
Five minutes later, Mike came running out of the store with a six pack.
"DUDE!" Tre shrieked.
"I can't believe you actually did it!" Billie chuckled, grabbing Mike's arm.
"I know!" Mike giggled.
"Jeez, what else can you do?" Tre giggled too.
"I think I could get beer," Billie said, semi-pouting.
"You look like an eight year old," Mike said, cocking an eyebrow at him.
"Do not," Billie argued.
"We should all try and do something," Tre offered.
"Yeah, but what?" Mike said, biting his lip.
"I know!" Billie said.
The truck pulled up to The Kitty Kat Klub, in a kind of seedy part of Berkeley.
"Oh my god, I can't believe we're doing this," Billie giggled maniacally.
"Shh, shh," Tre giggled, holding a finger to his lips. "They'll never let us in if we're all giggly and high-like."
"Okay, Okay," Mike brushed a hand through his hair. "We're calm now."
The three of them burst into giggle fits.
"Okay, everyone shut it," Billie said, settling himself down.
They got out of the truck and attempted to saunter over to the door nonchalantly.
Tre got a case of the giggles again and Billie smacked him to make him stop. They collected themselves before approaching the bouncer.
"Hey," Mike said trying to sound like he was over 21. The bouncer glared at him and looked the other two up and down.
"Go ahead," he said, ushering them through the door.
"OH MY GOD," Billie shrieked into Mike's shoulder. "I can't believe we all got in!"
"Dude, tell me about it!' Tre was smacking Billie's arm over and over.
"Okay," Mike said, and they collected themselves. Again.
It was a visceral wonderland of half naked girls twirling around poles and sitting in private booths with assorted very creepy men.
"Hey, babyface," A girl in a pink bustier said, touching Billie Joe's arm and attempting to pull him away from the group.
"Uh, h-h-hey," he stammered not taking his eyes off her chest.
"I see the three of you are together," she said. "My name is Roxi. I think I know the perfect girl for you." She lead them over to a booth. "How much do you have?"
"Huh?" Tre said also staring at her chest. She batted false eyelashes at him.
"How much dough, sugar."
"Oh, we have enough," Mike said.
"Well, aren't you in charge?" she ran a manicured finger under his chin and up the side of his face.
"Uh, well, I-" he stuttered. Roxi laughed.
"I'll go get her."
She walked away and the three of them watched her ass so hard it's quite amazing it didn't burst into flames. They could see her conversing with another girl with long hair that looked green under the neon lights in the club. The girl went off to the left, out of their sight. A few seconds later, a voice came from behind them.
"Hey boys, I heard you would be- TRE!?"
Step right up and strut your stuff
People tell you modesty's a virtue
But in the theater modesty can hurt you
When you got it, flaunt it
Show your assets let 'em know you're proud
Your goodies you must push
Stick your chest out, shake your tush
When you got it, shout it out loud!
***
Three weeks passed and Tre didn't say anything more about Audrey's 'career'. He'd been playing steadily with Green Day and was making pretty descent money. If you can call 25 bucks descent money. It was better than the norm of 10 bucks and pizza or beer. He'd grown even more fond of Audrey, secretly hoping he'd walk in after a gig to find her spread out naked on the couch waiting for him to come home so they could have kinky bondage sex. But that hadn't happened. Yet. He could still hope.
He'd become quite close with Mike and Billie Joe. It was good to have friends your age with your same interests. He hung out with them almost every day, after they got home from school, or when they cut. It was mostly Billie Joe who cut. Mike, for some reason, took school more seriously. Rumor had it that he was planning on actually graduating, whereas Billie was trying to stick it out long enough until his mother would sign his dropout paper.
"Man, you are so lucky," Billie Joe said to Tre as the three of them sat on the floor of the garage. The couch that had been in there belonged to Billie's sister and she had taken to her new place.
"Why?" Tre asked.
"You don't have to go to school," Mike said, holding up his first finger.
"You live with really hot chick," Billie held up his finger next to Mike's.
"Yeah, which must mean your getting some pretty regular ass," Mike said holding up another. "Which is more than I can say."
"Tell me about it," Billie laughed.
Tre shook his head. "I haven't gotten any that I didn't give myself."
All three of them giggled.
"It's odd. She kisses me on the head and nose and stuff, but I think it's more of a motherly thing. Which totally sucks, 'cause, as mentioned before, she's really hot."
"That is weird," Mike agreed. "Why do girls do that?"
"I have no idea. And it totally sucks, because, and I don't know how, but they can so tell when you like them," Billie said.
"Yeah," Tre said sighing.
"What are we gonna do?" Mike said, rubbing the back of his neck.
"I don't know," Billie sighed.
"Let's just drive around and see what we come up on," Tre suggested.
"Yeah, okay,"Mike shrugged. "We can take my truck."
The three of them piled into the truck, Tre in the middle.
"Why do I have to be in the middle?" Tre demanded.
"Because you're smallest," Billie Joe said.
"He really enjoys saying that," Mike said. They all laughed because they knew it was true.
They drove around for a good while, talking about random shit and listening to the radio.
"You do so look older than the rest of us," Billie said, reaching over Tre and jabbing Mike.
"Whatever." Mike replied.
"That's not a bad thing," Tre said. "You can buy beer and stuff."
"No I can't," Mike looked at him sideways.
"Bet you could," Tre giggled.
"How much?"
Tre thought a minute. "My pay from the next gig."
"Really?" the offer had piqued Mike's interest.
"Yeah," Billie said. "Do it, Mike!"
Mike pulled over at a convenience store and said, "I'll be right back."
They watched him go into the store.
"Oh man, he's really doing it!" Tre giggled.
"He won't make it out of there with anything," Billie shook his head.
Five minutes later, Mike came running out of the store with a six pack.
"DUDE!" Tre shrieked.
"I can't believe you actually did it!" Billie chuckled, grabbing Mike's arm.
"I know!" Mike giggled.
"Jeez, what else can you do?" Tre giggled too.
"I think I could get beer," Billie said, semi-pouting.
"You look like an eight year old," Mike said, cocking an eyebrow at him.
"Do not," Billie argued.
"We should all try and do something," Tre offered.
"Yeah, but what?" Mike said, biting his lip.
"I know!" Billie said.
The truck pulled up to The Kitty Kat Klub, in a kind of seedy part of Berkeley.
"Oh my god, I can't believe we're doing this," Billie giggled maniacally.
"Shh, shh," Tre giggled, holding a finger to his lips. "They'll never let us in if we're all giggly and high-like."
"Okay, Okay," Mike brushed a hand through his hair. "We're calm now."
The three of them burst into giggle fits.
"Okay, everyone shut it," Billie said, settling himself down.
They got out of the truck and attempted to saunter over to the door nonchalantly.
Tre got a case of the giggles again and Billie smacked him to make him stop. They collected themselves before approaching the bouncer.
"Hey," Mike said trying to sound like he was over 21. The bouncer glared at him and looked the other two up and down.
"Go ahead," he said, ushering them through the door.
"OH MY GOD," Billie shrieked into Mike's shoulder. "I can't believe we all got in!"
"Dude, tell me about it!' Tre was smacking Billie's arm over and over.
"Okay," Mike said, and they collected themselves. Again.
It was a visceral wonderland of half naked girls twirling around poles and sitting in private booths with assorted very creepy men.
"Hey, babyface," A girl in a pink bustier said, touching Billie Joe's arm and attempting to pull him away from the group.
"Uh, h-h-hey," he stammered not taking his eyes off her chest.
"I see the three of you are together," she said. "My name is Roxi. I think I know the perfect girl for you." She lead them over to a booth. "How much do you have?"
"Huh?" Tre said also staring at her chest. She batted false eyelashes at him.
"How much dough, sugar."
"Oh, we have enough," Mike said.
"Well, aren't you in charge?" she ran a manicured finger under his chin and up the side of his face.
"Uh, well, I-" he stuttered. Roxi laughed.
"I'll go get her."
She walked away and the three of them watched her ass so hard it's quite amazing it didn't burst into flames. They could see her conversing with another girl with long hair that looked green under the neon lights in the club. The girl went off to the left, out of their sight. A few seconds later, a voice came from behind them.
"Hey boys, I heard you would be- TRE!?"