A spotlight of my own

I still have pictures from my disposable camera of the entrance to the infamous Shattuck Saint Mary’s. I’m still in “awh” of it to this day.

After my family had dropped me and my stuff off, helped me decorate my dorm room and said their good byes I remember going straight down to the rink expecting no one to be there. I wanted to get a jump on everyone and I figured doing a couple sprints wouldn’t hurt but as soon as I entered the doors to the rink I wasn’t alone.

A whistle blew and skates crunched under the ice as I heard people on the ice, at that point curiosity got the best of me so I headed to the glass to see what was going on, hoping whomever was on the ice would be off soon. At a young age I had developed a keen sense of being able to understand when the best time to sneak on the ice was.

“Fast isn’t it?” I think I screamed when I first heard his voice behind me… i thought it was a stranger what can you do?

“Settle down Shauna, you don’t remember me?”

“Of course I do Mr.Parise I was just frightened. Hey who are these guys?” I asked pointing toward the rink.

“That’s your team Shauna, Look big don’t they?” I was confused at first, sure I knew going in I would be playing with 18 year olds but these guys were huge, I guess they had to be in the long run.

“Yes they sure do, your sure I can play with them?”

I remember Mr.Parise laughing then grabbing my shoulders and opening the back door to the bench where the guys on the ice were getting water.

“Coach Ward my I take the lead? Alright boys listen up! This is Shauna, the one I’ve told you about, I want you to show her everything here at Shattuck in the next week, make it feel like home. Sidney?”

One of the boys with his helmet halfway off turned away from his teammate before beginning to stare at me.

“Yes Sir?”

He always had that captain trait, it was evident here.

“Include her in everything, she’s your guys new teammate beginning now.”

I relive the next moment every time I walk into an un-known place; all the boys turned around and recited exactly what this Sidney kid was doing with his eyes. They obviously didn’t think I had it in me but I would gain their respect it was only a matter of time.

“No offence Shauna but Mr.Parise with all do respect, isn’t she a bit small?” Of course a comment like that would come from the back of the huddle, I would later find out it was Jack Johnson.

“Don’t worry about her size Jack, I do my job well, she’s here for a reason, now if you’ll excuse me I must get back to work, have fun Shauna, if you need me I’m just a flick away.”

I was left that day on the bench as a 12 year old girl watching my future 18 year old male teammates practice, I still never had a doubt in my mind I could do it, I never gave up on myself back then.

The next 4 months, august thru January, would go off with a hitch. Everyday I would either be on the ice practicing, training, playing in games or on road-tips with the guys, it was heaven if you ask me. At the beginning of the year I was set on the 3rd line but eventually worked my way up to the 2nd with Jonathan Toews being my center. We clicked automatically and it felt like we didn’t even need the other winger, whom I can’t for the life of me remember his name, or defense. Every time we’d go into the offensive zone it felt like I’d score and he‘d assist, and after ever goal he’d lift me up and say “You go boom.-boom, yeah Shay!”

The nickname Boom-Boom was all thanks to future NHLer Taylor Chorney. During one of our away tournaments in Chicago the team had decided to play the game they called “Boom-Doom” which involved them taping up one of the guys that was asleep and throwing them into an elevator. Up in Canada our hotel hi-jinx were never that elaborate and the first time I asked what Boom-Doom was all the guys burst of laughing and wouldn’t stop for at least 20 minutes, supposedly it was a very popular game among American teams.

“Shauna, come on, you know what Boom-Doom is.” Taylor sputtered out between his laughing fits.

“No, I don’t, we didn’t play Boom-Boom in Toronto,” I hadn’t realized at the time they that it was “Boom-Doom” and Boom-Boom was a different drinking game they played during the summer when they were off SSM campus.

“Shauna your such a 12 year old, its Boom-DOOM. Boom-Boom is an adult game.”

From then on the team would call me Boom-Boom until the next tourney when Coach decided he liked Shay better then Shauna when calling for me to change. The team would pick up on that name too and Shauna was soon as forgotten name.

Later on in the middle of January the coaches had begun to have so much confidence in me that they’d put me in on power-plays and penalty kills, playing those in youth hockey, let alone at the AAA level, was an award.

Then came February. We were playing one of the nation’s best teams, the Detroit Little Caesars. When I had finally been checked, hard. Every game before then no one was able to get a full hit on me because of my speed, even in practice, so going into the game I was highly un-prepared.

I can’t remember how exactly it happened but it was the middle of the 3rd period, we were up 4-2. I had just scored my 7th hat-tick of the year not even minute before and had won the following face-off sending it deep in the Little Caesars zone. I was fishing a puck out of the corner in the offensive zone when all of a sudden I remember hitting the boards head first and snapping my stick in half. That was the first major hit I had ever taken, sure in the GTHL and previous Shattuck games I’d gotten hit but they’d been clean hits.
Sometimes when I flashback to the hit I can hear Jonathan holding me and yelling, “Shay… Shay, Boom-Boom, Come on, your alright, come on.”

A couple weeks later, in the beginning of March I was cleared to play full-contact again but somehow the team had found out first. The moment I stepped into our locker room I looked toward my stall and saw what the boys had done.

My equipment was put out correctly but was dripped in glitter and pink frilly stuff while above the stall there was a banner that read “Welcome back Boom-Boom Shay!” My gloves were switched with a pair of light pink Easton ones and the laces on my skates had also been changed to pink. It was then I realized the boys really did love me.

“Shay!” I had turned at just the right time to see Jon running towards me before he grabbed me and hugged me so tight I thought I couldn’t breathe.

“Jon… Can’t breathe…”

“Sorry Shay I’m just so happy you’re back! Don’t worry we got the kid back that got you too” He had set me down but still had his arm around my shoulder when the rest of the team walked in.

“BOOM-BOOOOOOM!” All of them were smiling and rushing over to either give me a hug or mess my hair up, Sidney just laughed but eventually came over and hugged me just as tight as Jon.

“So you remember it Shay?”

“I remember my stick breaking and you Jon, other then that no, I’d like some juicy details though!” I smiled towards them all.

“Well…” Begun Taylor, “You were skating down into the zone and beat the fucker from Caesars down and it looked like you were trying to turn to go behind the net then he cross-checked you from behind right into the boards. Your stick snapped in the middle and you screamed, honestly it scared the shit out of me and the rink went silent too.”

The boys all nodded then Jon decided to key me in a bit more.

“I rushed over and ripped the bitch off yah, I’m not gonna lie I said some exploitative to him and then the rest of us come over, You kept talking though Shay,” The guys let out small chuckles, leaving me confused for a moment. “You kept saying Pink Pink Pink.”

I also let out a laugh too at my stupid-ness, “Oh so you guys thought it’d be funny for me to relive the moment every time I rock that?” I said pointing towards the gloves.

The rest of my first year at Shattuck had gone phenomenally with us winning the 2005 USA Hockey u18 Tier 1 National Championship. Along the way me and Jon had become really good friends I learned I could rely on him for practically anything, even more then I could with Kris from my GTHL team. Jon had turned into another brother and I remember our last day together more vividly then anything.

“You know I’m not going to be here next year right Shay?” Jon said as we finished un-tying our skates while the rest of the team was likely eating dinner or packing, Jon and I decided an extra final our hour of hockey before parting ways wouldn’t hurt.

“I know Jonny, But you’ll remember me right?” I looked up and smiled at him

“Shay my darling, how could I ever forget you? I mean its not everyday you get to play with a 13 year old female allstar!” I laughed at his comment but continued to keep a straight face.

“Jon you’re like the brother I wish I’d always had… I don’t want this to end.”

“Me either Shay but soon enough we’ll be playing together again, I may be at North Dakota next year but you can always call me or come visit. Next year you’ll be leading this team though Shay and I hope you recognize you don’t need me anymore.”

“What do you mean Jon?” I honestly had no idea what he was talking about as I took off my skates, knee pads and socks, leaving my pants and jersey on, “Hang on, Let me go to the bathroom and change while you do the same.”

I would never tell anybody this but as I was un-changing I started crying, not all because Jon was leaving but because I had become so close with this team and only 3 of us would be returning.
“What I was trying to say Shay is next year, when I’m gone, I know you’ll do great… I can tell you don’t think you will without me but Shay you need to be on a line where you can do control every play. You’re that good.”

His words were the truth. For my next 4 years at Shattuck I would lead the team in goals, assists and +/-. We would win a few more National titles but none would mean the most as my 2005 medal. Jonny, Sidney, Taylor and a few others would periodically text me telling me their news and I’d also share mine. All of my boys from that team would play at least college hockey with Sid, Jon, Taylor and Jack all reaching the NHL. Seeing them succeed that way would only push me more, eventually making me push myself to far.

Throughout my years at Shattuck I would play with many great players including Jon’s younger brother David, Emerson Etem and Derek Steppan but none would compare to my 2005’ers and they knew that going in. Each year from ‘06 on I would be named captain and lead every stat which would lead to talk from not women’s D.1 schools but men’s. Even at a young age the NHL was calling my name.

In all my Shattuck years I’d spend the summers with the u20 women’s national team, leading them in every stat, in every world championship and invitational. It never occurred to me that other girls would become jealous of me but in 2009, my final year at Shattuck, I encountered the most envious person I’d ever meet.

Rebbeca Jazouwiki was a senior left wing on the Shattuck u19 girls team and by far their best player, she had colleges calling her every night it seemed. Coach Ward would tell me whenever I saw her watching our practices, most likely just watching and judging me, that she was nowhere near as good as me. She might be the best girls hockey player but it didn’t matter, I was one of the best boys hockey players in the world.

I remember somewhat the time she came up to me after my practice when I was leaving with one of my teammates.

“So you’re too good for girls hockey eh?” I realized right then that she was Canadian and that’s why I had never played with her on the National team.

“No, I just like checking.” I must of sounded like an idiot but I had no idea what to say… she was bigger then me height-wise and defiantly intimidating.

“Well just make sure when we play each other in the Olympics you watch you’re back. I don‘t care how good you think you are I‘ll beat you. You‘re nothing.”

From then on that would be all the motivation I needed for my senior year, my stats would double, leaving me with 54 goals, 61 assists and a +37 rating throughout our 79 games. Every college wanted me but I knew exactly where I wanted to go. I wanted to win a college National Championship and I would stop at nothing to get one.

“So Shauna Jeno where will you be bringing your talents to next year?” TSN’s Bob McKenzie. TSN had stalked me till I told them I’d allow them to be at my signing of my letter of intent.

“Well I’ve thought long and hard about this, as many of you know I have ties to practically every college team but I feel like Boston College will offer me the best shot at winning a college National Championship.”

A thunderous applause followed while I picked up the BC jersey in front of me and put it on, My parents were besides me crying while my brothers, wearing their respective college hats were cheering. Everything seemed perfect in that moment, Except for the fact that none of my 2005 boys had talked to me in the past 4 months.