Don't Tell Your Mom the Babysitter Was in My Bed

"So, basically, you're saying that Matt doesn't even know if I'm in the country or not?" I asked, clutching to Johnny's hand as if I was dangling off of a building and he was the only thing keeping me from falling.

"Yeah, pretty much." he replied, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. It didn't help, I was shaking and I was also a little cold.

"Calm down and stop worrying about Matt. You're here with me and for me. Matt doesn't even exist." he said, wrapping his arms around me as we walked into the medium-sized building. His words seemed as if he were trying to convince himself instead of me...It was crowded inside, lots of diverse people of all different race and color. The room was dim, only lit with white Christmas lights. The lights lightly illuminated the black, glittery walls. The room was almost set up like an award ceremony. The stage was at the front of the room and instead of having rolls of seats, like in a theater, they had tables all around the room. The tables were black with only a small, white candle to light them. The candle reflected off of champagne glasses and dimly lit the faces around them. There were place cards with different names on them.

Johnny and I found our spot quickly, our 'Johnny +1' card. Little did everyone know, I am not simply just a plain ole '+1' for Johnny. Unlike all of his- probably blonde- bimbos, I actually had history with this group of people. Not just the normal history either, I'm talking some juicy shit! Luckily, Johnny and I were the first ones who had made our way to the table, although I could see Brian and his +1 standing over an older man over near the corner of the room. The older man had such likeness to Brian that I almost thought it was his father, but I had seen Papa Gates once before and I knew that it couldn't be him. It must be an uncle or someone... Johnny and I sat there seeming to be as calm as anything, although I was frozen stiff and I was shaking...although I had a thin layer of sweat coating the palms of my hands.

My eyes flickered across the room only to land on the most familiar person in there. Matt Sanders. He didn't notice me and he had a pretty red head on his arm. Why hadn't he brought Val? Johnny told me that it wasn't his place to tell me about her and Matt...so maybe they broke up? Maybe he's just cheating on her... I mean, it's not like he hasn't ever done that. Duh, with me! I'm such a horrible person, I thought about how it must feel to know that someone you love is cheating on you. It must be sheer pain, life threatening, gut-wrenching pain. I almost feel the same way looking into Val's eyes. Such jealousy, heart shattering pain, knowing that she'll always be above you and that she'll always win, no matter what. It's almost as if she doesn't know what she has. Oh, how I would cherish Matt, had he ever be mine. I would never let him go, but what if it's Matt instead of Val? What if he's the lucky one and he has yet to realize? What if all it takes is for Matt to leave Val to have him run back into her arms like he did when they were young. To feel all of that love again. Sometimes, though, love isn't enough. That is the sad part. The worst feeling in the whole world is to love someone when they can never return the feeling. Maybe that's how Matt felt before I realized that I loved him too. But does he still love me? He's probably moved on and if I think otherwise, then I'm just insane. I immediately scolded myself for thinking so deep about Matt and my feelings for him. I'm supposed to forget all about Matt. but I thought Johnny was supposed to make me forget about him. Which was about to happen as Johnny immediately pressed his lips to mine. I gasped as he kissed me because I honestly wasn't expecting that- not in a place like this. After a second, I warmed up to his kiss, remembering that I am supposed to be with Johnny now. To be honest, I was sort of disappointed. Our first kiss should have been special and more romantic. Not in a room full of drunk people staring at us with amusement. As if they were saying 'Stupid kids. It'll be gone before you know it.' Maybe our expectations were, in fact, too high as kids. I liked the way it made me feel, though. I felt like a kid again. Making out in public, if that's not juvenile, then I don't know what is.

"Christ! Stop making out with the help!" I heard Matt's all-too-familiar voice call to Johnny in a jokingly way. I almost felt offended, but then I thought better of it because I knew Matt hadn't even realized that it was me.

"You got to. Why can't I?" Johnny replied in a harsh tone. This made my eyes widen and my face turn red. I can't believe they're talking about me! Matt's eyes looked annoyed for a moment and then turned back to a soft kindness as they flickered over to me. His eyes immediately widened and he looked like he had seen a ghost. I smiled politely at him, a blush still on my face. It wasn't likely that he would notice because he was still so surprised to seem me.

"Lacey?" he said my name in a specific way that I still can't explain.

"Yep. Long time, no see." I replied to him with a shrug. Johnny gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, as if telling me to calm down.

"For real! How the hell have you been?" he asked me, only he didn't listen to the answer to my question because the red headed bi- I mean +1 interrupted.

"Mattyyyy, we should dance." she told him in a drunk, bubbly tone. I rolled my eyes and looked over to see Brian and his date sit down beside of me. Great. More drama to come...or not...maybe I should make peace with the beast. After all, I'm starting a new beginning.

"Hey Brian." I greeted him with my friendliest smile. He smirked back at me, I could almost hear the smart-ass remark forming in his brain.

"You're the bitch who hates me! Lacey, right?!" he asked with amusement in his voice. I pursed my lips and nodded my head. His date's eyes snapped to me, immediately. I almost gasped at her likeness to Val. She looked exactly like her! Only her hair was highlighted with brown and auburn.

"I believe we're going to be best friends." she stated firmly, reaching out to shake my hand. I shook it gladly.

"I'm Michelle." she said with a smirk.

"Michelle, nice to finally meet you!" I told her, acting as if I was more excited than I actually was. This was Lyric's aunt that he stayed with a lot. Val's twin sister. If she didn't have such an awesome personality, I'd probably hate her too, just for looking like Val. The one woman who was always going to win. Michelle then started talking to Zacky and his beautiful, blonde, date when they joined up.

"Sorry for being such a bitch to you." I told Brian, looking down. He just smirked and laughed out a breath of air.

"Ahhh, I'm used to it." he said, pointing his thumb behind him to Michelle. I giggled at his joke and turned my head back around, only to see Matt quickly look away from me. He had been staring at me the whole time. Huh, what does that mean? Is that a sign?

Zacky didn't say a word to me, pretty much letting me know that he didn't remember me, which was fine, considering the fact that we hadn't really spoken that much. It didn't offend me and I definitely wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

The table got quiet as I sipped on my wine and finally, the show started. It was a bunch of different bands playing, most of them I didn't recognize, but I recognized some for just doing a good job. The show was fun, but over almost too quickly and Johnny and I decided to go to Matt's after party. Johnny was pretty concerned about going to one of Matt's parties because of me, but I assured him that it would be okay. I didn't want him to miss out on things just because of me. So, I'll try my best to be good. No kissing Matt, not talking to Matt. Pretty much me, avoiding Matt. Every time he would casually try to step up to me or in my group, I'd walk away as if I hadn't noticed him. He became frustrated after a while and just gave up... or maybe he wasn't trying to be near me. Maybe he was trying to talk to someone else that was around me and I was just making all of this up in my head. I wished that to be true when he finally cornered me when I went outside to dip my feet in the water as I smoked a cigarette and sipped on a Budweiser.

"Hey Lacey." he said casually, sitting next to me.

"Hey." I replied politely, trying not to look into his eyes. His beautiful, big pools of gold that I could get myself lost in. I didn't want to see him smile either because his dimples might just make me cry.

"Where's Christ?" he asked me, referring to Johnny. Apparently he had gotten the idea that Johnny and I were an item and was afraid to piss him off. Matt? Afraid? Who am I kidding?

"Passed out in the guest bedroom." I told him, letting out a puff of smoke.

"That's bad for you, ya know?" he pointed to my Marlboro Red. I shrugged.

"Since when do you care?" I replied coldly. He let out a sigh and moved farther away from me.

"Listen, you're the one who fucking walked away, not me. If you think you're gonna come back and date Johnny like this", he points a finger at me and then him at least two times,"never happened, you've got another thing coming, sweetheart. Johnny may be stupid as fuck, but he's not that stupid. He knows you can really never love him. Not the way you love me. I can see it in your eyes." he stated harshly before leaving me to my own thoughts. Guilt. is the only word I can come up with.