Paint Me an Image

"Zack," I said, "I don't know. Why can't we just wait until we get to our destination. I can go when we get to the next town."

Zacky shrugged. "We've got time."

I sighed and bit my lip. "I want to go alone, Zacky," I told him, hoping he wouldn't get mad. I looked over the faces of the guys as they looked between the two of us, wondering if this would start more trouble between us.

Zacky shook his head. "I want to go with you. I feel like I should be there, for my brother."

I sighed and shook my head, too. "No Zacky. I'm going alone."

"No you're not," Matt said behind me as he emerged from the bunks.

I was about to disagree but he cut me off with another no. "I could be the father of this baby, Imogen, and I'm going to be at every doctor's appointment until it's proven otherwise."

"Matt," I sighed. I wanted to tell him that this was something I needed to do alone but I stopped when his confident voice rang in my ears.

"I'm going, Imogen," he told me as I turned around to face him.

I swallowed hard and then nodded my head once, feeling like I didn't have a choice. Zack sighed behind me and folded his arms over his chest. When I looked back to him he said, "You're calling my brother after and you're telling him," Zacky demanded, "He deserves to go to that kind of shit too."

I nodded my head. "I know. I'll tell him, Zack."

Zack sighed and then nodded before he turned and headed towards the front of the bus to tell the driver to turn off on the next exit and head back to the last town.

I ran my fingers through my hair and turned to head back to the bunks as the bus changed lanes. I grabbed some clothing and took it into the bathroom to change, ignoring the guys as they watched me silently. I shut myself into the bathroom and decided to take a shower.

I showered quickly and then dried and dressed myself, feeling that the bus had stopped by now. I kept the door locked as I brushed out my hair and dried it just enough that it wasn't dripping on my shirt, then I tied it back and rimmed my eyes in dark black eyeliner.

I pushed the bathroom door open quickly and went back to the bunks to toss my things onto mine before I grabbed my tight-fitting gray sweatshirt. I slipped my arms into it and reached into Matt's empty bunk to grab his aviators. I slipped them onto my face and stuffed my hands into my pockets and made my way to the front of the bus where the guys were sitting, watching something on the TV and talking.

"I'm ready, Matt," I told him as everyone's gazes move to me.

Matt didn't even mention that his glasses were on his face when he noticed. But instead he stood up and grabbed his own hoodie before nodding towards the door to the bus.

We were parked in the back of the parking lot at a walk-in clinic and when we stepped off I noticed that we were catching the attention of a large family who was piling out of a van. I ignored the couple and their children as Matt reached into my pocket and took my hand, holding it tightly between us.

I looked up to his face and saw that he was looking straight ahead, leading us both into the clinic, ignoring the family too. I didn't blame them for looking at us, we definitely weren't the usual couple you would see walking into a place like this, especially after walking off of a huge tour bus with the name of a insanely popular band painted on the side.

When we entered the clinic we walked up to a woman who sat behind a desk on a computer. She looked up to us and smiled. "Hello," she said politely, "What can I do for you?"

"I need to see a doctor," I said, biting my lip and feeling incredibly awkward.

The woman glanced between Matt and I, and then nodded. "Of course, Honey. What's your name?"

"Imogen Piers," I told her, squeezing Matt's hand.

She typed my name into her computer and then handed me a clipboard with some papers on it. I sighed and thanked her as Matt led me over to the chairs. I pushed the aviators onto my head sat down to began filling out basic information about myself. My birthday, name, and other things like that.

We waited as the people around us got called into the doctor and then left afterwards. Matt had taken the clipboard back up to the desk and then grabbed my hand tightly as he sat back down on the edge of his chair, looking around the open office as we waited.

"Imogen Piers," I heard as Matt looked over to a woman in scrubs who stood at the hallway that led back to the doctors rooms.

"Come on, baby," he murmured, sighing when I winced at the nickname.

I stood up and bit my lip as he pulled me over to the woman and smiled politely, since I had pretty much gone catatonic now that reality was setting in.

The woman seemed to notice my attitude as she chatted politely with Matt, who had turned on his famous charm. "Are you the husband?" she questioned with a smile.

Matt smiled at her. "Boyfriend," he corrected as we walked into a little room that looked like every other doctor's office in the country.

I took a seat in one of the two little chairs as the nurse told us that someone would be right with us.

"Thank you," Matt said with a nod as he glanced back over to me and licked his lips.

I stared at the floor as he reached over and pushed the strands of hair that had fallen out of my ponytail, out of my face. He trailed his thumb over my bottom lip which caused me to look over to him, something I'd been avoiding since we'd entered the building.

I didn't know how I felt when I looked into his hazel orbs. I looked away after a moment and back to the floor, causing Matt to reach out and touch my cheek again. "Im," he sighed as he scooted a little bit closer, "It's okay."

"You're not the one who is about to ruin someone else's life, Matt," I said quietly, biting my lip and tasting blood as I broke the skin.

Matt shook his head and pulled my chin so that I was looking at him again. "You're not ruining anyone's life, just changing it," he murmured, leaning in to press his lips against my cheek.

I closed my eyes. "I'm sorry, Matt," I told him honestly, feeling my heart start aching.

Matt shook his head quickly and pulled me into his arms, wrapping them tightly around me as I tucked my head under his chin and listened for the steady beating of his heart in his chest.

I pulled back when there was a knock on the wooden door, and I took Matt's hand in mine, instead. A woman walked through the door and smiled at the two of us before she introduced herself.

"I'm doctor Natalie Albright," she said with a grin, "You are," she stopped to check her papers, "Imogen?"

"Imogen," I said, correcting the way she pronounced it.

"Excuse me," she said before she turned to Matt, "And you are?"

"Matt," he told her as he shook her hand, "The boyfriend."

Doctor Albright nodded and then sat down in her chair in front of her computer. She turned to look at us and offered a welcoming smile as she asked, "So, what are you here for?"

"I need," I started and then shook my head, "I mean, I think I'm going to have a baby."

"We need a pregnancy test," Matt clarified.

The doctor nodded her head and put a smile on her face. "Well congratulations," she said and Matt nodded. When Dr. Albright saw the nostalgic look on my face she let her smile leave her face and she scooted a little closer to me.

"Imogen," she said comfortingly, "Did you plan this baby?"

I tightened my grip on Matt's hand as I looked up to his gaze and then away and over to the blonde woman. I shook my head, no.

"Well," she said with sympathy in her voice as she sat up a little straighter and reached for my free hand. "You have options," she said cautiously.

"No," Matt said next to me, shaking his head, "She won't abort it."

The doctor looked up to him. "So you two have talked about it?" she asked, "You're the father?"

I squeezed Matt's hand as I looked up to Dr. Albright. "We've talked about it. But it's not his decision," I told her watching as she looked a little taken aback.

"Well, the father of the baby does have some say in the welfare of his unborn child," she said, "But ultimately, you're right, it's the woman's decision and if you feel like you don't want a child right now or can not handle pregnancy, there are options."

I shook my head. "I'm not going to murder my child," I said, watching as she hid her surprise at my choice of words.

She nodded and tucked her think hair behind her ears. "Well, there's always adoption if you decided that a child would not fit into your lifestyle or you are unable to take care of it."

I closed my eyes as I thought about what being pregnant would result in and the decisions I'd have to make after the baby was born. I knew I wasn't fit to be a mother. I wasn't anything like my own mother, or my brother and his wife who had always wanted children. I had never thought about the possibility of having and raising a child. I had never wanted to be a mom, either. Sure, I liked kids when I saw them, but by the end of the night I was ready to give them back to their parents and say goodnight.

I knew I wasn't ready to give up my freedom or my lifestyle. I was living in a one bedroom apartment with open electrical plugs and pointy corners on coffee tables. I smoked cigarettes, drank alcohol, and liked parties more than a mother was supposed to.

"Lets just start with a pregnancy test," Matt said as he rubbed his thumb over the palm of my hand.

Dr. Albright agreed with him and asked me to follow them down to the lab to get blood drawn. Dr. Albright asked me to sit down and that the lab technician would be with us momentarily to draw blood from my arm. When he came in he put a tourniquet around my elbow to build up the blood and then he used a thin needle to pull blood out. I closed my eyes and clenched my fist as the blood spilled into a vial.

"We should have the result in about ten minutes if you want to wait back in your room. I'll have the nurse escort you back," he said with a smile.

"Thats okay," Matt said, "I know the way."

I followed him out of the lab room and back down the hall. The door to the room we were in was wide open and he went inside, not waiting for me to follow but knowing I would anyways. We both sat back down in our chairs and waited silently.

I didn't have anything more to say to Matt. I had already apologized and I knew it wasn't enough, but I didn't know what else to do. This would change his life either way. If I was pregnant and this was his baby, he'd become a father, and if it wasn't his baby, he'd become an outsider to my web of lies and mistakes.

"I can't do this," I said, my thoughts spilling out of my mouth.

Matt's head jerked in my direction as his eyes raked over my face. "What are you talking about, Image?"

"I can't do this," I said, "I can't be a mom."

"Image," Matt said cautiously as he turned to face me, "You can't get rid of it. You don't even know whose baby it is."

"I can find out," I said, "When it's big enough, I can find out, then I can-"

"No," Matt spat, shaking his head, "You can't. I won't let you."

I shook my head, not looking at him. "If it's Matty's..."

"He won't let you either," he said sharply, "You won't kill either of our baby."

"I can't do this," I said as I gasped, my lungs empty of oxygen.

Matt grabbed my hand. "Yes you can, Imogen," he said, "You have to. This baby is going to be a part of you and a part of Matty or I. It's going to be the most loved baby in the world."

I closed my eyes and rested my elbows on my knees as I tried to catch my breath. Matt sat on the edge of his chair and rubbed my back silently. I didn't move from my position when the door opened and Dr. Albright came back in, she just greeted Matt and handed him a piece of paper.

I closed my eyes as he read it. And I gasped when he asked, "When is it possible to get a paternity test?"