Don't Tell Your Mom the Babysitter Was in My Bed

Fake friendship mode with Matt? I don't know about that. I can never let Johnny see me look at him or be that close to him. Why? Because I'm afraid that he'll see right through us. You might ask me why I'm with Johnny if we've already established that I'm in love with Matt. Because I want to make sure that Matt's confession is legit. He said he would wait for me and just be my friend for a while. If he can do that without hooking up with another woman, then maybe I could be with him someday. Is that really fair, though? I'm with Johnny and I get to hook up with him (Matt never said anything about hooking up, though). It may seem like I'm just using Johnny again, but what you don't know is that Johnny and I have grew so much closer in the 4 weeks that we've been together. I think I'm starting to form some type of feelings for him. That makes things even more complicated. Matt and I have only spoken a few times since we're all back in California again. I'm shacked up with Christ now-a-days. I mean, I live with Johnny. 

I was sitting on the couch watching Rob Dyrdek's Ridiculousness and petting Hollywood when Johnny came in and sat down next to me. I didn't pay any attention to him because I was too busy laughing at Rob making fun of a guy who fell through the floor. 

"Babe, you wanna go to Matt's pool party?" he asked me, pulling my mind from the television. 

"When is it?" I asked, trying to sound indifferent. 

"Uh...right now." he replied with a shrug. 

"Sure. Just let me change and put my bathing suit on." I told him, turning the tv off and heading towards the stairs.  

"Wanna go Hollywood? Wanna go with Mommy and Daddy?" he baby talked to the dog as I walked away. Mommy and Daddy? Those words always scare me. What if that is me and Johnny someday? What if a condom breaks? Will I be bound to Johnny forever?Matt wouldn't want anything to do with me if I got pregnant with Johnny's kid. I won't get pregnant. Stop thinking like that. I pushed it out of my head as I changed. 

~35 Minutes Later~

"Lacey, what do you want to drink?" Matt called from the door. I was sitting in his hot tub with my hair up in a messy bun and my sunglasses were fogging up.  

"Grey Goose and Cranberry Juice." I requested with a smirk. I knew that he had some and I also knew that he'd be drinking it as well. He smiled at me and disappeared back inside where Johnny and Zacky were. I was sitting in the hot tub with Brian, Michelle, and Gena. I was quiet as I sat there thinking about Matt for the millionth time. I saw Matt reappear outside to grab some empty beer bottles off of the table. I checked his shirtless self out completely, slowly taking in every part of his body. He felt my eyes on his body and he turned to me and gave me a wink that made my face turn blood red. I quickly looked away hoping that no one else noticed that.   I can't believe he caught me checking him out! Soon, Johnny hopped back into the hot tub and handed me my drink. 

"Matt mixed that for ya." he told me as I took it out of his hand. I nodded as if it didn't make a difference and took a drink. I leaned into him as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I found myself thinking of Matt's body again. I completely craved it, even if it was against my will. It has been too long since I felt Matt's lips on mine. I made sure that Matt was still inside when I excused myself to the bathroom. I knew that Johnny wouldn't follow, as he completely trusted me now. I walked by Matt without even looking at him and grabbed his hand. I pulled him into the bathroom with me and locked the door behind us. I pushed him against the door and looked at him hungrily. 

"Why the fuck aren't you wearing a shirt?! You're driving me crazy!" I told him breathlessly as my eyes filled with lust when I looked his body over again. He chuckled at my words. 

"I could say the same thing." he replied calmly. He placed his hands and my hips and pulled me closer to him. Our hips touched and I was completely pressed up against him. 

"You want me to kiss you, dontcha?" he asked me. I could hear the amusement in his voice. I bit my lip and breathed out a ragged breath. Before I could say anything, he gently pushed me out of his way and moved to the other side of the room. What's up with that? I wondered, feeling annoyed. 

"Is there something you wanted to talk to me about?" he asked, in an almost annoyed voice. 

"Yes. Reasons why you shouldn't wear that in front of me when I'm seeing someone else." I was supposed to be joking, but I also felt serious. He just chuckled at me and looked down at his feet. 

"No, I just wanted to ask you..." I trailed off, contemplating phrases. 

"What is it? Don't be scared. It's just me." he reassured me. 

"It's hard not to be scared when you're looking at me that way."

"I'm sorry. I just don't know how else to look at you..." he told me, blinking his eyes and furrowing his eyebrows, trying to make himself look at me different. I chuckled at his attempt. 

"I'm just gonna say it...Are you seeing other people?" I asked him quickly. I hoped that he wouldn't ask me to repeat myself. 

"I...Uh...Why, you jealous?" he asked me with an amused smirk on his face. 

"No!...I...Well, actually I am. I know I probably shouldn't be, but I am." I confessed, letting him see my blush. He smiled and moved closer to me, putting his hands on my shoulders. His face was serious now. 

"Lacey, when I told you that I loved you, I meant it. I don't want anyone else, I don't want to want anyone else. I am waiting for you and I'm not seeing anyone else. But I have to admit, seeing you with him is hard." he said sadly, looking down. I took his hand in mine. 

"I'm sorry that I'm doing this... It's just that...I want to try for Johnny because he deserves it. I know that this is hard. Waiting to see if I'm gonna break your heart or not. It's hard for me, too. I don't want to break your heart because you don't deserve this...and I don't want to break Johnny's either." I explained to him in a low voice. 

"I'm a big boy, Lacey. I will respect whatever decision you make. I can only hope that you'll make the right one." he said and started to walk out the door when I grabbed his hand and pulled him back to me. I wrapped my arms around him tight and he hugged me back. 

"Thanks for being so patient and understanding." I said before I leaned up and placed a light kiss on where his dimple would be if he were smiling. 

"Y'know, it's hard for me to keep my distance when you keep doing cute shit like that." he complained. 

"What do you mean?" I asked him in a confused voice. 

"Never mind." he said before kissing my forehead and leaving me alone in the bathroom. God, I love that man. I just can't bring myself to tell him that for some reason. I freshened up a bit and came out of the bathroom. I was almost to the end of the hall when someone grabbed me from behind. I wanted to scream or protest, but before I could do anything, something covered my mouth. My mind went blank and my eyes grew heavy. Darkness took over.