Paint Me an Image

Our "party" ended up just being the guys and I heading over to Zacky's house. It wasn't an outrageously big house but it was in no way small. The outside of the house was white, pristine. When I walked in the first thing I noticed was the cherry wood flooring, the rich color accented the walls. From Zacky's living room you could see the coast with the beach literally right outside.

I stepped out onto his porch as soon as we got there, seeing the beach for the first time since I was back. I took a deep breath, smelling the salt in the air as I shimmied out of my shoes and walked down the steps of his porch, my bare feet squishing in the sand.

I threw my head back and rejoiced in the familiar, and missed, feeling of the sand between my toes. I starting walking out towards where the waves were crashing against the sand, causing bubbles and air pockets to rise out of the grains.

I walked until I could feel the tide brush over my feet and warm my whole body all at once. I raised my hands toward the sky, feeling the breeze whistle through my fingers. My hair was catching in the wind, blowing back slightly, off of my shoulders and then landing back down on them, noiselessly.

"It's so beautiful," I murmured to myself, wondering why I had ever chosen to leave this place for another, without a coast.

My eyes closed as the breeze lulled me, calming every inch of me. I felt utterly relaxed and sure of myself, for once. I reached down and let the sand slip through my fingers. When it fell back to the ground it reminded me of an hour glass, time passing. I realized that a lot of time had passed since I was last here. 10 entire years since I had felt the sand from this beach. 10 entire years since I had been in my childhood house, seen my friends, and been here, in Huntington. It had been 10 entire years since I had been home.

When I turned around to go inside I saw Matty standing on the porch, watching me with a content smile on his face. He reached his hand out to me as I stumbled up the porch steps, the wood warm under my feet. My fingers clasped with his as he tugged me towards the building. I tugged back with a smile, making him wait for me to get my shoes back on my feet before I lost them in the darkness of night.

I followed him into the house and grinned when I saw the rest of the guys sitting on the couches with guitars.

"What are you guys doing?" I questioned bubbly as I tossed myself down next to Brian.

Brian grinned at me, "We just called an impromptu band meeting. Our drummer and Ma-... Our drummer should be here soon," he said, stumbling over the fact that he almost mentioned Matt's name.

I groaned and threw myself against the back of the couch like a child, causing everyone to chuckle at me. "Stop laughing at my misfortune."

Johnny shook his head as he plucked a few strings on his bass, and then stopped to sip his beer. "We aren't laughing at you, we're laughing with you," he corrected.

I glared. "I'm not laughing, Johnny."

He shrugged and sat his beer on the coffee table. "Well, I guess we are laughing at you then."

"Why does he have to come over?" I whined, putting a pout on my face, hoping that it would make Matty cave and tell his brother to call off the practice but there was no such luck, seeing as when Matty did tell them just to cut it off and that they could get piss drunk instead, Zacky whacked him in the head and told him to "be a man".

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, giving in. I would just ignore Matt when he got here and listen to the band as they played. I couldn't wait to see them up close and personal, see how they interact during the process. How they originally make music before they have time to rehearse it a million times and fix every little detail.

About 20 minutes after I came in from the beach, a curly headed man came walking through Zacky's front door. I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering who he could possibly be. When I saw a pair of drumsticks sticking out of his back pocket I gasped.

"Jimmy..." I whispered, remembering all of a sudden. "No, no, no, no, no, no," I repeated as my face went down into my hands.

I had found out about Jimmy the day he died. Through a phone call with my mother and father. But since I never really thought about this band too much after I left, I had forgotten that Jimmy wasn't here with us anymore. Out of habit, I assumed that "our drummer" was Brian's way of being clever and that he really was just referring to Jimmy.

"Image..?" Brian called, watching as I crumbled.

"I have to go," I rushed out as I stood, my hands wiping the tears away from my eyes.

Zacky handed his guitar to his brother and reached out to grab onto my arm. "No, wait. Image, what's wrong?"

I shook my head quickly, feeling ashamed of myself. "Nothing."

Zacky rolled his eyes. "Bull, tell me what's wrong right now," he demanded as he pulled me down onto the couch that he and Johnny were sharing. I was sandwiched between the two of them as I cried, shielding my face from their view.

I hiccuped but replied, knowing that they wouldn't let me leave until I did. "I forgot," I whispered into Zacky's shoulder as he pulled my shaking body against his firm one.

Zacky pushed me to tell them more. "Forgot what?"

I hiccuped again and wrapped my arms around his neck, letting my tears soak his shirt. "That Jimmy's dead!" I bellowed, more sobs racking through my body. "How the hell could I forget, Zacky? Please tell me how I could forget about Jimmy!"

Not one of the guys spoke up. I didn't blame them. What could they say in an instance like this? Zacky just pulled me tighter against him and wrapped one of his arms around my waist while the other when to the back of my head and fingered through my hair, trying to soothe me.

I cried for awhile and eventually Zacky pulled me from the room and up to his bedroom. I was exausted from sobbing so Zacky laid me on his bed and covered me up with the black blanket that had green stitching.

"Don't leave me," I hiccuped as he turned to go.

He offered me a sad smile. "I'll get Matty to come up here with you," he promised as he leaned down to brush my hair away from my face and press a kiss to my forehead.

I watched with watery eyes as Zacky left the room, closing the door behind him. I laid awake for probably 10 minutes, waiting for Matty to come lay with me, but eventually I fell asleep, noting in my tired mind that he wasn't there to comfort me.