Hand Up Your Soul To My Wrist

“What?” I yelled again taking a step back.

He didn’t say anything, but nodded. “What….I mean uh………..how, I mean why?” I said shakily not even sure of what I meant.

“I’ve always loved you I don’t really know why, your such a good person and smart and funny, and sweet,” he answered.

I smiled, but frowned when I began thinking of Matt.

“I don’t know what to say,” I mumbled looking down at the floor. Alex did the same and we remained quite for a while.

“I don’t think we should go out to dinner anymore, I need to think about stuff,” I mumbled, he nodded taking off towards his room.

I sighed as a few tears escaped my yes. I stood there for a few more moments, before I slowly walked back to my own room.

Once inside I ran over to the bed to lay down. I’ve always loved Alex, but as friend, he’s always been there for me, the last thing I wanted to do was break his heart, but……………………I’ve always loved Matt as much more than a friend. I sighed putting my hand on my stomach.

Why cant life just be easy?

My eyes opened the next morning starring at the ceiling. I sighed rolling over on my side, as memories from the night before flooded my mind.

I looked at the clock realizing I had to pick up Ty from the babysitters. I got up realizing I was still dressed from the night before.

It was a little fancier than normal, but I didn’t feel like changing.

I opened the door quietly hearing no sounds in the house. I slowly crept out of my room seeing that Alex’s door was still closed.

I walked over to the kitchen grabbing the keys and exiting the house, before Alex left his room. I had a feeling he was already awake though.

“Mommy,” Ty screamed running over to me. I laughed slowly bending down to give him a hug. I let go, but held on to his hand thanking his babysitter’s before slowly walking back to the car.

Since my stomach was still growing it was getting increasingly harder to pick Ty up. I helped him get in his car seat before getting in the front.

I looked back at Ty from the front mirror.

“Ty do you love Alex?” I asked not sure if he understood me.

“Alex,” He screamed happily clapping his hands together.

“I guess I can take that as a yes,” I mumbled slowly. “Do you love daddy?”

“Daddy daddy, daddy,” He yelled jumping up and down as much as possible. I sighed realizing that was a yes too.

I opened the door, seeing Ty run over to Alex. Alex smiled, but didn’t pick him up. I sighed walking into the kitchen.

“Hey,” I said sitting down at the table.

“Hi,” he mumbled, not looking at me.

“We need to talk,” I said. He nodded coming to sit down across the table. I grabbed his hand.

“You’ve always been my best friend and I do love you, but,” I started.

“But not the same way you love Matt,” He finished. I sighed.

“That wasn’t what I was going to say,” I mumbled.

“It’s ok I ……….get it,” he mumbled standing up. I looked down coming to a conclusion.

“I don’t think Ty and I should live here anymore,” I mumbled looking at the floor.

He didn’t say anything so I continued.

“I love living with you, but I don’t want things to be awkward, and I mean Ty is getting bigger and with a new baby, that’s not fair to put that on you,” I mumbled standing up.

He grabbed my hand, and I looked at him.

“I’ll miss you,” he said softly. I walked over across the table giving him a hug.
“I’ll miss you too,” I answered.

“Are you sure you’ll have somewhere to go?” Alex asked.

I nodded giving him one last hug. We had already said our goodbyes. He helped me get my stuff into my car. I got in and kissed him on the cheek. He smiled and I watched him walk back into his house.

I looked back at Ty.

“Why do we always end up homeless?” I asked him. He smiled.

Where do I go? I could go to Matt’s, but I like us being friends, I don’t want to push it, and I don’t fully trust him yet either.

I could go to Leanna, but I don’t want to impose on them.

There’s always Zacky’s, he is one of my best friends, but that’s not fair to dump all that responsibilities on them.

Then there is my parents, but I haven’t seen them in a long time, I don’t want to just go ask them for a favor.

I don’t have enough money for my own house yet, and I don’t want to stay in a hotel for a while.

I sighed starting the car, just driving. I figured I could just see where I end up. See where the road takes me.

I sighed turning off the engine looking up at the house. I grabbed Ty and we began walking up to the house. I slowly knocked on the door wondering if this was right. The door opened and I saw a familiar face. I looked away.

“Can Ty and I live here for a little while?”

And all my roads, they lead to you.