Lavender Sweater and a Volkswagen Jetta

December.

A few weeks after we flew back home, Pat invited all of us over at his place this evening for a Christmas party. Garrett went out with the boys so I was left with my girls. I promised him that I’ll see him at the party later tonight at Pat’s house. Brie came back a week before we got home. It was nice of her to get us articles of clothing from the brands she modelled with as her Christmas gift to us. I wasn’t always the one for designer clothes but she insisted.

“So, how was tour?” she asked.

Jules sipped on her coffee before squealing, “It was ah-mazing! Chicago was beautiful,”

“I have to admit, every place we went to was beautiful, not only Chicago.” I laughed.

“You didn’t reply to my e-mail, Ellie,” Brie frowned. “And you barely called me the whole time.”

That moment, I felt bad. “I’m sorry, Brie.”

She smiled. “It’s alright. Jules updated me on how you were holding up so I didn’t see the need of you to call,”

“Alright ladies, I think it’s time for us to get back to Elle’s house and get ready,” Jess said after finishing up her muffin.

We all piled up in Brie’s car and headed home. The girls already brought their clothes with them and we started getting dressed… in separate rooms, of course. Jules and Brie did each other’s make-ups while Jess and I did the same. As I slipped on my flats, my ears perked up at the girls’ conversation.

“What if Joel’s there?” Brie said, trying to say it as quietly as she could.

I sat up straight and looked at her indifferently. The look made her turn back to me with a sheepish smile. I sighed. “Brie, you don’t think he’s going to talk to me again, don’t you?”

“Elle, we don’t think; we know. I mean, Garrett probably told him that Pat’s holding a party at his place and…yeah,” Jules said as she sat down next to me.

I groaned and fell back to the bed, frustrated. Jess patted my knee and whispered, “C’mon, you’ll get through this. I’m going to stay by your side and save your ass from him if he ever tries to talk to you, I promise,” and winked.

“I guess you can say that,” I said as I got up from the bed, grabbing my bag. “You girls ready?” The three of them nodded and we went downstairs. The girls got in Brie’s car first while I locked the house. As soon as I got in, Jess held my hand and whispered, “Just don’t think about him.” I gave her a weak smile and watched out the window as Brie backed up her car out of our driveway.

Great, I’m about to pretend somebody I’m not… again.


Brie locked her car and we walked up to Pat’s front door. Jules was the one to knock and Pat answered it with a huge grin on his face. “The girls are here!” he shouted out to the others who are already there. He gave us all hugs. I was the last one to get in the house and he whispered into my ear, “The others already know what’s with the name-change. Don’t worry, we already told everyone before they came,”

“Thanks Pat,” I said and gave him another hug.

“No problem. We don’t want to have another issue now, do we?” he chuckled as we went to his living room.

Garrett immediately excused himself from Nick Santino as soon as he saw me walk into the room and walked over to where I was. He enveloped me in a hug before placing a kiss on my lips. He wrapped his arm around my waist and led us to the deserted kitchen. Garrett leaned on the counter, arms crossed over his chest. "Something's bothering you," he whispered.

"Nothing's bothering me." I said simply. But deep down I knew that I wasn't going to pull off the lie and that he won't be convinced otherwise. Not even wanting to cause a scene, I finally decided to tell him. "Alright fine, there is something bothering me,"

"If this is about him, you don't have to worry," he chuckled. "You'll be fine. We already told everybody."

"No, it's not just that," I mumbled.

Garrett took a step closer to me. "Then what?" he asked calmly.

I pursed my lips, unsure if I should tell him. "What if he talks to me? What if he asks me about my life? What do I say? Garrett, I don't want to pretend to be somebody I'm not. This is not the way I planned it to be. The reason why I came back here is because of you and Kylie. And the reason why I'm still here is because I want to be with you—with all of you. But then he comes along and this happens," I said, trying to keep my voice down and trying to keep calm.

"Elle, believe me, I did not expect this to happen,"

"And neither did I, Gar."

I shook my head and leaned on the counter, head down. Neither of us said a word. Seconds ticked by when I finally decided to break the eerie silence. "Alright, I'll just... I'll think of something to say to make him believe that I'm not really me,"

His eyebrows pulled together as he frowned. "Are you sure about that?"

"If it means him not knowing that I came back months ago, I'll do my best."

That made Garrett look away from me and glance back to the living room where everyone else was cautiously. I crossed my arms over my chest as I waited for what he had to say. Finally, he sighed and turned back to me. "Fine,"

Garrett pulled me into his arms as he whispered to my ear, "Just be careful of what you're going to say."

I nodded and gave him a reassuring smile as soon as he released me from his tight embrace. He draped his arm over my shoulder as we headed back to the living room.


After eating dinner, exchanging of gifts, and a rousing game of truth or dare, all of us got engaged into different conversations. I, for one, sneaked out of the house and out to the cold December night. I looked up at the stars and mindlessly counting them as I sipped on my glass of wine.

"What are you doing out here all alone?"

The voice startled me. My head turned around to see Joel standing by the door with a questioning look on his face as he walked forward.

"Nothing, really. I just... wanted some fresh air, that's all," I smiled.

"You know, I never got the chance to know you. All I know is that you're Garrett's girlfriend and that's it," he chortled.

My heart started racing. I knew this was going to happen. I didn't know what to tell him; I wasn't the one for lying.

"Well, what do you want to know?" I challenged.

Joel stuck his hands into the pocket of his jeans as he thought. "You can tell me the basics; when's your birthday, what's your favorite color, your height, your age, your favorite band/s..." he trailed off.

I giggled. "Well, I was born in Scottsdale, Arizona on the 6th of March. My favorite color is sky blue. I love Italian and Japanese foods. I adore natural history. James McAvoy is my favorite actor. I uh, didn't finish college. I'm claustrophobic. My favorite bands—at the moment—are The Killers, Bon Jovi, and Tonight Alive and I'm 5'7." I smiled then let out a small laugh after my introduction.

Joel stood there next to me, impressed. "Oh," was all he could say. He then kept on throwing me a lot of questions—some were a bit tricky to answer but I passed anyway.

"So, how'd you meet Garrett?"

I looked up at him and back at my shoes that I started scraping on the ground. "Um... I met Garrett through Kennedy, actually. He asked me to come to one of their shows since they were in town and I gladly said yes. As soon as their set ended, Kenny found me in the crowd and asked me to come with him backstage to meet the guys.

"I was really nervous at the whole thing. I wasn't really that good with meeting people for the first time. Kenny told me to wait outside until he called me to go in. After a few minutes, he pulled me inside their dressing room. The four of them greeted me in chorus. Kenny first introduced me to Jared, then Pat, John, and Garrett was last."

"What was your first impression on him?"

"Who? Garrett?" Joel nodded. The corner of my lips pulled up to a half smile. "He was pretty shy when I first met him. But after Kenny introduced me to them, Garrett and I hung out a lot. If you're thinking that he asked for my number, no. I kept seeing him everywhere I go...but not everyday. We pass by each other but no hi's or hello's.

"'Til one day at the record store...I was going through the CDs, trying to see if there's a new album out when out of nowhere he said, 'Why is it that I keep on seeing you everywhere I go?' The question made me look up to see him there with a smirk on his face. I shook my head and answered, 'I should ask you the same thing.'

"The two of us went out the store and grabbed lunch together. Since then, we became pretty inseparable. Garrett asked me out in a really awkward manner but I really don't feel like talking about that now so... there you go,"

Joel chuckled once my story ended. The whole lie seemed to convince him that I'm not Elle. A part of me was relieved that I pulled this whole thing off. But another part of me wasn't because maybe someday, Joel might know that I'm not 'Demi Sinclair' but Joelle Monaco—the girl he knocked up four years ago.


As I changed out of tonight's ensemble and threw on a gray v-neck and sweatpants, I couldn't believe I lied to Joel Kanitz about who I am. The way he looked at me during dinner made me feel like at some point, he knew who I really am. And the thought scared me. What do I do then?

I climbed into bed and faced the window like I always do. Garrett and I already talked about my chat with Joel earlier while we were on our way home and once he brought up the thing during dinner, it made me uncomfortable.

I felt the weight shift on the other side of the bed. Garrett sighed and said, "This whole situation is bugging the hell out of you, I can tell."

"I honestly have no idea what to do now..." I mumbled. "I just want to sleep it off."

"If that's what you want," he whispered before turning out the lights. He kissed my temple and wrapped his arm around my waist. "Goodnight, Elle,"

"Night," I answered. My eyes started to drop as soon as I said goodnight, realizing how tired I was. This night wasn't the best nights of my life nor the best Christmas party I went to.

How long am I going to keep this up?