Glitter in the Air

I sat on the bed closest to the bathroom, where Jake was currently hiding out like a girl, calling Zack. I refused to call him my father, I knew what a father was, and Zack definitely didn't fit into any of those categories. I didn't understand why Jake was so hellbent on us two getting to know each other. I didn't [i[want to get to know Zack. Whether he was my father or not.

A few moments later, Jake walked out of the bathroom with a smile playing around his mouth. I could see in his eyes he was pleased with himself.

"Someone looks mighty proud of themselves." I stated sourly.

Jake looked over at me, rolling his eyes slightly. "Why are you being so immature about this Hope? You [i[know this is my job, I have about as much control over this situation as you do."

I threw myself backwards, now laying on the bed. He had a point, but I wasn't about to admit that out loud. I heard Jake sigh, then his footsteps as he walked over to where I was. He laid down on the bed next to me, wrapping his arm around my neck.

"You know I love you Hope. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't think it was for the best. And you might not see it now, but I really do think this is going to benefit you in the end. You need a stable home, and I can see that your father, Zack, only has your best intentions in mind." He tried explaining to me, pulling me closer to his side.

"I know, it's just hard. Try seeing it from my point of view for a minute. He was the one that left my mother, causing her to turn to drugs. He basically is the one who made my life the way it was. And I know that him leaving and then pushing her away causing her to turn to drugs isn't totally his fault, but I really do feel justified in blaming him for that. Ever since the night when my Mom took me to see him. That was when she started you know?" I told him, trying to get him to see where I was coming from. I knew he had a valid point, but so did I.

"I know, and I do understand where you're coming from sweetheart." He murmured, sounding sleepy. I heard him yawn and I snuggled closer into his side, wrapping my arm around his middle.

I could remember nights when he would come pick me up from a local park because I didn't want to be home and spending the night, curled up into his side. Jake has always been like a protective older brother to me. He was assigned my case fresh out of college and had taken care of me like family. He put up with my mood swings, and offered me guidance and advice when I needed it. I considered him to be more family than anyone else that was actually blood related.

I heard Jakes breathing even out during my thinking, letting me know he had fallen asleep. I looked up at his face, he looked tired, worn out even. I'd have to start taking it easier on him. I knew that none of this was his fault, it was just easier to blame the person pushing you into situations isn't it? I laid my head onto his chest, and closed my eyes.

* * *

I was back in my old room. How did I get back here? I was in California, not Pennsylvania. I could hear someone yelling, who was yelling? I think they were calling my name. They didn't sound angry. Why were they yelling? I walked out of my room and into the small living room, and stopped when I saw someone sitting on the couch, their back facing me. It looked like my Mother. This is a dream right? It had to be a dream.

"This is no dream Hope. You left me here." She accused me, jumping up and turning to face me. "You let me die!" She howled.

I jumped back a few steps when she did. "N-No, you died because of the drugs. You overdosed." I managed to stutter out. Not being able to tear my eyes away from her. Her skin was an almost blue color, rotting and peeling in certain places. Her eyes were sunk in and cloudy, and her once beautiful hair was caked with mud in some places and falling out in others, leaving bald patches along her scalp.

"This is your fault!" she screamed at me, "If you had never come along Zack would still love me! He would still be here with me, none of this would have happened! He left because of you! My life was perfect until you!" I spat out at me, taking strides towards me, her hand raised as if she was going to hit me.

"What's wrong Hope? Scared?" She asked cynically.

"Hope? Hope!" Someones voice woke me up, they were shaking me slightly. I shot up and looked around, I was back in California, and Jake was here with me. Jake.

"Hope, honey are you okay?" Jake asked, sitting up next to me, he was watching me with cautious eyes.

I nodded silently, throwing my arms back around his torso and hugging him. He just sat there, shicked for a moment before wrapping his arms around me as well. Petting my hair gently. He knew better than to ask me about it right now.

Maybe this therapy really will do me some good.