Paint Me an Image

I drove home after the awkward moment in the kitchen with Matt. All I could think about was if maybe, just maybe, he'd cut me a break. I didn't think about Matty or Jimmy or the fact that Avenged had replaced him, I just thought about how I was ready for the feud between Matt and I to be over so that we could both get on with our lives.

When I got home I clambered into basketball shorts and a tank and climbed into bed. Since I hadn't had cable hooked up yet I groaned when I realized that I had to get out of bed and put the movie in. I decided on The Dilemma to put in and waited near the t.v. to hit "play" so that I wouldn't have to get back up.

I sighed happily when I got back into bed, my back thanking me as well. I laughed when Vince Vaughn's character in the movie, started naming off scenarios. But as I watched the movie, my thoughts wouldn't rest. My mind flittered from one topic, person, to another. From Matt to Zacky and then finally to Matty.

The only time the movie distracted me was when Kevin James began to dance. Then the words "Hero Couple" sprung up during the movie and I began thinking of Matty once again.

I wondered why he never came up to comfort me. Why he wasn't there when I woke up. And even worse, I wondered why his older brother was there for me more than he was.

I looked around my room for my cell phone. Noting the dark grey walls with light purple accents as I did so. When I didn't see it any where around me, I realized that it was probably in my sweatshirt pocket, that I left laying on the couch. I slid out of bed, feeling the air-conditioning nip at my legs. I wandered out of my open bed room door which led to the living room. The living room walls were orange, bright. They faded out and then blended in with the yellow of the kitchen. I grabbed my cell and then went into the kitchen.

There weren't too many things to eat here so when I realized I was hungry I decided just to order in Chinese food from a little restaurant downtown. I had to look the number up on Google and when I did, I couldn't stop smiling at the fact that I would be eating Chinese food within the next half an hour.

I went back to my room soon after, with a rootbeer in my hand. I searched through my box full of movies for something good to watch and came upon Happy Gilmore. I popped it in and watched for awhile. When the door bell rang I hopped up with a squeal and grabbed my music note wallet. I pulled the front door open and automatically began bouncing on the balls of my feet as the smell of the food wafted into my house.

The guy holding the food was obviously excited to see me too. He was a young kid, maybe 16 or 17 with red and black dyed hair, a piercing or two, and a smirk on his face as he glance below my face.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed the food from him. "You know," I told him as I pulled money out of my wallet, "My boyfriend's in the other room if you want to stare at his chest too."

The young kid faltered for a second and then rolled his eyes. "No thanks. But I'm not afraid of any loser that lets his girlfriend pay for their food."

I laughed and handed him the money, knowing that he was just being a teenage boy. "Well then, get out of here. Before I actually do get him out here to beat the crap out of you."

He saluted before turning and disappearing down the hallway and into the elevator. I noted that next time I answer the door for delivery guys I should be wearing more than a tank-top.

That incident was quickly forgotten once the smell of Chinese made it's way to my nose. I grabbed a plate from the cupboard and carried the entire bag of food into my room. I made myself a plate and began devouring it in large bites.

When my cell phone rang I answered it with food in my mouth. My words were garbled but still understandable.

"Hey Matty," I greeted and then swallowed, "Where were you today?"

"I had to go back to my place and deal with some things. I came up to say goodbye but you were sleeping so I didn't wake you."

"Oh," I murmured, knowing that I was a light sleeper and probably would've woken up if he crept into the room.

"Yeah. But I was wondering if you want to come hang out tomorrow?" he questioned, his voice hopeful.

I sighed, "I can't. My friend Andre is flying in tomorrow. I'm going to be spending the day with him. I'm sorry."

Matty sighed as well. "Well maybe you guys could both come over? I'd like to meet him."

I chuckled but replied, "I can't, Matty. We have to go to my parents house and help them plan their anniversary party. That's why he's flying in and probably be living with me for a while. So that we can play at my parents party. Well, there's probably more to it. Dre always wanted to see the west coast."

Matty was silent for a moment and then he spoke. "How long have you known him?"

I shrugged to myself and took another bite of Chinese. "About eight years. Why?"

"Just wondering."

After an awkward moment of silence I decided to say good night. "Well, I've got Chinese food in front of me and a movie playing so I'm going to relax for awhile, alright? I'll text you tomorrow."

"Okay. Bye Image."

"See yah Matthew."

I laughed at the fact that he groaned at his full name and then I hung up, not waiting for him to comment on it. It seemed that Matty would be the needy kind of boyfriend, the one to let the woman take charge of the relationship. That was exactly what I needed in my life, to be in charge, but somehow, it wasn't what I was attracted to very often.

I've had horrible luck with men in the past. Usually getting into a relationship with a controlling man. The last guy put me in the hospital after six months of dating. That's why I ended up here, back at home. When my parents found out they demanded that I come back and stay here for awhile so that Anthony, the guy, wouldn't be able to find me or get a hold of me.

So I changed my number, packed up all my shit, and left New York.

I left behind all the guys who had tossed me around and hurt me. Yet unfortunately, I also had to leave behind the only one that didn't, Andre Santana.

We had met in college. I was working on getting my Master's degree so that I could get my Social Worker's license with in the next few years.

Andre was working on Graphic Design, taking four classes a day and smashing into me in the hallways between each.

Eventually he asked for my number, and I gave it to him. After about three months of "dating" we both decided that we had no physical feelings for one another. We became best friends and finished out college together. Moved in with each other after and I even had our entire lives planned out together. He would marry a smart, Hispanic, technical engineer and I would marry an educated aristocrat. Andre's kids would have curly hair and Cuban looks. My kids would have light brown hair and green or hazel eyes. The kids would be happy and play together. Our lives would be good.

But things change. I ended up in the hospital with three cracked ribs, a broken middle finger, and a bruised up face. The cops were called, Andre pressured me into pressing charges. Anthony was arrested soon after and then I left. No more kids, no more tales of perfect lives and happy families, at least not with Andre.

I fell asleep with my thoughts raging in my mind, causing colorful, bad, dreams. The only think that kept me calm when the nightmares woke me up was the reminder that my best friend would be here tomorrow. In this house, holding me as I slept and keeping me safe from my past.