Meet the Band: Song For You

Song’s heart was pounding as he watched Merideth disappear into the back rooms of the studio to change. He could feel it jumping against his palm. This was so . . . different. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t had a girlfriend before, but this was stronger than the like he’d experienced before. This was just . . . more.
Jun, still in his first costume, thumped a hand on his friend’s shoulder, whistling through his teeth. “Wow, man,” he said in Korean. “What was that about?”
“Hmm?” Song asked absently, still watching the place where Merideth had disappeared from.
“Song,” Jin said with more force. When Song finally looked at him, Jun was looking at him with concern. “What’s wrong?”
Song’s head jerked back. “N-Nothing! Why would something be wrong?”
Jun looked pointedly at Song’s chest. “Because you’ve been rubbing your chest for the past five minutes and looking like you want to cry.”
Song’s eyes widened and he forced his hand back to his side. His heart hurt, but he wasn’t about to let Jin know all the questions running through his head. Why had she run from him? Why had she looked so scared? He didn’t want her to look that way, especially not at him, and definitely not because of him. What was it that had scared her? What had she seen? Why hadn’t she been that way with any of the others Did she hate him?
“Aiish,” Jin hissed, wrinkling his nose. “That’s a scary expression.”
Song shook off Jin’s hand and stormed past him and towards the dressing rooms. Whatever was going on, he was going to figure it out. He was going to have to do more studying in English so that he could figure it all out, but losing a little more sleep was worth it if he could talk to Merideth more. First, though, he had to finish this photo-shoot.



I inhaled deeply, steadying myself before letting Sarah know I was ready to start the second set. I was going to have to change after every shoot, so that was a bother, but now I was just trying to ready my emotions. Steel them was more like it. I was a sucker for men acting sweet. When they were gorgeous men, it was even worse. Tammy would laugh her ass off watching this.
I straightened from where I’d leaned over the refreshment table, careful of the many wires and cables taped and littering the ground. This time, for my hair, the stylist had left it down, softened it and kept it straight. My makeup was miniscule compared to how much they had put on my before. My eyes had been lined with a nice brown liner and lightly shadowed at the corners with brown powder as well. They had put a shiny lipgloss on that made them a pink sort of color. I hated lipgloss almost as much as I hated pink. However, my dress was just above knee length in a flowing material that had cap sleeves, a straight neckline, the back cut out and was in a weird mismatched print of polka dots and stripes. It looked cool, but it was a little too bold for my taste and, even in the pastel colors with the nude pumps, it didn’t exactly say “sweet” to me. Then again, Juil’s look didn’t spell “sweet” either.
Instead of the pastel pallet I had, Juil had on a multicolored blazer with royal blue, red and black bleeding together on a white backdrop in vertical pattern with the sleeves pushed up to the elbow. His pants were a shiny white, looking almost like leather, but obviously not being so. The shirt he had underneath the blazer was just a regular tee in white with black writing cover the whole front. His shoes were white and clunky and looked like combat boots made out of sneaker material. Topping that off was an assortment of black-studded leather and white-leather bands on both wrists and two rings—one on each hand—with a black and silver, simple necklace of a long, curved bar.
His makeup was gone and they had taken the pins out of his hair, letting it fall down, but they had crimped it for a sort of frizzy look. He looked adorable and confident, completely the opposite of how he acted in really like. Well, the way he acted so far. I was starting to wonder if his innocence was all an act.
He smiled brightly at me. “Ready, Merideth?”
At ease because—well, it was Juil, I nodded, offering a smile. “Ready.”
Is smile grew and his eyes twinkled as he watched me, waiting for Sarah’s okay to start.
“Alright, kids!” Sarah called. “Remember the theme is ‘sweet’ this time. Ready . . . and go!”
Falling back into that fantasy of love with Juil was easy; switching it to “sweet” was the hard part. It was simple enough to want to monopolize him, but what would I do that was sweet with this boy? He was so young and seemed so malleable. It just made me want to manipulate him. Anything else just didn’t seem to work. There was no scenario I could think of where I didn’t end up as a possessive sadist.
“Merideth,” Sarah groaned, obviously annoyed. “What exactly are you thinking? I know you’re new to this, but seriously? Don’t look so damn confused. It’s like you don’t want Juil at all.”
I winced. Juil had definitely understood that—his crest-fallen expression proved it.
“You don’t want me?” he asked tearfully. He grabbed my hand with bot of his, his head down as he glanced at me through his bangs. I could distantly hear the shutter clicking, but I was too absorbed in Juil’s expression to give it much thought. “Don’t you like me?”
Worried he was going to cry, I forced my expression to go from worried and surprised to comforting. I smiled softly, raising my free hand to brush his cheek soothingly. “Of course I like you. Don’t worry about that, okay? I’ll always like you.”
“That’s good enough,” Sarah interrupted and I jumped when I found her standing right next to us. When in hell had she gotten there?!
Jul dropped my hand abruptly, turning my attention back to him and I blinked at his smiling face. He was completely back to normal. There were not tears, no hints of sadness at all. I had just been played like a harp by a sweet-faced teenager.
Angrily, I walked off stage and into my dressing room, changing into my next outfit.
That was Juil could so easily manipulate me like that just pissed me the hell off. I hated being toyed with the most and he hadn’t thought twice about it. It cemented my earlier suspicions about his innocence being a façade. Now, I was almost positive I was right.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I couldn’t let this affect my work. I’d already put them behind by being inexperienced. I couldn’t afford to screw up anymore. We were already an hour over the schedule and everyone had places they needed to be.
Sighing, I opened my door and stepped out into the throng of people. I spotted Juil, talking with a worried expression to Shin, but I ignored him even when he tried to get my attention. Instead, I walked calmly—or as calm as I was able—to Min, who was waiting for me on the set.
“Merideth,” a voice called and I stopped halfway to the set, redirecting my route to Terry.
Terry wasn’t exactly handsome or beautiful, but he was definitely far from ugly. He was just very interesting to look at. He had a long face and a rather pointy chin that off-set his wide mouth. Glasses rested on his nose—which was just as pointed as his chin—and they were square, modern, and clearly showed his crystal-blue eyes. He was wearing a suit as comfortably as if they were sweatpants and I had a feeling he never wore anything else. On the other hand, although his suit was pressed as stiff as his manners and he carried himself professionally, his middle-of-the-back-long hair tied back with a beaded ribbon made me question just how strict he was.
“Yes?” I asked when I stopped in front of him.
“Turn,” he ordered, uncrossing his arms. “You’re not zipped up all the way.”
Shocked, I spun, feeling his hands tug the zipper of the strapless, tool-made dress that was way too short for my liking the rest of the way up.
“Thanks,” I said, turning back to him.
He looked me up and down, his nose wrinkling slightly. “That is a God-awful color.”
I grinned, looking down at the greyish-pastel, pinkish-purple dress. “I know. I can’t believe people think this looks okay.”
“Looks good on you.”
My head shot up. I had heard a smile in his voice, but there was not one on his face. I had yet to see him smile and I wondered if he ever did, but I supposed it didn’t matter much.
“Uh, thanks. I think.” I frowned a little and went back to the set.
Opposite to the dirty-looking purple I had on, Min stood in a cream blazer with the sleeves rolled up to reveal the pop of striped turquoise used for the liner. His jeans were tight and white, but they dressed him down with a pair of plain white sneaker you could find anywhere. His shirt, though, was the punch. In horizontal stripes, grey sequins shone brightly under the lights, the black in between the thick sections standing out in dull contrast. With his hair soft and curling slightly and just a touch of makeup to enhance what he already had, I was guessing this would be the quorky-sweet picture. Especially because I was wearing untied combat boots instead of heels.
A crew member came over, wiped off my lipstick carefully and put new gloss on in a plum color. I licked my teeth when she was done, grossed out.
“Go for it, Min,” Sarah ordered, holding up her camera.
Min quirked a crooked smile at me. “That’s quite an outfit.”
I sniffed. “Yours isn’t exactly normal, either.”
His smirk turned into a smile as he came closer. “I never said I was normal.”
He surprised me by stepping behind me and linking his arms around my waist. I grabbed his biceps as he placed his cheek against mine.
“Besides,” he said and I wondered how he was so great at English and Song suck so bad. “Who wants to be normal when you get to wear dresses like this?”
At that, I laughed.
“Good one,” Sarah nodded, “but your clothes weren’t really shown, Min. I want another pose.”
She ended up settling for Min carrying me in a very bridal style and twirling us around. From which, he and I had to take a break or risk falling over from being too dizzy.
My third dress wasn’t a dress at all and I was grateful for that. With pale pink skinny jeans, I was back in heels again, but these were nice and low in a deep magenta that matched some of the flowers in the off-yellow, spaghetti-strapped shirt that flowed from the strap above my breasts until it ended, ruffling a little and showing my stomach. This was supposed to match with Shin and I almost wondered how when I spotted the white Valero jacket I’d missed.
When I met him on stage, that same girl came over, fussed with my makeup and left. I turned to Shin and nearly laughed.
“What?” he asked as another crew member finished up his makeup.
I shook my head, smiling. “Nothing.”
He frowned, obviously curious, but he didn’t ask.
I watched them touch him up, giving him a once-over. He was in a nice, normal pair of jeans, with a pair of brown dress shoes I had never seen before. His hair looked relaxed but professional but it was the diamond-patterned knit vest in taupe and black over the white button-up and black tie that did it. He looked like a cartoon’s depiction of a classical nerd. A really gorgeous nerd, but sill a nerd.
The crew member finally left and Sarah called for the okay, but Shin’s tie was crooked and it was seriously irritating. Annoyed, I walked over to him and began fixing it. The whole thing had been put on wrong. Didn’t anyone know how to tie a tie?
He swallowed. “You look pretty.”
I felt the irritation leave my face and I blushed. “O-Oh. Thank you. You look good, too.”
He smiled. “Not pretty?”
I snorted out a laugh. “Not exactly.”
“Okay!” Sarah called, shocking us. “That’s good for you two.”
“Really?” I asked, my brows high.
Sarah nodded, handing off her camera. “Yup. You’re doing better.” She grabbed a camera, flipped it over and then handed it to another assistant, picking up another. “Jinho! You’re next and you’d better be ready.”
“I’m ready!” he called, his voice playful.
The shoot with Jin was easy. In shorts and a bright teal top this time, he off-set me in a light blue button-up that needed a little more buttoning up and black skinny-jeans. We held hands again, but we faced each other this time, our foreheads together and laughing at the lollipop bouquet they had given us as a prop. Sarah had taken a close up then told me to pop my leg for the fill, waiting until we found something else to laugh at (which happened to be the image we conjured of Min with his hair dyed pink) before we were done. That left Song as my last partner.
A mixture of relief and anxiety filled me. Relief because, though I was okay in front of the camera now, I was glad it was almost over. The anxiety was because, no matter how much I tried to calm myself and how much I tried to remember that it was an illusion, I was terrified to act out any type of love with Song. It just scared the hell out of me and made me want to go running home to my dad, contract or no contract.
Duty, however, had me stepped out of the dressing room in a light, lacy, white dress I was guessing was a nightgown since I didn’t have shoes. My suspicions were confirmed when I saw a mattress being set up on the set and Sarah overseeing it all from a very tall ladder, camera in hand.
Song was standing off to the side in a loose white T-shirt and tan pants that were considered “men’s capris”, though part of the pants was rolled up to his knees, leaving his calves bare. He looked ready for bed and I couldn’t take my eyes off him even when the stage hand came over and rubbed off my makeup, redoing my whole face.
“He looks good in plain clothes, too, huh?” the said girl, speaking to me for the first time.
“Mmm,” I agreed absently then jerked as what she asked sank in. “Wait—what?”
“Don’t move that suddenly!” she reprimanded. “Sheesh. I almost poked your eye out.” She scowled, grabbing my chin to hold my face in place. “Song—he looks good, doesn’t he? I mean, it’s totally unfair for a man to look as sexy as he does in a T-shirt.”
I glanced at him. “I guess not.” Was it fair? I had no idea, but just looking at him lean against the table with his ankles crossed like that make my heart pound.
“I don’t know how you can get so close to them without fainting.” She let go of me. “There. All done.”
Without a word, she left, leaving me standing behind her, stunned.
Was it so shocking? Had I not acted normally? I guess I hadn’t. After all, any fan would scream and bombard their idol with questions if they happened to meet them. Even Tammy had acted that way, but I had barely been able to come up with a few questions. Maybe I really was a weirdo. It wouldn’t surprise me, to be honest, but it wasn’t exactly something I wanted to brag about.
“—deth. Merideth, Terry’s voice cut through my thoughts. He gave me a gentle, but firm push. “Get to the set. One more to go.”
I gave him worried eyes, my heart, my heart pounding painfully in my chest as I glanced from Song to the bed and back to him. “B-But I—“
“You’re doing fine,” he encouraged. “Don’t quit now. One more set of pictures and you’ll be the most talked about model in the world.”
My breath hitched and my head pounded along with my heart. Terry gave me another steady push towards the bed and I felt my breathing start to quicken, my hands starting to tingle. I could feel myself getting hot—and it wasn’t a good hot. Something was starting to freak me out. I was getting that same feeling I had when—
No. No. That person was gone. I never had to worry about them again . . . . Damn, the walls seemed awfully close somehow.



Song watched Merideth climb into the bed from the opposite side and his heart skipped a beat. She looked so vulnerable and feminine in the lacy nightgown. He wanted to cuddle with her almost as much as he wanted to ravish her, but he reminded himself that there were other people around. He couldn’t fall into the illusion that they were in a room alone together.
Song placed his knee on the pillow-less bed and watched Merideth’s head jerk up. Her eyes were a bit wild and, immediately, he knew something was wrong.
“Meri,” Song tried, reaching out apprehensively. He wanted to touch her, but he was afraid she’d break apart. “What’s wrong?”
She shook her head. “Nothing. Let’s get this over with.”
Rejection slammed into Song’s chest and he sucked in a breath as Merideth laid down, her back to him. He may not be able to speak English very well, but he knew damn well what she was saying. A little lost, he looked out to Jin, but his friend only offered a pitying look.
“Song,” Sarah called above him. He listened as the translator interpreted her words. “Lay down next to her and cuddle.”
Slowly—and more than a little worried—Song stretched out behind her and put his arm around her waist, burying his face in her neck. He took the opportunity to inhale her scent. Flowers. She always smelled like flowers and he loved it. What he didn’t love was the way she was curled into a ball much the same way he had found her in his hotel room.
“It’s okay,” he told her, forcing his arm between her knees and stomach. “Relax.” He was glad he knew that word from a Song they had done, but it didn’t seem to help much.
“Merideth!” Sarah shouted. “Loosen up! Don’t stiffen on me now. And turn on your back.”
With obvious hesitance, Merideth rolled over and stretched out. One of the wide straps of her gown had fallen down revealing her shoulder, but Song couldn’t bring herself to pull it back up. He was too busy watching her. She was nervous, that much was obvious, but it was her heavy breathing that made Song worry.
He placed a hand on her cheek, found it burning up and turned her to face him. “Me,” he said, his brows drawn tight. “Look me.”
Her expression turned confused and he made a frustrated noise, calling to the translator to speak for him as he tugged at Merideth’s arms.
“He wants you to turn on your side, miss,” the translator said. “And to look at him . . . He says to concentrate on his face and to breathe.”
With his heart beating so fast, it was hard to concentrate on helping, but Song pushed aside his desire to find out what was wrong, coddle and comfort her and focus on the shoot first. If he needed a translator for that, then so be it. He could be pissed later. For now, Merideth needed him—just like he had needed her in that elevator.
He placed his head on the sheets, facing her directly. Sliding his hand up to entwine their fingers, he entangled their feet, reaching out to brush her cheek before taking her other hand. He kissed the back and then pressed it against his chest.
“I nervous, too,” he told her, knowing she could feel his heart beating quickly. He felt his cheeks color. “First photo always hard. Get better after.”
“A-After?” she squeaked. “That means more pictures—more publicity. I just want to go home.” Her eyes filled with tears and her breathing picked up. “I didn’t want this.” She pulled at her hands and he let go easily, his heart breaking as guilt filled him. “Why did you have to take that picture? My life was fine before you came into it. Now it’s going right back to where I never wanted it to go again!”
“I-I—“ He stated.
She sat up abruptly, grabbing the sides of her head, her eyes wide and frightened. “What if it happens again?! I can’t live through that again!”
“Meri?” Song asked, worry running through him like lightening. “You okay?”
He reached out and touched her shoulder, but she jerked away, nearly falling off the bed. There was no recognition in her eyes and Song felt fear join the worry as Merideth began shouting at him to stay away.
Sarah, down from the ladder, demanded to know what was going on, but Song didn’t know. Merideth was screaming and crying, obviously out of breath and seemed to be losing her mind. What the hell was this? What was wrong? Song knew it seemed familiar, but he couldn’t pinpoint exactly where he had seen this before, and that wasn’t helping at all. All he could do was hover over her, unable to touch her for fear of making things worse.
Suddenly, Juil—in his own clothes—was there in front of Merideth, Min close behind him.
“This,” Min started as Juil reached for her wrists, “is what you call a ‘panic attack’, I think.”
Juil had secured her wrists, handing them to Min, who took them firmly and held them at her head height. Just as she started to last out with her legs, Juil climbed into her lap and grabbed her face.
“Merideth!” he shouted, his normally soft voice turning demanding and echoing through the studio.
Song could only watch helplessly. He felt useless and afraid. Of course it was had been a panic attack. Juil had had so many before—why hadn’t he recognized the signs? She certainly wasn’t as severe as Juil’s, but the same symptoms were there. God, he felt like such an idiot.
Juil had gotten Merideth’s attention and she looked up at him with wild eyes, her face tear-stained and streaked with makeup smudges. Juil smiled softly, his voice turning back to normal. “Her,” he started. “Remember me? I’m Juil. We’re safe, Merideth. It’s okay. You’re safe.”
Song watched more tears spill from her eyes, but the cloudy, panicked look was starting to fade. He watched as recognition filtered through and her shoulders slumped, the tension easing a little. Min let go of her wrists slowly.
“S-Safe?” she asked. She shook her head, her eyes serious and resigned. “Nowhere is safe anymore. I’ll never be safe again.”
Juil swallowed, his face twisting in a painful understanding that only he would know before he offered a sad smile. “Yes, you will. Because you have us. We promised, remember?”
Merideth closed her eyes. “Promise . . . But you’re going to leave, too.”
“Nope,” Min told her. He cocked a grin at her. “It’s in your contract. We have to protect you.”
“See?” Juil supported, getting her attention back as she sniffed. “We’ll always be here.”
Song watched Merideth’s lips tremble and he hated himself for thinking she was adorable as she cried. In the end, though, the guilt and self-hatred he felt building inside him made him feel worse as jealousy made him see the from the tips of his toes to the ends of his hair. Why hadn’t he been able to comfort her? Why hadn’t he been the one promising all those things? And why in the hell wasn’t he the one she was hugging and crying on? Why did it have to be Juil? Anyone but Juil he could compete with. If Juil stole her away, Song didn’t think he could find it in himself to forgive him. Friend or not, child or not, this was Merideth. Song wasn’t willing to fiver her up for anything or anyone—that much was starting to become crystal clear. Why, he didn’t know just yet; it was all happening too fast. All he knew was that, deep down, Song was willing to give up everything to have Merideth—even the life and people he had always known and loved.