Hand Up Your Soul To My Wrist

I looked at him with my mouth wide open. He looked at me impatiently. I slowly stood up mostly to buy more time before I had to answer.

I couldn’t tell him, not now. I wasn’t even sure if I was yet.

Sure the test said positive, but I would have to go to the doctor to be sure, and I didn’t want him freaking out and getting mad right here, right now.

I looked down on the counter still seeing the test laying there. I looked back up at him nervously.

“Well,” I mumbled rubbing the back of my neck, trying to think of a lie that would make sense in the situation.

Just then I saw Ty walk into the bathroom crying. I silently thanked god for this cause it would momentarily change the subject.

He ran over into my arms, and I bent down picking him up. I hadn’t seen him since we dropped him off.

“Baby why wont you tell me what’s wrong?” Matt asked not bothering to even acknowledge Ty was in the room.

I put my hand on the counter I moved it back knocking the test off the counter. Ty was still crying so the sound couldn’t be heard. I didn’t even care if it fell in the garbage or not, just out of Matt’s sight.

“Lea can you take him?’ I asked looking at her. She nodded grabbing Ty’s hand and pulling him out the door.
As she walked by Matt I heard her whisper “Don’t do anything your going to regret” I rolled my eyes realizing we had already done something I definitely regret now.

Once they were out the door, I walked over to Matt hugging him. I just wanted his arms around me.

“Are you ever going to tell me why you are crying?” He asked kissing my neck. I sighed pulling away.

“Our family dog died,” I spit out. Sure I was lying through my teeth, we didn’t even have a dog, but what else was I supposed to do.

“But you haven’t seen your family in years,” he mumbled.

“Yeah well it was a childhood dog,” I rambled.

“How fucking old was he if you had him as a kid?” he asked. I shrugged.

“Really I guess, but I just found out he died so I was upset,” I muttered.

“I’m sorry,” he said kissing me.

“I’m sorry too,” I said slowly.

“Why?” he asked. I shrugged and he walked out the door.

“For lying to you,” I whispered under my breath before following him out the door.

A opened the car door slowly getting it. I put my hand on my forehead moving it down my face sighing deeply. I lied to Matt again.

I told him I was hanging out with Alex, when really I was going to the doctor to find out if it was true. I looked at a picture of Ty I had on the dashboard, of when he was a baby.

I would be having another little baby in 8 months, and so would Matt. Which I knew he would be less than thrilled about. I started the car just wanting to go home.

I pulled the key out of the lock opening the door. I gasped as I walked into the kitchen, seeing it was a complete mess, there was food everywhere, Ty was laughing, and Matt looked pissed as hell.

“What the fuck happened?” I asked. Matt pointed to Ty, who in turn giggled innocently. I sighed, glaring at Matt.

“Don’t blame me, our half human, half devil son did it,” He muttered. I walked over slapping him in the arm.

“He’s two what the hell do you expect?” I asked.

“I don’t know he’s just really difficult sometimes,” Matt mumbled.

“I know but he’s your son and you love him……………….right?”

“Of course,” Matt mumbled grabbing my waist and pulling me into him. “Thank god we only have one,”

“Yeah,” I said sarcastically, turning away from Matt. “Thank god”

“I’m going to go to the bar, I need to get away from this for a while,” he sighed.

“What no you cant go,” I mumbled.

“Why the fuck not/’ He asked angrily.

“Because you have to take care of your son,” I said smartly.

“No he’s your son you take care of him,” He sneered.

“He is yours too,” I said exasperated.

“Only when I want him to be,” he mumbled.

“Oh my god you’re the worst father ever,” I yelled throwing my hands up in the sir scaring Ty.

“What the fuck is your problem, I’m doing the best I can,” he mumbled. I shook my head.

“Yeah well your best isn’t good enough” I screamed.

“Why?”

“Because I’m fucking pregnant,” I yelled. Everything stop. The whole house became quite. I starred at him as tears welled up in my eyes.

‘That’s funny because when you said pregnant it sounded like you said pregnant,” He mumbled. I sighed wiping tears away.

“I did,” I whispered only load enough for him to hear. He didn’t say anything for a long time. I got scared.

“FUCK,” he screamed punching a wall. I jumped back scared out of my mind.

“Are you fucking kidding is this a joke?” he asked.

“No it’s true,” I said slowly. He started shaking, I’m not sure whether it was from anger or fear, or both.

“Get out of my house,” he demanded.

“What?”

“You heard me, here,” he said walking over to grab Ty before walking over handing him to me.

“Are you kicking me out,” I asked angrily.

“I cant……I cant do it,” He said slowly.

“ Fine I’ll go,” I mumbled. I looked up at him, not sure when I was going to see him next.

“I’m sorry,” He said looking down. I shook my head as I held Ty in my arms.

“No your not,” I said walking to the door. “Have a nice life,” I said turning around to look at him one last time. “I hope your happy with Val,” I said walking out the door slamming it shut.

I walked over to the curb sitting down, deciding where exactly I was going to go. I sighed remembering back to three years ago.

My situation hadn’t improved much. If anything it had gotten worse. I looked down at Ty kissing his forehead.

“Love you,” He squealed looking up at me. I nodded kissing his head.

“Mommy loves you too,”