Priceless & Broken

As I walked out to the car, I began sobbing. Part of me wanted to run and jump in Nick's arms and forgive him for everything, but the other part told me to run and stay away. I was going to listen to that part.

I stared back at the house as Miley drove away. I had no idea it was going to be this hard. Miley stopped by the Jonas' and went in and got Stormy. Denise walked outside onto the porch with a smile on her face, but instantly frowned when she saw my expression from the car. I looked into her eyes and shook my head before turning and looking out my window.

Miley carried Stormy upstairs and answered all her questions.

I took the picture off the wall, went into the bathroom, and shut the door. I got my blade out and crawled into the bathtub. I didn't bother shedding my clothes. I flipped the shower on and sat there as the water poured over my sore body. I looked at the picture of myself and Nick in the frame. I closed my eyes and went back to the day it was taken. We were on a family vacation down in Hawaii. We were sixteen -- young and in love. We were on the beach watching the sun set when Denise came out and took the picture.

My hand trembled as I raised the blade up to my wrist. Tears raced down my cheeks as I sliced my wrist over and over again. I needed pain. I needed pain coming from somewhere else besides my heart.

I dropped the blade and curled up into a ball gripping the frame and cried. I cried because Nick and I were really done. I cried because I didn't understand how I could love someone so much even after they've hurt me. I cried for Stormy. She was going to grow up without her father in her life. She's going to be stuck being a mama's girl. Nick's not going to be there to pick her up when she falls. He's not going to be there when she begins dating, and he's not going to be there when her heart is broken for the first time.

There was a knock on the door.

"Aubrey? You've been in there for over an hour. What are you doing?"

I didn't answer. I couldn't answer. I broke my silence and sobbed for the first time since I got home.

Miley pushed the door open and uttered something under her breath. She turned off the shower and moved the curtains out of the way. She grabbed several towels and laid them on me.

"Aubrey, come on and get out. You're gonna get sick. Why are you bleeding?" She grabbed my wrist. "No. No. No. Aubrey this isn't safe. It's very unhealthy."

"I know," I cried out.

"Then, why do you do it?" She asked helping me out of the tub.

"It's my escape from everything. It takes my mind off the pain."

"So, to keep your mind off the pain you cause yourself more pain?" Miley asked utterly confused.

"It doesn't cause me pain, though. I like the feeling of the blade sinking into my flesh, and then watching the blood flow out." I instantly stopped crying.

"I think it's best if we leave town tonight. It's not safe for you to be alone with Stormy. I know Stefanie's down there, but she can't stay and watch you every second of the day. I'm moving in with you, and you're not refusing. Now, I'm going to go pack. Change into some dry clothes and be ready to leave in an hour." Miley left me sitting on the floor of the bathroom.

I looked around the room helpless. I had no idea what to do.

***

I closed the trunk to my car and turned around as two car doors shut. I opened my trunk quickly and grabbed the picture that I had been cradling not too long ago. I stared at it for what seemed like a lifetime when it had only been a few seconds.

"Joe! Kevin!" I called out, shocked at how hoarse my voice was.

I felt the two sets of eyes on me. I slowly made my way over towards them.

"Take this. Give it to Nick, throw it away, or keep it. I don't care. I just don't need it haunting me anymore." I handed them the frame.

Joe slowly nodded, sticking his hand out to take the picture from me.

"I'm, uh, leaving tonight. I don't want to cause any more trouble." I wrapped my sore arms around my body.

"When are you coming back?"

I looked down at my feet.

"You aren't coming back are you?"

I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"I think I've done enough damage around here. It's time to move on and forget," I spoke, looking up and past them, down the street. When the silence was too much to bare, I asked, "Will you guys do something for me?"

"Anything," Kevin finally responded from beside Joe.

"Make sure Nick gets his life in order. Get him to go back to work. Help him move on. Help him forget his feelings and find another person to love." I whispered the last part because I didn't know if I trusted my voice.

It was honestly hard thinking about Nick loving someone else, but I knew that it'd pay off in the end. Joe silently agreed.

"Well, I guess this goodbye," I said, taking a deep breath.

Joe pulled me into a hug. I took in his scent and sniffed back the tears that were trying so hard to break loose. I put on my best smile as I pulled away and hugged Kevin. I pulled away and took a step back. I gave a small wave as I turned around and walked back towards my house.

Everything was finally sinking in. I was leaving L.A. for good. Arizona was now officially my home.