The Undenying Need

The tears run down my face as I try to hold it in. The hurt. The despair. I don't understand why I feel this way. I haven't seen him in over three weeks. So what? I haven't spoken to him in four days. So what? It hurts though. I ask him if he would prefer me to stay awake and text him instead of going to sleep, because after that night I wouldn't have minutes on my phone. He should've wanted to text me right?

My heart pounds in my chest and it hurts. A lot. It's like he doesn't understand. He means so much to me. He's my real first love. Sure I've dated other guys, but I have never felt this way for them. Ever. I feel the need... It's calling me... It's a call I refuse to answer. Trying not to answer. It's so hard. It's whispering my name.

Brittanii.

Shut up! Leave me alone. I can't. I shouldn't answer you. This pain... It's making it hard not to. I just don't know what to. My heart. It's beating so loudly. I hear it. I don't know what to do!

Brittanii.

Please? Leave me alone! I'm begging you!

Brittanii.

Stop! I can't do this. The need. The awful need. It's all his fault. If only he would put forth an effort to talk to me. Why? Why won't he?!

Brittanii.

I'm giving in. I'm giving in to you! Are you happy? Now. Just look at what you've caused...