Can't Be Without You

"Will you fix him?!" Jasper hissed at me. Wednesday night, band practice at Rian's. Alex was still quiet.
"How am I supposed to fix him?" I whispered back.
"Alex! Bro, come on. We've got a show in two days, man," Zack sighed.
"I vote we leave Kiki and Lex alone for a bit. Since she's the only one he talks to anymore," Jack mumbled.
"Agreed," Rian said, "Be back in 10 minutes." Everyone but Alex and myself stood up and left the basement. I heard the door click shut. Great. What am I supposed to do now? Alex was sitting on a stool across the room twirling a drumstick. I sighed heavily and stood up. I grabbed another stool and dragged it in front of him.
"Can you stop acting like an ass now? It's been five days, Alex."
"I'm thinking about breaking up with Lisa," he said randomly. I stared at him. He totally caught me off guard.
"Uhm... what? You guys just started going out."
"Nah, we've been dating for two months now." What?
"I've definitely seen you with other girls." He shrugged, "We have a very open relationship. Neither one of us wants to be tied down just yet, and we both understand that we're not each others soul mate."
"So... why the sudden...?"
"There's this other girl," he scratched his head, "She's all I've been able to think about for a while. My silence isn't because of Daniel. It's because I've been trying to figure out how to ask her out. I think she hates me."
"Who could ever hate you?" I said sarcastically, eye roll included. He smiled and looked up at me trough his lashes.
"Oh you'd be surprised." I could feel a blush trying to make an appearance. I coughed and looked away from him.
"I'm fine though, I promise. Just a lot on my mind." I heard footsteps by the door. Sounds like the guys were coming back. Alex slid off the stool and picked up his acoustic guitar. He quickly pecked my cheek and took my previous spot on the couch. He had caught me off guard yet again.
"She fixed him!" Jack cheered, coming down the stairs.
"What did you say to him, Rik?" Zack asked. I opened my moth, then closed it. I couldn't speak.
"She hit me," Alex said, "Said if I didn't get my shit together, she'd cut my dick off." Jasper wrapped his arms around me and rested his head on my shoulder.
"I love how violent you are," he laughed. I still couldn't speak. I was still confused about what had just transpired. Alex looked up from the guitar he'd been strumming. He smiled at me again. Like, a legit smile. Not a smirk or cocky grin, a smile. I looked away and locked eyes with Jack briefly. He looked between the both of us oddly.
"Oh yea, Rikki," Jasper said suddenly, "I forgot I can't take you home tonight."
"What?!" That snapped me out my daze.
"Yea, sorry. My brother's in town. We're going out to dinner," he rolled his eyes, "As a family."
"I can take you home, Rikki," Alex said.
"You're in the opposite direction," Jasper stated. Alex shrugged, "Yea, but I wasn't going home straight away anyway. It's no problem. Really."
"Oh... kay..." I said slowly.
For the next two hours, band practice went on normally. Jasper left early so he could get ready for his family outing. The rest of the guys tried to come up with a set list for the show Friday. I think they got two songs set in stone, but other than that, they got absolutely nowhere.
It was about 9 when we all decided to call it a night. I reluctantly followed Alex to his car. New Found Glory was playing. We drove in a semi-awkward silence. I was so relieved when I got a text from Aiden.

New Text Message: Aiden
Text: Hey babes

I felt myself smile. Alex glanced over at my.
"Who's got you all giddy?" he asked.
"Aiden," I smiled at him. Alex instantly frowned, "Oh."
"Why do you hate him so much?"
"He's a tool. He's just going to end up hurting you." I was frowning now. He doesn't know what he's talking about. He's just jealous that I'm in a stable relationship, unlike him. We pulled up to my house and I practically jumped out the car. Alex quickly followed behind me. I tried to close the door on him, but he's just a tad stronger than me.
"i don't remember inviting you into my house," I said.
"You didn't have to." He actually stuck his tongue out at me. Why does he look so cute when he does that? I turned around in a huff. I stomped to my dad's study.
"Daddy!" I whined, "Make him go away!" My dad turned around in his swivel. He had dark bags under his eyes. He looked ridiculously tired.
"Hey Mr. S!" Alex smiled, "Good seeing you again, sir." Kissass
"Hey kids," my dad replied, "I can't help you, sweetheart. I"m working on a really important case."
"Oh...ok," I said softly, "Sorry we bothered you." I closed the door slowly. I glared at Alex and punched his arm. Why is he still here? He followed me up to my room. He threw himself down on my bed. I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes. I tossed my messenger bag onto my beanbag chair.
"Go home," I said, sitting on the edge of my bed.
"Why go home when I can be here with you?" he smirked. I quickly looked away so he wouldn't see my blush. He sat up and moved next to me. He gently grabbed my face and made me look at him. He caressed my cheeks with his thumbs.
"It's cute when you blush," he said softly. That, of course, made me blush harder. I didn't even notice him lean towards me until his lips were on mine. My eyes widened. I quickly pulled away.
"W-what are you doing?" I stammered. Alex looked at me sadly.
"Come on now, Saylor. You can't possibly be that stupid." I stood up and distanced myself from him. I wrapped my arms around myself.
"I-I think you should go."
"Rikki, I---"
"Please just go," I said quietly, "Please. I can't... I can't right now." I couldn't even look at him. He looked so heartbroken. I couldn't handle it. Alex nodded slowly. He made his doorway. He lingered there for a minute, and I have no doubt he looked back. I waited for his footsteps to disappear. As soon as I heard the front door close, I collapsed on the ground in tears.
I was terrified. I was scared about how my lips seemed to mold perfectly with his. Scared about the small spark I felt. Scared about how I've been finding him more and more attractive as the days go by. But most of all, I was terrified that I wanted to kiss him again. Part of me wishes he hadn't left. Part of me wishes he had stayed and just held me in his arms. Part of me wishes he had stayed the night again. The rest of me is still bent on hating him, but that part of me is substantially smaller than the other part.
I picked up a hoodie up off the floor and put it on. It was his. The one he gave me after my incident in the cafeteria. I rolled the sleeves over my hands. It still smelled like him. More tears slid down. I didn't know what to do. I needed someone to talk to. I took my phone out my pocket. I dialed the first person that came to mind.
"Hello?"
"J-Jack," I cried, trying so hard to hold back the tears, "I don't know what to do."
"I'm here for you, Rikki. Just tell me what happened."
"He... he kissed me. Jack, he kissed me."