Priceless & Broken

I looked around the dark arena. Where did everyone go? I had fallen asleep in Nick's dressing room and when I woke up, he wasn't there. I took my cell phone out and used its light to guide me down the long, dark hallways. I could hear the roaring fans outside. I knew the bus hadn't left yet. I saw a light at the end of the hallway. I started running toward it, praying it was a door. I shoved my phone back in my pocket and pushed the door open.

Heads turned and everyone got quiet. I let my eyes roam the crowd; their faces were solemn. Then, I heard a voice speak up, "Is that her?"

I shot my head towards where I heard the voice. I was utterly confused. Why was everyone quiet and looking at me like that?

A magazine fell to the ground. I bent down and saw the front page. There was a picture of me and Nick, and the heading was in bright red letters: "Nick Jonas Cheating on Aubrey?" I looked forward and saw the bus. I took a few small steps forward until I began jogging up to the bus. I pulled open the door and heard noises and voices.

My eyebrows bunched up as I walked up the stairs. Everything felt like it was in slow motion. I heard moaning. I heard Nick's raspy voice. I heard a voice call out Nick's name. My eyes began burning as I slowly walked to where the noises were coming from.

My breath caught in my throat as I saw what was going on before me. I closed my eyes and tried to back up, but -- me being me -- I tripped, causing a thump when I hit the floor. Everything got quiet. All the noises stopped. I heard the one voice that sent me over the edge.

"Aubrey, it's not --"

I shook my head violently telling him to stop. "How COULD you? Why would you do this to me? Nick, we have a DAUGHTER!"

I looked up at him. I could barely see; my tears were blurring my vision.

I stood up and took a step towards Nick. I could see the other girl standing there. I pushed past Nick and went after her. I swung once and hit her in the face, causing a bloody nose. Nick's toned arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me away.

"You stupid slut! You ruined my life!" I cried out as fat tears rolled down my cheeks. I pulled away from Nick and walked into the living room.

Nick stood in the doorway and stared at me. He didn't bother to comfort me. I wiped my eyes and looked up.

"Can you call me a cab? I'm not staying here."

He pulled out his phone as I went to go pack.

I jumped up and looked around my room. I wiped away the tears from my eyes and stood up from my bed. It wasn't the first time I've had the dream; it's just been awhile since I've had it.

I walked across the hall, peered into Stormy's room, and saw her sound asleep. I made my way through the living room and out the back door onto the deck.

***

A few hours had passed. The morning sun was out and shinning bright. I didn't bother getting up and going inside. My head turned when the door behind me opened. Miley appeared with Misty at her feet.

"Good morning, love!"

I sheepishly smiled, but said nothing.

"How long have you been out here?"

I shrugged before answering, "A few hours."

"Why did you get up?" Miley was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. "I'll get it," she muttered before disappearing back into the house.

Minutes passed, and I heard arguing inside the house. I stood up, out of curiosity, and went into the house. Garrett and Miley were fussing back and forth... about me.

"What's going on?"

Miley stopped mid-sentence and looked at me. "I was trying to get him to leave."

"Aubrey, what's going on here?"

My eyes flickered to Garrett's.

"I think... we need to talk," I said slowly, "Let's go outside." I turned around and led the way to the porch swing I was formerly sitting on.

My palms began sweating as Garrett looked at me, waiting for me to begin.

"Garrett, I think, um, I-I think we should b-break up." I looked down at my hands in my lap.

"What's going on, Aubrey? We were fine before you left and now... now, you want to break up? What happened in L.A.?"

I could see Garrett was starting to get impatient. "I grew up, okay? I learned a lot when I visited my parents. There are things you don't know about me. Garrett, I didn't mean for this to happen."

"For what to happen?"

"This relationship. You were just a guy that I liked to hang out with to keep my mind off of my past. Then, things began to get out of hand. I didn't mean for this to go on three years."

"So, what are you trying to say?"

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I only think of you as a friend."

Garrett stood up from the swing with his fist clenched at his sides and began pacing. "So, you used me? You led me on for three years? This is ridiculous! I didn't think you could get this low! I was wrong about you."

There was nothing I could do to stop the tears from rolling down my face.

"Garrett, please. I didn't mean any harm." I reached my hand out to stop Garrett from pacing and wasn't the least bit shocked when he jerked away.

"Aubrey, I'm not going to lie. I'm hurt -- I really am. I'm done here. And, I'm done with you. I no longer want anything to do with you!"

"Garrett, can't we just... forget this ever happened? Can't we... be friends?" I pleaded, falling on my knees.

He didn't hesitate and immediately shook his head. "No! I'm leaving. I'm sorry that it ended like this."

He looked at me one last time before walking through the house and slamming the front door closed.

I sat on the deck and sobbed.

Why was it that I lost everything? No matter what happened, I was at fault. This was too much for me. I was only twenty-two, and I've had a divorce. Maybe, I wasn't meant to be living. Maybe, it was time to do everyone a favor and end my life.