Protect My Heart

Teagan had locked herself up in their shared apartment, never going out unless it was to get coffee or to go for a morning walk. All she would do all day was sit in front of the TV and take in whatever form of entertainment it had to offer until her eyes drooped out. It had been exactly one week after the incident at the restaurant. Seven days of doing nothing. Seven days of feeling nothing.

John O’Callaghan thought this to himself as he came home from practice, and honestly, he was scared for his best friend. John pretended not to notice, but he knew that she still cried herself to sleep during some nights.

“Honey, I’m home!” he sang out obnoxiously, shutting the front door behind him with his feet clad with cowboy boots. He took long strides to the living room, only to find his best friend sprawled out on their couch, absentmindedly flipping through channels on the television (as
usual), and, after a few moments, decided on watching some overrated soap opera rerun.

It was starting to become a routine for the two of them: he’ll leave for band practice and she’ll be on the couch; he’ll arrive hours later and she’ll still be on the couch. And quite frankly, he was getting pretty tired of it.

He just didn’t want to see his best friend slowly wasting her life away.

“JohnO?” Teagan inquired, yawning slightly, not bothering to shift from her spot on the couch to check if it really was him. She honestly could care less anymore.

“No,” John says in a faux creepy voice. “It’s a burglar.”

“Really, John?” Teagan mumbled sarcastically, not averting her gaze from the show on TV. “You are so funny,” she said, rolling her eyes. Every word that spilled out of her mouth just dripped with irony.

“Well, aren’t you a bucket full of sunshine today,” he countered, plastering a big, fake grin on his face, and his blunt statement just screamed mockery. He’d been very patient with her and he didn’t like how she was acting towards him, not one bit.

Teagan grunted, unmoved. “Don’t I know it.”

John frowned at his best friend but said nothing more. It had been a full week already, surely some of her feelings must have had subsidedalready. No, he had to remind himself, this is Teagan we’re speaking of. The kid has been in love with Liam since god knows when. It would take a lot of time for her to recuperate.

He walked over to where she was ever so slowly. The couch made a squeaking noise when John sat down on it. “Why’d you tell Liam that you’re still sick?”

“What?” she asked, shifting her stare from the television screen to her best friend. “How did you know about that?”

“He called me earlier,” he replied smoothly, slowly, as if talking about Liam would physically take a toll on her. He was afraid she’d break down in front of him just by the mere mention of Liam’s name. “He was asking about you, if you were doing any better.”

“Oh,” was the only reply that fell off her lips. For the first time that night, she was left speechless. Liam had asked about her? She felt queasy. No, she thought to herself, blinking back tears, he doesn’t care about you that way. He doesn’t look at you that way.

“Apparently he wanted to take you out for lunch today,” John continued, raising his eyebrows at her. “But you weren’t not answering his calls, and that one time you did—which I’m assuming was by accident—you told him that you were still sick.”

As John relayed these events to her, she felt them recollecting in her subconscious. How had she been so stupid? Telling Liam she was sick? What had she been thinking? “Well, I didn’t want to tell him that I was busy ‘cause that’s a lame excuse, so I told him that I was sick,”
she admitted, shrugging her shoulders.

“Both are lame excuses, actually,” John gave her a half smile, and upon seeing that Teagan didn’t mirror it, sighed once again. “But in all honesty, Teag, why are you doing this?” he asked. “And I want you to be honest with me.”

Silence ensued until she spoke softly. “Because I’m not ready to face him yet.” It was a sheepish answer, but it was the truth.

“Jesus, Teagan, it’s been a week!” John cried out loud, gripping at the ends of his hair for added effect. “When will all of this moping around stop?”

“Well John, I’ve been in love with the guy for as long as I can remember,” she stated with a straight face. “Do you even know how much it hurt when they told us they were getting married?” she furthered, her voice cracking slightly—the first sign she was losing her calm.

John scoffed. If only she really knew of his feelings for her. Maybe then she’d think of this whole situation differently and see it in a new light. “Of course I know how much it hurts, Teag! Jesus, do you even know—”

He stopped himself before he could even say something he was bound to regret forever. He was afraid that if she found out about how he truly felt about her, their friendship would be put to risk. And somehow, he knew that it would if he told her of his true intentions. He didn’t
know how or why; he just did.

So instead, the sandy blonde haired boy steered the argument. “What the hell Teagan, do you think I’m some inexperienced guy who has never been hurt before?”

Teagan, who already had tears streaming down her pale face, didn’t notice his slip. “If it was just a simple crush, I would’ve gotten over it after a week, but it isn’t!” she said, her voice rising. “I actually thought you would understand John, but unfortunately, I was mistaken,” Teagan spat and exited to her room.

She closed the door with a slam behind her and lay down on her bed, disappointed, even more so than she had been before getting into that argument with John. She thought that maybe he would understand of all people, but maybe she was wrong. She closed her eyes and prayed that sleep would take over.

Outside in the living room, John sat down on the couch and buried his face in his hands. He was disappointed not because of Teagan, not because of the petty argument, but because of how he reacted. He let his emotions take over him, which, he found, was a terrible thing to
do.