Don't Tell Your Mom the Babysitter Was in My Bed

Childhood living is easy to do
The things you wanted I bought them for you
Graceless lady you know who I am
You know I can't let you slide through my hands

Johnny and I were in the elevator, getting ready to take my luggage out to the taxi that was waiting for me. The elevator stopped on the first floor, making that 'ding' sound that neither one of us paid any attention to. I picked up my two bags, slowly stepping out to the marble looking floor. My hills clicked as I walked further into the lounge. I immediately noticed the other guys coming in from outside, having gone to breakfast, I assume. I hadn't eaten anything today and I proceeded to ignore the ache my stomach felt for food. I walked swiftly, with Johnny only a few steps behind me. As I met Matt, Zacky, Arin, and Brian, I didn't even look at them. I couldn't, it would break my heart. They had become my best friend these past few weeks on tour. They were all perfect in their own little ways. They all stopped when they saw Johnny and I pass by them, turning around with confused looks on their faces. Matt was the only one who knew that I was leaving today, besides Johnny. Tears filled my eyes as I fought the urge to turn around and hug them all goodbye, or at least say something to them. I couldn't do it because I knew they would easily talk me into staying. And staying just isn't an option for me. I was distracted as I felt two big thumps on the ground behind me. At first I thought that maybe Johnny had tripped and fell down, but when I turned around he was standing there with both of my backs on the ground beside of him.

Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away

"Lacey, I can't let you do this." he said, a sad expression on his face. All of the guys just stood there, staring at us, obviously confused.

"You have no choice, Johnny. I have to do this." I told him, helplessly wiping my tears away.

"No, you don't." he replied, coming closer to me. The guys still watched, but I didn't even look at them. I just couldn't. He went on with his 'speech'.

"Lacey... I know you don't love me. It's obvious, I can tell by the way you touch me, by the way you kiss me. Even by the way that you look at me."

"Johnny, don't be ridiculous! Now, come on, I'm going to miss my flight!" I argued, shaking my head. I was about to go on, but he grabbed my arm, holding me back.

"You might love me as a friend, but you don't love me the way I love you. I already know that... But I know who you do love; Matt." he said, looking over his shoulder at his friend. I glanced at Matt for a split second and then I looked down. I felt embarassed and confused at the same time. What is Johnny trying to prove?

"What is the point, Johnny?!" I asked him, confused.

"Don't you think I deserve to find someone who really loves me? Who loves me the way I love you?" he asked me, tears of his own filling up his eyes.

I watched you suffer a dull aching pain
Now you decided to show me the same
No sweeping exits or offstage lines
Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind

"Of course you do! Johnny, I n-" he cut me off, sounding more angry at me than anything.

"How could you be so selfish? How could you lead me on like that? You know...for a long time I thought that you actually loved me back... But today I realized that I just didn't see it. When you're in love with someone who loves you back, shouldn't you see the same thing you feel when you look into their eyes?" he asked me, making me cry even harder. I had been selfish.

"Johnny, I never meant to do that to you. I thought maybe I could learn to love you."

"Learn? They don't teach you how to love in school, Lacey. Love is something that is either there or not. It's not something that can be taught or learned." I shook my head at his words.

"I'm going to miss my flight." I reminded him again, wiping more tears on my sleeve.

"I think everyone deserves to love someone who loves them back. Even you two." Johnny whispered, looking away from me to Matt. I looked into his eyes when he looked at me again. I shook my head, confused. Was this him breaking up with me and giving Matt and I permission to be together- which we didn't technically need.

"What are you saying?" I had to ask. I'm pretty sure he's saying that it's over, but I have to hear the words for it to be real,

"I'm saying it's over, Lacey. You and I are done." he confirmed, letting go of my arm and turning around. He stood there for a minute and then he walked away from me, leaving me there crying.

Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away

I stood there for only a moment, wiping my tears away once again. I grabbed my two bags again, picking them up. The guys were still staring at me as if they saw a ghost.

"Can you help me carry these?" I asked, looking up at them. I wasn't asking anyone in particular, I just needed some help from any of them that would. Brian was the first one to come forward. Matt stood still, watching what was happening, with an almost scared look on his face.

"Lacey, you don't have to leave." Brian told me, stopping where Johnny had stood just a few minutes earlier.

"I have no reason to stay." I replied, looking at Matt for the first time. Matt to say one word to me was all I needed and I would stay. But just as I suspected, he remained silent as he stared back at me. I don't blame him. He gave me the once chance I had been waiting for, but I turned him down. My mistake. Brian didn't say anything else, he just sighed, picking up my bags and helping me carry them outside to the taxi.

I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie
I have my freedom but I don't have much time
Faith has been broken, tears must be cried
Let's do some living after we die

I sat at the airport all alone, still crying. My tears seemed to be endless. I thought that I was going to be late, but to my surprise I was actually early. I guess I was the only one who was leaving their whole life behind. When I'm honest with myself, I know that Matt is the love of my life. No one could compare to him, not even Johnny. I can't ever look back either. I don't even have a place to go, but I guess I will figure something out. Maybe I could stay with my Brother. I sighed as I heard them call my flight number, getting up from the hard and lonely bench. I started walking slowly towards my destination when someone grabbed my arm. Their hand was warm and it was such a change from the cold temperater and goose bumps on my arm. I turned around slowly to see who had stopped me and my eyes widened when I saw that it was Matt. I couldn't bring myself to say anything and he just stared at me. He carefully wiped the tears from my eyes.

"You're not going anywhere." he told me, pressing his lips to mine. And in that moment, I knew that he was right.

Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day

I pulled away from him, looking into his beautiful eyes. He took my hand in his, slowly, looking at me to make sure I had no objections. I didn't, and I don't think that I ever would. I love Matt and I can no longer hold it in or push him away. Now is our chance and things seemed to be timed perfectly.

"I love you." I told him as we began walking to the exit of the airport. I knew my luggage was probably on the plane right now, but I don't care. They are just clothes and Matt is more important to me than any blouse could be. I will wear the same clothes forever if that means I get to stay with Matt that long.

"I love you." he replied and in that moment I knew that everything was going to be okay. It will all be okay as long as we have each other. And everytime I looked into his eyes from that moment on, I could see everything I felt for him reflected back at me.

Wild horses couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them some day