Don't Tell Your Mom the Babysitter Was in My Bed

What the hell am I thinking? Going to a stranger's house, getting a job, and falling- I mean, crushing on my boss. This is bullshit. I'm stupid and what I've done is humiliating,. I need to get out of here. I spread my clothes out all over the room trying to find an outfit to wear. I didn't know where I was going, but wherever I end up, I'm going to be wearing a pretty dress. I don't know why I'm going or why I've chosen this outfit, but I have and I am. I walked back down the stairs of Johnny's house and heard him choke on his beer when he saw me.

"Johnny, you have an alcohol problem." I told him quietly as I finished making my coffee.

"Where the hell are you going like that?" he asked, sitting his beer down.

"I don't know... I just wanna be alone. I want to go somewhere nice and get a drink." I told him truthfully.

"I recommend Aloha Grill." Johnny said looking down at the newspaper that he had been reading.

"So is this what you do every morning? Drink beer and read the newspaper? I didn't even know you could read." I told him truthfully.

"I can do a lot of stuff that you don't know about, Lacey." he replied in a flirty voice. I chuckled at him. Maybe he is capable of a lot of things. I seriously need to get him off of this drinking habit. It's worrying me. Maybe if I occupy him, he won't drink as much.

"You wanna go out with me tonight?" I asked him in a sweet voice.

"I don't think I have anything fancy enough." he chuckled.

"I think you do." I called him on his shit. He chuckled once more and then he was silent for a moment.

"Lacey, I noticed that you always want to go back to ole' Johnny when things go bad with Matt. Look, you're a beautiful woman and I'd love to go on a date with you..." he trailed off, trying to think of words that didn't offend me-no doubt.

"But?" I asked him, attempting to speed up his answer.

"I don't want to be number two." he told me with a sweet smile. So does this mean that he likes me more than a friend? I just gave him a sweet smile to show him that I know exactly how he feels and then I looked down. That's how I feel about Matt. I don't want to always be number two and if I'm with Matt, I always will be because he'll never leave Val.

"I know what you mean, Johnny. I just want you to go with me as a friend this time."

"You mean that?" he asked me. I noticed his eyes sparkle.

"Yes, I do." I confirmed, nodding my head.

"You have to call Matt, remember?"

"Fuck Matt." I spat, sitting down beside of him.

"Go get ready! Shoo!" I told him loudly, waving him away. He chuckled at me and did just that.

~Matt's POV~

"Val, are you okay?" I whispered, peering my head into the women's restroom.

"NO!" I heard her yell before I heard the noise of someone throwing up. That someone must be Val. Shit. I planned to get it in tonight...Guess not...

"Uh...should I call someone? What should I do?" I asked, stepping closer into the bathroom.

"Come hold my hair." she told me in between her gagging.

"What's wrong? How did you get so sick?" I asked, ignoring her request. She didn't answer, she just kept vomiting. After a moment, a woman that I didn't recognize came out of one of the stalls. She gave me the oddest look before washing her hands and swiftly walking out of the bathroom. Finally, Val emerged from the puke stall. She walked towards me and I quickly backed away.

"What is it?" she asked, giving me a strange look.

"You're sick and I can't afford to be sick, too." I told her, taking another step back.

"True...someone has to watch Lyric." she told me with a chuckle. She thinks that it's funny.

"Yeah. They do. I'm gonna go call you a cab so you can go home and rest. I'll be there in a little bit after I take care of some business." I walked out of the bathroom and stepped outside to make the call.

~Lacey's POV~

"So, this place is good?" I asked, smelling a strange smell as I walked passed the bathroom.

"They have awesome bread sticks." he told me as he took my hand and pulled me on past the bathroom.

"It smells like shit over there." I bluntly stated.

"Someone must've got sick." he replied with a shrug.

"If someone got sick, then maybe we shouldn't eat here." I stated, looking up at Johnny with a concerned expression on my face.

"Nah, I've ate here many of a time!" he said in a hillbilly-ish voice. I chuckled at him and looked around the place. The walls were yellow, covered with lots of white flowers. It was beautiful and elegant, just as I had hoped. The lighting was dim and the dishes, wine glasses, and silverware shone like they was the most beautiful treasure on the planet. There were a lot of couples eating together and a lot of families. I noticed a table in the corner where someone was eating alone. I took a double take when the person in the shadows looked familiar. It was Matt. He was sitting there all alone and he looked pretty sad. I couldn't help but wonder why he was here alone and what brought the sad expression to his face. Or maybe it's just the fact that he's sitting alone that makes him look sad. Maybe he's not sad at all. My heart skipped a beat when I saw his sunglasses glisten and then I noticed another glisten from his wedding ring. I then remembered everything that had happened and quickly looked away with a huff.

"I forgot to mention that Matt eats here..." Johnny said with a little embarrassment in his voice.

"You couldn't have known that he'd be here... but it's okay. Let's just go about our own business." I told him, making sure I had a seat when I couldn't see Matt's face. He sat behind me in the far distance, all I would have to do to see him is turn my head left. I kept telling myself not to look because I knew that I would like what I saw and I didn't want to be drawn to him in any way. He was just playing games with me, he doesn't like me at all, probably. He just wanted to get in my pants... which behold, did not happen.

"So what should we order? Bread sticks?" I asked, gazing through the menu. I appear to have completely forgotten about Matt, but I still can't keep my mind off of him. Just having him in the same room is killing me inside.

"For sure. I don't know what any of this other shit is." he replied, I chuckled at his cluelessness.

"We'll have bread sticks and wine then." I told the waiter. He nodded and made his way back to what I assumed was the kitchen. I sighed, fighting my desire to look back over at Matt. I had to think of something to say to Johnny.

"So what have you been up to lately?" All I know is he drinks beer a lot.

"I've been writing a lot of music lately. That's mostly all I've been doing. If you've noticed I'm sitting at the table drinking beer a lot." he told me with a smile.

"I never saw you working on a song, though. Usually you look at a newspaper or watch tv." I said, tilting my head to the side.

"That's just me trying to get inspired by something." he told me with a shrug.

"So what has inspired you so far?" I asked, curiosity evident in my voice.

"You." he said, looking into my eyes. My eyes widened at his seriousness and I smiled at him.

"Seriously? I inspire you? How so?" I asked, tilting my head again.

"I see the way you look at Matt. I wish someone would look at me that way. I can tell you're dying to look over at him right now." he told me, obviously reading me like a book. I blushed and looked down. We stopped talking as the waiter brought our bread sticks and wine. They poured my wine glass up and I immediately took a large gulp of it.

"Why am I so fucked up? I wish it was you instead of Matt, I really do." I told him as honestly as I could. I honestly didn't want anyone but Matt and I don't want to want anyone but Matt, but it would be best for me if I found someone like Johnny. I sat there and thought about everything. There are two things I can do. I can try and move on with Johnny, which would be unfair to both of us... or I can leave. If I stay here with Johnny in his life, I'm always going to want Matt. He can see the way I look at Matt and I'm afraid I can never look at him the same way...but I could try. Who am I kidding? I'm fucking up everything for everyone and the best thing I can think of is to leave. Where will I go, you ask? To my brother in Cleveland. That's the only family I have left. He probably wouldn't even recognize me since I haven't talked to him in years.

"You know what, Johnny? What if there is someone who looks at you the way I look at Matt...Maybe you just never noticed. If you pay attention, you might be surprised." I told him. It was a shot in the dark, I know, but what if? I bet there is someone who gets a fuzzy feeling every time he looks their way.

"You may be right..." he trailed off, looking behind me. I wondered what he was looking at, but my question was quickly answered by a familiar voice.

"Couldn't help but to notice you guys. Especially you, Lacey." Matt's voice rung though as he came into my view. He looked me up and down and smiled .I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my wine. He grabbed a bread stick from our basket and took a bite.

"Why don't you join us?" I asked sarcastically, looking away from him. I couldn't stand to look him in the eyes.

"I think I will." he said, turning the chair backwards and sitting in it.

"So whatcha guys up to?" he asked when Johnny nor I said anything.

"Trying to have a peaceful dinner." Johnny spat in a way that Matt didn't realize that it was a comment against his presence.

"What brings you here?" Johnny asked, grabbing a bread stick and shoving it in his mouth. I think I'm too upset to eat now.

"Well, I was here with Val, but she got sick and had to go home." I almost chocked on my wine when he said that. He looked over at me with an amused look on his face.

"But now that I see Lacey is here, I'd actually like to have a talk with her." he added, looking down at me. I sighed and looked up at him.

"Five minutes." I said sternly, looking back over at Johnny.

"I'll be back in five minutes, Johnny." I told him before standing from my chair and heading outside. I didn't even make sure that Matt was following me, I just walked. I dread this conversation because I know that he's going to beg me to come back. But I won't. I can't give in.

"Talk." I said, crossing my arms. I started to shiver because it was kind of chilly outside.

"How the fuck are you cold?" he asked with an amused look on his face. He took his coat off and wrapped it around me. I snuggled into it by habit. I could smell his cologne on it, but I chose to ignore it.

"What do you want, Matt?" I asked him, trying to remain calm.

"Honestly?...You." he answered my question with a shrug.

"How can you say shit like that to me? You're married and you have a kid. You can't have me, Matt. I'm not some little slut trophy like the rest of them were." I was starting to feel angry.

"Rest of them? What the hell do you mean?" he asked with a frown.

"Look, I'm not stupid, Matt, I know I'm not the only one."

"Well, maybe you're not the only one, but you are the only one I've ever loved." his words made me stop breathing. Love? Neither of us have mentioned love before. There's no way he could love me!

"Love? Who the hell said anything about love?!" I was offended, that is just going WAY too far.

"Yes, love. I said love, because I. Love. You." he told me slowly. I shook my head and I had to turn my back to him. I can't handle this.

"The fucking nerve you have! You don't love me, Matt! Is this funny to you?" I felt tears filling my eyes. He placed his hands on my shoulders and pulled me around so that he could see me.

"Do I looked amused to you? Look, I don't give a shit if you come back to work, but I love you and I don't want to lose you. I want you in my life." he confessed.

"Matt, if I stay here, it's just going to be the same shit. You're never going to leave Val and I'm always going to be number two... I just can't live like that." I told him, feeling warm tears fall from my face. He wiped them away...out of habit, I guess.

"What? What do you mean stay here? You're leaving?" he asked, looking stunned. Shit, I've said too much. I didn't mean for it to come out that way.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. I can't stay here like this. I have nowhere to go, nowhere to work...There's just nothing here for me anymore."

"Johnny doesn't give a shit that you live with him. Hell, you can always work for us... Look, I don't want you to go. If I just leave you alone will you please stay?" he pleaded with a saddened look on his face. Was he about to cry? He looked like he almost would.

"Matt, I don't think I could bear it if you just left me alone. I can't see you every day...and want something that I can never have." I explained the best I could. He thought for a moment.

"Then what? You're confusing me. You want me, you don't want me... You want me in your life, you don't?"

"I want you more than anything and I want you in my life, but you'll never truly be mine... so I can't stay and do this to myself...and you."

"So this is it, then? Your final answer?" he asked angrily. I looked at him and another tear slid out of my eye.

"Goodbye, Matt." I told him before walking back into Aloha Grill.