Status: foREVer
Scream
Okay
I walked through the front door after my shopping date with all the girls and waved them goodbye. It was fun but I was happy to be home.
Home.
That was a strange thing to think. I barely even thought of my aunt’s house as my home. Home was still home, with my mom.
Johnny wasn’t in the living room and I was thankful to have a moment with myself. I let my emotions hit me like a wave. I haven’t thought of my mom in a while. There was hardly any time. Between moving, meeting my dad, his family and friends, my family. Where was the time?
My back hit the door and I slid down as I thought of her.
”Ugh, I hate this time of year,” I commented as we twisted and turned through the crowd of Christmas shoppers.
“I know it’s so horrible,” she replied.
“The awful music,”
“The shoppers,”
“The stupid movies,”
“The ugly decorations,”
“I prefer Halloween,”
“Me too, so much better,” She agreed.
I smiled; I was so much like my mom it was insane. We rushed to the snacks and got our favorite movie treat before returning to the counter, she had a day off and we were spending it watching horror movies.
I cringed at the long lines, and once again when we got to the front. The 16 year old cashier wore a horrible Santa hat with pride. How disgusting. I saw my mom visible cringe besides me.
He wore a smile as he handed us the change.
“Have a Merry Christmas,” we just smiled and rushed out of there as fast as we could.
I smiled at the memory. I wondered what my dad thought of Christmas. I wondered if I was more like him or my mom or both.
“Jasey, what’s wrong?” I looked up at Johnny and squinted my eyes before noticing the wetness on my cheeks.
I reached up and went to wipe them but Johnny grabbed my hand gently and pulled me up and into his arms. He wrapped his arms around me and I sobbed lightly into his chest.
“It’s okay Jase, let it all out,” he encouraged.
It felt good to have someone hold me and tell me it was okay, okay to cry, okay to fall apart, okay to miss her.
Home.
That was a strange thing to think. I barely even thought of my aunt’s house as my home. Home was still home, with my mom.
Johnny wasn’t in the living room and I was thankful to have a moment with myself. I let my emotions hit me like a wave. I haven’t thought of my mom in a while. There was hardly any time. Between moving, meeting my dad, his family and friends, my family. Where was the time?
My back hit the door and I slid down as I thought of her.
”Ugh, I hate this time of year,” I commented as we twisted and turned through the crowd of Christmas shoppers.
“I know it’s so horrible,” she replied.
“The awful music,”
“The shoppers,”
“The stupid movies,”
“The ugly decorations,”
“I prefer Halloween,”
“Me too, so much better,” She agreed.
I smiled; I was so much like my mom it was insane. We rushed to the snacks and got our favorite movie treat before returning to the counter, she had a day off and we were spending it watching horror movies.
I cringed at the long lines, and once again when we got to the front. The 16 year old cashier wore a horrible Santa hat with pride. How disgusting. I saw my mom visible cringe besides me.
He wore a smile as he handed us the change.
“Have a Merry Christmas,” we just smiled and rushed out of there as fast as we could.
I smiled at the memory. I wondered what my dad thought of Christmas. I wondered if I was more like him or my mom or both.
“Jasey, what’s wrong?” I looked up at Johnny and squinted my eyes before noticing the wetness on my cheeks.
I reached up and went to wipe them but Johnny grabbed my hand gently and pulled me up and into his arms. He wrapped his arms around me and I sobbed lightly into his chest.
“It’s okay Jase, let it all out,” he encouraged.
It felt good to have someone hold me and tell me it was okay, okay to cry, okay to fall apart, okay to miss her.
♠ ♠ ♠
Hi…. I kinda forgot I had an amazing story like this under my belt… *cue hate comments* it’s okay, I deserve them. Been busy with college and work.BTW that convo between her and her mom is a real one I had with my mom the other day when we went Christmas shopping lol. I hate Christmas because it reminds me of her being in prison and she hates it because it reminds her of her being in prison.