Words, Wars, and Symphonies

What was that? Why did he kiss me? He doesn't understand me and Ryan going out yet, does he?

“BRENDON!!!” Ryan stormed over. Oh no.

“Oh.... I'm so sorry Lainey. I'm sorry Ryan,” Brendon was clearly sorry.

He walked away with his head down. Ryan went after him and grabbed Brendon's arm fiercely.

“You kiss her like that and walk away?!?! I can't believe you! Especially since I'm your friend and I'm DATING her!!!!” Ryan scared Brendon. I could tell.

“Ryan, I am SO sorry! I don't know what exactly was happening when I... kissed her! I just did! Please, just let me be alone for a second or two. I feel terrible.” I felt bad for Brendon. He looked like he was on the verge of tears.

Seeing the two of them like that was so depressing. I had to look away.

I could still hear Ryan yelling obscene profanities at Brendon and Brendon pleading forgiveness.

I heard a loud thwap and a yelp. I turned around cautiously, fearing what I would soon face.

Brendon was on the ground, eyes closed, limbs sprawled. I think he was unconscious. Ryan was sitting on the side of the road with his head in his hands, crying. Jon and Spencer were in shock. I was scared for Ryan and Brendon. My poor babies.

Spencer rushed over to Brendon and carried him into the kitchen to clean up his wound. I followed.

Spencer and Jon cleaned up Brendon's face where it hit the pavement. I went back outside to see Ryan. Still there. Good. I was afraid he would have run off.

“Ryan, hey baby,” I said. It's difficult for me to show affection. Hard to show what you never had....

He wept even more. “I'm so sorry, Lainey! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry...” he couldn't control the tears streaming down his face. I know he would, but he couldn't.

“Ryan, I don't want to say 'it's okay', because baby, it isn't. But please, forgive yourself! It was adrenaline is all. I know you never would have done that to Brendon on purpose. Not saying it was an accident, but.... well, wait, was it? I mean, I wouldn't know if it was, but you would and I can't stop talking I'm making a fool of myself...” I continued my mindless babbling.

I heard a small chuckle escape from his mouth. I stopped babbling. Was he laughing at me? Did I really make him feel better? I wasn't sure if I wanted him to feel guilty or happy. I didn't want him to feel bad about this because he was my Sweety, but I certainly didn't want him to feel happy. He just punched out Brendon! But he's my boyfriend. Boyfriend. Wow. Wait, why am I talking about what I want him to feel like? How incredibly selfish of me. I felt too many emotions come over me at once. This was too much! I needed to leave. I needed Ryan to hold me. I needed someone to hold me. I grabbed Ryan by the hand and asked him to take me home. It was almost 4. I needed to call Jessica and tell her I would be a little bit late. Oh, she's going to freak out. I'll deal, though.

We both went into the kitchen to see Brendon still unconscious. I said bye to Jon and Spencer and gave them each a hug. I bent down in front of Brendon and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. I think I saw his eyelids flutter a bit. Just like in all of those movies.

Ryan put his arm around my waist and we walked out the front door. When we got into the car I scooted into the middle front seat. I wanted to hold onto him. All was quiet on the way to my room with Jessica, except for the faint sound of music playing on the radio. I listened closer. “20 Dollar Nose Bleed”. Way too ironic. I changed it to whatever CD was in. I heard “If you're on the shore then you're sure not me, oh”. The Lonely Island. Nice. I smiled at Ryan. He smiled back. I only wish I could stay with him forever.

“Ryan, you didn't want me to tell Jessica about you and the guys, right?” I still didn't know. He never gave me a straightforward answer.

“You can later in the relationship. We'll see how it goes.” That sounds like... could he... I... can't breathe.

“Lainey! Are you alright?!” He pulled over. “Babe, what's going on? Do I need to call 9-1-1?! Oh my god, Babe, you're hyperventilating! Don't worry honey, I won't leave you.” I felt his hand grace the side of my cheek.

My breathing slowly went back to normal. He said he wouldn't leave me. Silly as it may seem, that really is all I needed to hear. I insisted I was fine. I could see the worry in his eyes. You don't need to tell me. I know there's something wrong with me.

We drove the rest of the way with The Lonely Island blasting through the car. I could tell he was nervous by the way he kept glancing over at me. Just a few more minutes until I see Jessica. Man, I can't wait.