A spotlight of my own

I never liked the feeling of grass between my feet, Ice made me happy no matter how cold it was.

At the age of 5 hockey had become my life, much to my families dismay. I had first learned about the sport for Canadian men at school when one of my class-mates brought in his stick for show and tell. It seemed like such a silly concept to me when he was explaining it, “what’s the point of hockey? All you have to do is hit the puck in the net.” I had challenged the boy to explain his point of view, “It harder then you think. Try it and you’d know.”

That was all I needed, a break. At such young age having practically everything handed to you i never found a way to break out, Hockey would be just that.

As soon as I got home from school that day I told my family all about show and tell and about how I wanted to start playing hockey. My mother immediately shot it down saying it there was too much contact and she didn’t want “her little girl” getting hit by head strong boys. My brothers and father were the ones hat pushed her to say yes, they said “She should be able to do what she wants, there’s got to be girls league somewhere anyways.” Little did they know in that winter of 1997 girls hockey leagues had yet to be established, I would have to play with the boys.

I started out in the developmental-house league of the West Seneca Wings organization, but my coaches realized after our second practice I shouldn’t of been there. They had called me and my parents into a side room at the rink and told them that they encouraged me to move up to mite AAA. They’re reasoning was because I was “A natural..” At first my dad laughed thinking it was a joke but one look at the coaches faces told a different tale. “Wait you’re being serious? She’s a girl, the boys will hurt her.” My mother has a straight laced face, not smiling, not frowning, it was obvious she was contemplating what to say. “Believe us Mr. and Mrs. Jeno, You’re daughter has skill and the coach had noticed it. Plus there isn’t checking till Pee-Wee level, she’s got a while to adjust.”

I remember looking at my mother after that and using my puppy-dog eyes on her. I wanted this, even if I was 5, even if it was just after my 2nd practice, I knew I loved hockey.

“Don’t use those puppy-dog eyes with me Shauna.” She winked at me and continued talking, “Will there be much traveling? As you know my sons both play football and train season-round.”

“Don’t worry Mrs.Jeno, They play in the western new york AAA league and do a few tournaments in Toronto.”

“Well I guess it’s a go, as long as there’s no checking.”

My father and mother exchanged glances with the coaches before he finally asked, “Well when can we get the schedule?”

That was the beginning of my new life where I could be the standout, where football no longer mattered.

For the next 3 years I continued up the ranks in the West Seneca Wings organization staying at mite for one more year then moving to squirt AAA for a year then Bantam AAA for two years. at one point playing with now Chicago Blackhawk Patrick Kane when he was 13 and other far less talented 14 year olds.. The half year me and Pat played together, before I moved up again, was one of the best. Pat and I would ride to games together and we’d always be on the same team for hotel knee hockey.

After my last practice with the team before being pulled up to the Midget AAA for their end of season and league playoffs my mother told me that Patrick said to his father that he was sad for me leaving and that he “liked” me. I remember my little self blushing and starting to cry at the same time.

“Shauna… What’s wrong sweetie? Pat is just a boy.” Mother was and has always been there for me in these types of moments
“Momma Patty is my best friend, I don’t want to leave him.”

Back then I thought I’d never see or play with Patrick again, back then I didn’t really believe I had the talent to make it to the “bigs.”

At age 9 I had many coaches telling me I was too good to quit and that my domination at boy’s Midget AAA wasn’t a fluke. I had an un-mistakable talent and My father had realized it.

It was the fall of 2000, I was still 9 years old when my father helped my career path in the biggest way.

My mother decided she had had enough, I had reached as far as I could go without entering the checking league, and she didn’t want me to get seriously hurt. She had heard word that a girls AAA team would be starting in another Buffalo suburb and she wanted me to join it. My father felt differently, He knew I had the talent, he had gained friends in the professional hockey world because when he played with the Bills they would go out with the Buffalo Sabres and made some of them come watch me. They saw my talent, they only thing that they ever said would hurt me in the long run was my size.

I stood out when playing with 13-14 year olds at the age of 8 and 9 not only because of my skill and speed but because of my size. I was easily the smallest on the ice every game but it never effected my play. My teammates were my body guards anyways, they always had my back and treated me just like a “bro.”

“I’m telling’ you Tyler, You’re daughter, she’s got something.”

My father knew, he knew more then I even did about myself.

“Shauna do you want to keep playing with boys?” My father came in my room one night that fall with his world famous questioning face on.

“Yes daddy, I’ll do anything, I don’t want to play girls. All the boys say its slow!”

“Well Shauna I’m giving you this opportunity now, You do not say a word to your brothers or your mother, I have friends in Toronto that would love for you to play with them, are you up for it?”

I was confused at first because Toronto was about an hour to 2 hours away and hiding that from my family would be extremely difficult, it seemed like he was kidding with me.

“Is that a joke daddy? If it is it’s not funny, if it isn’t I’m ready to do it.”

From then on I would play boy’s AAA in Toronto until 2003, when I was 12, hiding it from everyone but my father. I used my middle name as my last while up there because my father didn’t want there to be any easy way for people figuring out exactly who I was, Sure having him at games would give it away but not to a point where my mother would find out I was playing up there from her Canadian hockey friends.

Every time my mother would ask to go to a game or practice my father would say a different lie, I remember one time him saying to my mom that the girls don’t want their moms at games because they judged their play too harshly.

My mother wasn’t stupid, after my 1st full year playing midget AAA in the Greater Toronto Hockey League she had figured it out. I was easily one the best players in the league, even though I was only 12, I had lead every stat except penalty minutes. I never realized until my mother found out, that my skill had made me stand out in GTHL not that I was the only girl in the league.

“Shauna how could you lie to me?” I remember sitting on my bed writing an essay for AP English when my mother came in with a paper in her hand, the paper as I later realized was an article from BuffaloSabres.com talking about how I was “killing every stat,” and “showing future NHLers up.”

I, the girl, was bound for greatness and my mother couldn’t believe it.

“How did you do this behind my back? Your father drove you didn’t he.” I remember nodding as she walked out of my room obviously headed to talk to my dad.

I never found out what their conversation was but I know my dad had convinced her to let me play because a month later I had the biggest decision of my life to make and my mother didn’t care which path I took as long as I never got a life-altering injury.