Hand Up Your Soul To My Wrist

I looked down at my hands twiddling my fingers around.

“Are you ok?” Matt asked sounding worried.

I nodded, but didn’t look at him. I began trying to think of excuses to go to the drug store as we drove to pick up Ty. I looked up at Matt for the first time this morning.

“I uh….I think we should buy Leanna flowers,” I mumbled trying to sound calm.

“What why?” He asked turning back to look at the road.

“Because she did us a favor and I know Ty was really difficult last night,” I said trying to persuade him. He laughed lightly.

“How do you know that?’ He asked.

“Well because he is difficult every night so I just assumed,” I muttered. He nodded, but didn’t say anything.

“So can we?” I asked frustrated. Matt looked up at me confused. “Buy her flowers,”

“I guess,” he mumbled slowly turning off the main street to a side road. We sat in silence and I went back to looking down.

He pulled into a parking spot and grabbed my hand bringing my face up to his. “Are you sure your alright?” he asked again. I nodded smiling at him.

“I’m just tired from all the fun we had last night,” He laughed smiling at me.

“Well I don’t blame you for that,” He sighed cutely. I laughed leaning in to kiss him.

“I love you,” He muttered as I pull away.

“I love you too,” I said grabbing the handle and stepping out of the car. I watched him step out to.

“Hey what are you doing?” I asked knowing if he went inside he would see everything I would buy.

“Going with you,” he said as if it was obvious.

“Oh well uh I don’t want you too, I need some space,” I said slowly.

“What?” he asked looking at me weirdly.

“Well you know were together all the time we should spend some time apart,” I said.

“Why are you acting weird?” he asked me.

“Alright I….want to buy you something and I don’t want you to see it,” I said.

“You want to buy me something at the drug store?” He asked.

“Yep so stay here,” I command walking past him. “It’s not drugs,”

“Damn,” I heard him say as he hoped back into the car.

I walked into the drug store grabbing the first flowers I saw. I didn’t care what the hell they looked like, hell I didn’t even care if they were dead.

I walked over to the pregnancy test isle and sighed grabbing the first box I saw. I sighed remember back to when I found out I was pregnant with Ty.

A shiver ran down my body as I turned around to walk away. I grabbed a candy bar and paid before walking back out of the store.

I took the stuff out of the bag, quickly putting the box of tests in my pocket so Matt wouldn’t see. The last thing I needed right now was him freaking out too.

“Hey,” he said as I hoped back into the car. I smiled holding the flowers, and handing him the candy.

“You wanted to get me candy?” he asked.

“Yeah cause it’s sweet just like you,” I said sweetly. He laughed kissing me before pulling out of the lot.

The door opened up and Leanna bright shinny face answered.

“Hey,” she said sweetly.

I shoved her the flowers and stepped into her house. ‘I need to use your bathroom,” I mumbled feeling to make sure the box was still in my pocket.

I didn’t wait for her to answer I just ran.

“What’s up with her?” I heard Leanna ask.

“I don’t know she’s been acting weird all day,” Matt answered.

I heard a knock at the door and I jumped. I was waiting for the results.

“It’s me,” Leanna whispered. I sighed realizing I could use a friend.

“Only you?” I asked.

“Yeah,” She said sounding worried. I opened the door and closed it quickly. She gasped seeing the test laying on the counter she looked up at me and I nodded.

“Are you?” She asked.

“I don’t know yet,” I mumbled sliding down the wall so I was sitting. “It will be so bad if I am,”

“Why?’ She asked.

“Because me and Matt are having trouble with just Ty imagine how much trouble a new baby would bring. Our relationship will never last,” I said as I began cry. She rubbed my back.

“Were not ready for two kids,” I went on. “ Hell I don’t think we are even ready for one,”

“But maybe a baby could bring you two closer,” She suggested hugging me.

“I doubt it Matt will freak out,” I said slowly.

“Yeah but this could give him a chance to be there with you the whole time,” She said.

“Yeah but he’s not ready for two kids, especially not now, with the band, and his lifestyle in general in not very kid friendly,”

“But he loves you and you would probably have more kids someday anyway right?” She asked.

“I don’t know I mean we have been dating for a while and I love him, but I don’t think he is totally over Val yet,” I mumbled, wiping away the tears and mascara that were down my face.

I heard a ding and looked up at the timer, knowing it was the moment of truth.

“I cant look,” I whispered.

“I will,” She said standing up. She looked at it but didn’t say anything. I looked up at her slowly.

She nodded and I let out a huge sigh, before more tears found there way to my face. She came down to hug me again.

“I cant ell Matt,” I mumbled.

“You have to,” She said slowly. I shook my head.

“He’s downstairs he is going to want to know why you have been weird all day and up her crying your eyes out,” She muttered. My eyes widened realizing that was true.

“Can I live in your bathroom?’ I asked slowly not wanting to leave and face Matt. She laughed.

“No,” she said laughing. Just then I heard the door opened. My eyes widened as I looked in horror seeing Matt standing in the doorway.

“Baby what’s wrong?”