Paint Me an Image

"How long has it been since you got pregnant?" Dr. Albright questioned me, looking at me with concern as I stayed mostly catatonic.

"Like twenty days," Matt said, thinking back in his head with a calculative look on his face. "For me anyways," he said, watching as Dr. Albright became confused.

"What do you mean?" the doctor asked him.

Matt sighed. "That was the time we had sex, I don't know the date when she and the other guy did," he said calmly.

"Ah," Dr. Albright nodded, "So that's why you need the paternity test."

"Yes," Matt stated, nodding his head as he looked to me.

"It was the same day," I said as I closed my eyes tightly, knowing that Matt had no idea when Matty and I had been together. I felt him stiffen next to me and he pulled his hand out of mine as he turned to me.

"That same day?" he questioned in an eery calm voice.

I nodded. "Yes."

"You couldn't even wait one whole day before you replaced me with him?" he questioned, anger slipping into his words as his calm melted away.

"Stop it, Matt," I said as I turned my gaze to look to him. "I don't need this from you right now."

Matt bit his lip and sat back in his chair, turning back to the doctor. "So when is the closest date that a paternity test could be done?" he questioned with his voice harsh.

"It ranges between nine and thirteen weeks," Dr. Albright said, "It depends on how quickly your, the," she corrected, "baby is developing."

"Is there anyway to know?" Matt questioned, "How developed the baby is."

The doctor nodded, "Well, yes," she said, "But if it's not an emergency or for other reasons we recommend waiting until the child is born for a paternity test, it's much easier and less expensive."

Matt shook his head, "Money's not a problem."

Dr. Albright nodded. "Well it's also much more comfortable. With performing a paternity test on an unborn child we insert a long needle through the abdomen of the woman and take a sample of DNA from the-"

"I'll do it," I said, "I'll do it."

"I understand that you would like to know who the father of your baby is, but it would be much simpler if you just wait until-"

"When is the closest time we can schedule an appointment?"

"Wait about one week."

Matt and I decided not to schedule an appointment at this office, seeing as we wouldn't be here in one week. Matt and I walked out of the doctor's office side by side and silently. I felt numb as Matt lead me back to the bus and through the parking lot with knowing women who sent me looks of concern as I walked next to a burly and threatening-looking man.

The guys emerged as we walked back onto the bus, and when they saw my posture and look, they knew and so they asked.

"What happened?" Zacky asked, his arms folded over his chest seeing as he already knew the answer.

I ignored him as I walked back to the bunks and climbed into my own, Matt answering their questions in hushed tones.

"She's pregnant," he said quietly, like saying the world would cause me to explode into a fit of tears and heightened fear.

I closed my eyes and buried my face in my pillow. I didn't want to listen as he explained to the guys what the plan was. I opened my eyes as Matt told the guys to remind him to ask our tour manager where we would be in one week so that we could call ahead and make an appointment in that town.

I sighed as I sat up, glad that the height between bunks was tall enough that I didn't have to duck while sitting cross-legged. I grabbed my cell phone and took a deep breath, deciding that I better get on with it before Zacky thought that I wasn't moving fast enough.

I scrolled down until I got to the right letter of the alphabet and bit my lip hard as I clicked on it, watching as the screen changed and numbers began counting as the phone itself began to ring.

"Hey, it's Matt's phone, leave a message."

I sighed and ended the call before dialing again. "Hey, it's Matt-"

I redialed and stopped biting my lip as he answered. "What do you want, Image?"

"I need to talk to you," I said, getting right down to business because I didn't think I was capable of doing anything else.

"About the fact that you and Sanders are together now? Because I already know. It was all over the internet and almost every good rock station on the radio."

"No, it's not about that," I said, then added, "Well kind of," since it might possibly have something to do with Matt, 'M. Shadows'.

Matty sighed. "Then what?" he questioned, tiredly, "I really don't feel like talking to you, Image. I just feel like we should go our separate ways for awhile."

I sighed too and nodded to myself, knowing that he was right, although that may not be entirely possible depending on the results of a test that I'd be eligible for in just one week. "I'm pregnant," I said, cutting to the chase since I had no other choice. It wasn't like I could spew off about the weather without him hanging up on me.

The line was silent and for a moment I thought maybe he'd hung up when he heard. But then I heard a strangled sound of shock. Then he asked, "Is it mine?"

That was where I stopped talking, my cut throat way of getting to the point disappeared and I shook my head to myself. "No," I said, then corrected myself even though that was what I wanted to be the true. "I mean, I'm not sure."

Matty asked, "When will you be sure?"

"In a week," I replied, feeling naive for the first time since I got all up us into this twisted mess.

Matty was silent then and I was listening for the sound of his breathing to confirm that he hadn't hung up on me, yet. For some reason I was expecting the line to go dead and for him to tell me to "do something" about this. Although I knew he'd never give me his paternal permission to abort this child, he wasn't that kind of person.

"Well, what then?" Matty questioned on the other line, his voice slow and unsure, but not scared.

I stopped. I didn't know what this would mean. I didn't know what would happen in the next few days let alone what would happen in the next nine months and after that. I shrugged, then said, "I guess I'll let you know..." when I realized that he couldn't see me.

"If I'm the father to your unborn child," he finished my sentence.

"Yes."

We were both quiet then, and I figured this hadn't really set in on him yet. He didn't process the words and realize that there was a fifty-fifty chance that he could be a "daddy" in a little less than nine months to the baby of a woman who cheated on him with her childhood bully.

I closed my eyes and said, "I'm sorry."

Matty's next words didn't hurt like I expected them too. They didn't make my heart ache or make me wince. I didn't tear up or feel bad for myself, because I knew I deserved so much more than just a jab at the sham I'd called a relationship. Matty said, "I'm sorry too," in a way that I just knew meant something other than what I was apologizing for. I knew that he meant he was sorry I was stupid enough to get myself pregnant, and even stupider because of the possibility that it would be with someone who didn't want me... or the baby.