So Bitter Sweet

Tomorrow has come, I'm supposed to talk to Mya, some people would say I'm avoiding it but I'm not, I'm just waiting for the right time, and it just hasn't happened to come yet. I was thinking last night and I realized that no girl could upset me that much unless I really liked her, right? And Matt did say that she likes me to, so as I said I was thinking, maybe I should ask her out, you know on a date. That of course comes after the whole apology thing but that's a minor obstacle, well hopefully.To be honest I'm kind of scared of confronting Mya now considering that we're going to be on a moving bus until four o'clock tomorrow morning. I don't like the idea of not having an escape if things don't go well. It's already about ten o'clock so I guess the right time isn't coming.

I pushed myself off of the small couch and made my way to the back room that she constantly seemed to be occupying. Right when I took a step forward I collided with someone and we were both crashing to the floor. I landed on the floor ass first and it hurt like hell, I looked in front of me to see Mya on the floor, her face contorted in pain in a way that I could tell was identical to mine. We didn't say anything and we just looked at each other. A smile broke across her pretty face and I felt the same thing happen to me. She released a chuckle and I followed suit, next thing I knew we were both cracking up rolling around on the floor. I wasn't thinking about my stupid accusations or her hurtful comments only the sound of her musical laughter and the cold feel of the hard bus floor.

By the time we stopped laughing due to the pains in our sides we remained on the floor, steadying our struggled breaths.

"I don't want to be mad at you anymore, it's gotten tedious." Mya said.

"I don't want you to be mad at me anymore, my self esteem has dropped to dangerously low levels." I said, chuckling at the end.

"Eh, you'll be okay you think enough of yourself for everyone." She said, bumping me lightly.

"I'm sorry." I said truthfully.

"I know."

"Do you forgive me?" I asked, standing up and reaching for her hand to help her off of the floor.

"I forgave you right after you said it." She smiled, taking my hand and letting me pull her up.

She pulled me into a hug and I hugged her back, I took in her scent and soft body, the way she went up on her tip toes slightly as she hugged me.

"I'm glad we can be friends Alex." She whispered, letting go.

Wait, what does she mean by that? Did I keep the hug too long, did my hands go a little lower than 'just friendly'? What did I do to make her add that last sentence, to clarify that we were friends? Is that a sign that asking her out is a bad idea? Am I over analyzing this?

"Uh, me to." I said, finishing with a reassuring smile.

That was not me deciding to chicken out, I'm just...postponing my plans.

"Wanna watch a movie later?" Mya asked.

"Yeah, sounds good." I responded.

She nodded and went back to the back room which I will now be calling her 'Nest' she seems be there constantly. It's like her headquarters. I was okay with being friends with Mya, for now. I can do it as long as I don't look at her too much, or think about her, or listen to her voice, yeah I can do it.
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We popped in some comedy movie that was laying on top of the T.V but we didn't watch it, we just started talking. We kept putting in more movies, but they always seemed to become background noise to our conversation. We talked about everything, her childhood, her ex boyfriends, views on life, religion, her views on herself as a person. She kept trying to get the conversation to switch to something about me, she was obviously uncomfortable revealing things about herself, but I refused to let her. She was such a mystery to everyone but now I know just a little bit more than I did two hours ago. And with every word she spoke I felt myself begin to like her even more. Mya is a hand full but Matt was right when he said she was worth it, when she's on your side she has a way of making you feel special. A way of making you feel like you're perfect just the way you are and it's just the way she likes you. There's just something about her that makes you want to do anything you can to prevent her from being upset with you. I don't like her more than other girls I've been interested in and I don't like her less, I just like her differently I guess.I'm not in love with Mya, I barely know her but she just seems like a girl that I could fall in love with and that's never happened to me before. It's weird and amazing at the same time, just like her, that thought made a chuckle escape my lips and she gave me a look before turning back to the movie. That type of thing makes me even happier that my thoughts are my own.