When the Walls Come Crashing Down

“God, I’m such a bitch,” Faith said, wiping away tears.

“Faith, it’s understandable why you said what you did,” Meg said.

“But that doesn’t mean it was okay.”

“You were with Joe throughout your whole pregnancy. He was active throughout it helping you plan and prepare. So really…” Kevin said, but Faith shook her head.

“How would you feel if Dani credited the babies to someone else?”

“It’s a different situation.”

“Faith’s right,” Dani said with a shrug. “What she said was wrong.”

“Dani,” Kevin warned.

“It’s not like she doesn’t know, Kevin! She said it herself. Plus, ever since Nick found out that he’s Bryson’s father, he has been here helping. He didn’t just pass it off to Joe just because he’s not with Faith anymore.”

“Thank you, Dani,” Faith said, pulling Dani into a hug. “I needed that.” All heads turned to the front door when they heard it open. Nick slid his shoes off and headed upstairs, not saying a word to anyone.

“Hey buddy,” Nick said, his voice coming through the baby monitor. Then came a clicking noise and it was silent as he shut it off so everyone downstairs couldn’t hear.

“We should go,” Kevin said, helping Dani stand. “Just give him a few minutes, let Bryson help cool him down then try and talk to him.”

“Thanks Kevin,” Faith said, hugging both he and Dani before seeing them out.

“I’ll clean up,” Meg said. “You go talk to Nick when you think you’re ready.”

Faith took a deep breath and headed over to the stairs. She took her time going up the stairs, giving Nick more time to calm down and herself more time to figure out what to say. Once she reached the landing, she quietly made her way to Nick’s room and tried to listen outside the door. Nick was singing to Bryson, but she couldn’t quite make out what. Gently she rapped her knuckles against the door.

“Come in,” he practically whispered that Faith almost didn’t hear him. She pushed open the door gently in case Bryson had fallen asleep.

“Hey,” she said, a small smile creeping on her face when she saw Bryson turn his head toward her voice.

“Hey,” Nick said softly, not looking up at her.

“Can I sit down?” she asked, pointing to the spot next to him on the bed and he shrugged.

“It’s your house,” he muttered.

“I’m sorry I upset you,” she said as she sat, reaching her finger out to tickle Bryson’s foot, causing him to kick.

“It’s fine, Faith,” Nick said and she shook her head.

“No. It’s not. Bryson is your son, Nick. I didn’t mean to take that away from you. I don’t want to take that away from you.”

“You don’t?” he asked, finally looking up at her.

“Believe it or not, no. For what it’s worth, I really do love you. I’m just… not in love with you. And I don’t know if I was. But whatever bad came out of us being together… Bryson is the good.”

“You don’t marry someone if you’re not in love with them, Faith,” Nick pointed out and Faith sighed.

“Maybe I just thought I was more than I actually was. It’s in the past now.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” Nick said, putting Bryson in his bassinet.

“What?” Faith asked. The next thing she knew, Nick’s hand was on her waist and his lips were on hers. Her eyes widened and she shoved away at him.

“I’m sorry,” he said immediately, standing up.

“Get out,” she whispered, tears already starting to fall from her face.

“I just had to make sure,” he said as he backed out into the hallway and Faith stood and turned to him. Bryson started crying, but just for this moment, Faith ignored him.

“I want you out!” Faith said a little louder this time.

“Is everything okay?” Meg shouted up the stairs. Nick still hadn’t moved and had his hands held up in front of him, his face expressionless and it just made Faith even more mad.

“I said leave, Nicholas! Go home!” Faith shouted.

“I’m sorry,” he said one last time before heading down the stairs.

Faith could her him quickly saying something to her mother before she heard the front door open and close. She turned to Bryson and lifted him to her chest, calming him while also calming herself. She heard footsteps as Meg came up the stairs.

“What did he say to you?” Faith asked, her voice wavering.

“Something about being sorry and if I could get his things together for him and he hopes you’ll forgive him,” she said as Faith pressed her lips together in a thin line. “Honey, what happened?”

“I came up here to apologize and said something about not being as in love as I thought when we got married and then he kissed me.”

“Why would he do that?”

“He said… he said he had to make sure. Like he thought maybe part of me was still in love with him.”

“Or maybe he was seeing if part of him was still in love with you,” Meg suggested and Faith’s eyes widened.

“Oh my God. You’re right! What am I supposed to do, Mom?” she asked, resting her head on Meg’s shoulder.

“Tonight, you rest.”

“But I told Charlotte I’d let her know if Nick said or did anything strange and this takes the cake. And Joe… oh my God, Joe’s going to want to kill him!”

“You cannot tell them now, they just left. It could affect how they finish this job. That is, if they even were to stay,” Meg said and Faith bit her lip.

“So what… I lie to them for two months?” Faith asked and Meg sighed and nodded her head.

“It looks that way sweetheart. Why don’t you leave Bryson with me while I pack up Nick’s things and have yourself a bath.”

“I at least need to tell Lizzy… or Dani,” Faith said, standing up. “That will be okay, won’t it?”

“I think Lizzy will be fine to talk to… Danielle on the other hand has heightened hormones, I’m not so sure that would be the best idea,” Meg said with a slight laugh and Faith agreed.

“I’ll call Lizzy tomorrow, maybe I can keep her company while she’s on the road. Thanks, Mom,” Faith said, wrapping her arms around her mother’s torso and leaning against her.

“That’s what I’m here for, sweetheart,” Meg said, kissing her forehead. “Now, go have that bath. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Faith said, backing out of the room and heading over to hers. Once she closed the door behind her she pressed her back against it and slid down to the floor as the tears overcame her. All she wanted was to talk to Joe, but her mother was right she couldn’t do that. Not yet.

****

Faith awoke with a start when she heard Bryson crying. She could have sworn Nick had him for the night. Nick… She pressed her fingers to her lips and closed her eyes.

“Shit,” she whispered.

She took a minute to compose herself before attending to Bryson. She wanted so badly to talk to Lizzy, but it was 5 a.m. and she didn’t even know where Lizzy was on her road trip or if she even stopped for the night. She figured she’d have to wait a few days to talk to her. For now, she’d have to will time to move faster so she could go against her mother’s advice and at least talk to Dani.

****

At 8 a.m. on the dot, Faith grabbed her phone to call Dani. Her foot shook against the couch as she waited for her to pick up. Finally, just as Faith thought it was about to go to voicemail, someone picked up.

“Wha yu wan?” came the voice of a very groggy Danielle.

“I need to talk to you,” Faith said, cutting straight to the chase. Dani yawned and grumbled a bit.

“S’wong?” she asked.

“Can you come over?” Faith asked and Dani groaned. “I’m making breakfast.”

“Fifteen minutes,” Dani said automatically, not one to pass up food made by someone else

While Faith waited for Dani, she put Bryson in his carrier and set it on the counter. She plugged the waffle maker in and pulled the batter she made earlier out of the fridge. As the first waffle cooked Faith placed the bacon in the oven. Three waffles later she heard the front door open and turned to see a half asleep Danielle walking towards her.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Faith said with a smile.

“Food first, then talkie,” Dani said, graciously taking the plate Faith offered to her and plopping down at the counter. “Morning, baby.”

Bryson cooed at her and she smiled, cutting into her waffle. Faith silently made herself a plate and sat on the stool next to Danielle. She was so nervous she barely ate anything and Dani was quick to notice.

“You feeling okay?” she asked. Faith took a deep breath and turned to face Danielle.

“Something happened last night,” Faith said, taking a deep breath. Dani nodded at her to continue. “Between Nick and me.”

“What kind of something?” Dani asked calmly.

“Well… after you and Kevin left, I went up to talk to him. We somehow got into a conversation about how maybe I didn’t love him as much as I should have when we got married and everything was in the past and he said… ’Maybe it doesn’t have to be,’ and then…”

“What?” Dani asked, placing her hand on top of Faith’s. “Faith, you can tell me anything.”

“Then we kissed,” she whispered. She felt tears pricking at her eyes and she looked at Danielle who had a blank expression on her face.

“You kissed?” Dani asked and Faith nodded her head. “You and Nick?”

“Yes,” Faith said. “Well, he kissed me. And then I pushed him away.”

“Then what happened?”

“He apologized and I told him to leave,” she explained, shrugging her shoulders.

“For the night?” Dani asked.

“For good.”

“Oh Faith,” Dani said, shaking her head. “Did you tell Joe?”

“No!” Faith exclaimed, her eyes widening. “He can’t know. Not until he gets back from the tour.”

“And Charlotte?”

“I think… I think that’s up to Nick. I know I told her I’d let her know if anything weird happened, but this is… sensitive,” she said and Dani nodded in agreement.

“So… what happens now with Bryson? Is Nick still going to help take care of him while Joe and Charlotte are gone?”

“I’m not sure. I’m not really in the mood to negotiate a schedule with him anytime soon.”

“Want me to talk to him? Or Kevin since they’re… you know… brothers?”

“I don’t know, Dani… I don’t want Nick to think everyone’s mad at him.”

“Kevin won’t be mad at him. You know that. And we both know he can keep a secret,” Dani said and Faith contemplated it for a moment.

“Um… okay. Let’s call Kevin,” Faith said and Dani nodded, taking out her phone.

****

“Wow,” Kevin said, running his hand through his hair after Faith told him everything she had told Danielle less than an hour before.

“Don’t be mad at him. Please. That’s the last thing I want,” Faith pleaded.

“You mean you’re not?” he asked.

“I’m… not sure. I know I should be, but I feel sorry for him more than anything. This has got to be so hard for him; taking care of his son every day knowing that soon he’ll only see him sometimes. And after what happened earlier in the year… going six months without speaking to him…”

“I understand. Why did you decide to tell me this?” he asked, looking from her to Dani.

“We were wondering… well, Dani suggested… if you could talk to Nick and see what he’s thinking… what he’s feeling?” Faith asked and Kevin nodded.

“Anything specific you want me to find out?” he asked.

“If he wants to help with Bryson still while they’re gone or if he wants to keep his distance,” Dani said and Faith nodded.

“Alright, I’ll give him a call later. Who else knows?”

“Just my mom. And I’d like to keep it that way,” Faith said looking at both Kevin and Danielle who simultaneously nodded their understanding “Thanks guys.”

“Anytime, sis,” Kevin said, kissing her on the forehead and Dani on the lips.

“Good luck,” Dani whispered to him as he gathered his things to leave.

****

Faith was just about to get into the bathtub to soak all her worries about Nick away for the second time in two days when her phone rang. She sighed and tied her robe back up, crossing the room to get it. She smiled when she saw Lizzy’s name and picture lighting up her screen.

“Hey,” she said with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.

“Hey yourself. I thought you’d call me the second Joe and Charlotte left yesterday,” Lizzy said, sounding exhausted.

“I didn’t want to distract your driving, and after the exhaustion of you and Joe leaving in one day I basically crawled into a ball and shut down,” Faith lied.

“Understandable.”

“Where are you right now anyway?”

“Just outside of DC in Alexandria,” she said and Faith let out a low whistle.

“You’re making really good time.”

“Hell yeah I am. So what’s going on there, where’s Bryson?”

“Mom’s got him downstairs. I was about to take a nice long bath.”

“Oh sorry!” Lizzy exclaimed and Faith laughed.

“It’s all right. There are only three people I’d let delay me from a bath and one of them can’t even talk yet.”

“Well, while you’re distracted from your bath and Mom’s got Bryson where’s Nick?” Lizzy asked catching Faith off guard.

“Uh, he went to his parent’s house for dinner,” Faith lied again.

“Gotcha. Well, I won’t keep you from your bath. I should get some sleep anyway since I have the least amount of driving tomorrow so I can sleep in a bit.”

“Be careful,” Faith said and she could just imagine Lizzy rolling her eyes.

“Don’t worry, I will. Night sis.”

“Goodnight,” Faith said, ending the call and tossing her phone on the bed. It was right not telling her… the less people that know, the better, Faith thought before finally walking into the bathroom and lowering herself into the now lukewarm water of her bath.