Emotions

I sigh and turned over only to be stopped midway of my turn. I look down at the interference which was the over stuffed bump staring right at me which I called my belly. I placed my hand on it over instinct and started to sit up, looking at the clock that said 4:57. I heard the soft snores coming from beside me and looked over at the man laying on his stomach with the pillow over his head, fast asleep. The last thing I wanted to do was bother him. He works so hard, all the time, every time, all day sometimes... the least I could do was let him sleep. But the movement in my stomach begged to differ.

“Kev.” I spoke up. “Kev, Kevin.” I patted his strong, bare back until he started moving. Soon, his curls started to peek out from under the pillow as he pulled out from under it enough to look at me.

“What?” He groaned and tried throwing me a dirty look but it looked more irritated than anything.

You see, I just turned 18 about three months ago and Kevin is in the middle of his early 20s. I just graduated high school and he’s a rockstar from the world famous band the Jonas Brothers. He was married 4 months ago and I’m 6 months pregnant. So you can see where the problem/problems are. The world didn’t know this yet but when it did, Kevin’s world as he knows it will never be the same. Even so, I will stand by him and be there for him when it happens. Me and our baby.

But as of late, I get the feeling that Kevin doesn’t want me or the baby around. He’s been cold and stern towards me and--me being at my most emotional period-- I have blamed it on the fact that maybe I was just a bit annoying. Pregnant women always are in some shape, form or fashion. It still doesn’t explain why he pushes me away and is this way to me all the time. Like I’m a responsibility he is forced to take care of. I’m starting to think Kevin thinks of me and the baby as a tragedy more then a blessing.

“I’m hungry.” I said softly. It was light enough in the room for me to see him roll his eyes.

“And what am I supposed to do?” He sighed tiredly. “Go downstairs and get something to eat.” He said simply and slid his head back under pillow. I sat there before sighing and started to scoot my way out the bed. Once on my feet, the baby kicked making me jump and hold my stomach which was covered with my silk nightgown that reached the middle of my thighs. I whispered for it to settle down so I could get it some food. I struggled down the stairs a little but I got down them just fine. I knew there was no good food in the kitchen that I wanted but I decided to check and hope anyway. I was unsuccessful in finding anything.

I rubbed my face and looked down at the counter. I tapped my fingers on it until I thought to go and get something to eat. I grabbed my purse off the counter and looked to see if I had any money in my wallet. 20 dollars sat perfectly waiting for me to take. I grabbed my long coat and slipped on the shoes that were by the door and walked out. I knew a 24 hour McDonald’s was just passed the park, so that’s where I headed. After arriving at said McDonald’s, I ordered myself a Big Mac combo. Half of it was gone in minutes.

“Hungry?” a voice said.

I looked up to see a mid-aged woman smiling down at me. She was dressed in jogging apparel which explained why there was someone inside the McDonald’s at 5 in the morning that wasn’t a starving pregnant individual. I nodded shyly.

“It's alright.” She said kindly, “I see you're eating for two.” She shifted her eyes from own to my stomach. I nodded again, replying with a light ‘Yeah’ and a smile. “May I?”

“Sure.” I said softly and leaned back so the woman could touch my stomach.

“Hm. I can tell it a very healthy baby.”

“Yes. I’ve been eating healthy but today was...” I trailed off.

“One of those days where a organic sandwich wouldn’t cut it, huh?” She laughed and I laughed as well. “I don’t mean to pry,” She said sitting down with her McDonald cup of coffee. “but you seem so young.” I frowned “and sad.” she added.

I bit my lip in thought on what I should say to that. Finally, I sighed and gave up. “I’m 18...” I trailed off and the tears start to build up in my eyes, “and I don’t think the father wants me or the baby.” I broke down. I started to explain how me and Kevin met at a Charity I was volunteering for every week and how he use to come down to see me. I talked about how that elevated into affair that neither of us regretted, or at least I thought we didn’t. I knew I didn’t, I wasn’t too sure about Kevin now. I didn’t even bother to cover up his famous name, Kevin Jonas, in my story like I usually did. I just pour my heart out to the stranger sitting in front of me.

Once I finished, she gave me a napkin to dry my eyes and bought me another small fry. It was silent for a moment as I picked at my fries. “I think I should go now.” I said quietly.

“How about I walk you there.” she smiled lightly. I did most of the talking, so maybe she still wanted to talk.

“Um, okay. I live just right around the park.” I stated.

“Perfect. I was just heading to the park.”

We walked through the park instead of around it. I listened to her and ate my Mcflurry that she bought me before we left as we walked slowly. It was dawn by now, so the darkness that crept along the park was slowly receding.

“I know what it's like to have a baby by a married man. So, I know what you’re feeling right now. And Kevin seems like a good man so believe me when I say, he doesn’t regret you or the baby. From what you’ve told me he’s just going through the aftermath of everything that’s going on. Facing his religious parents, going through a divorce and over all of that, being famous and having to face his problems in public.” She spoke wisely as she looked at me “It's good that he’s doing this before the baby comes. That way he doesn’t hold anything against or take it out on the baby but he will be fine soon. It's how men deal with emotions. Shut everything out.”

I nodded and licked my cold lips from the McFlurry. “It's just a phase.” She said, “It will end soon.”

“I hope so.” I said quietly and looked down sadly at the bloated belly. The woman hugged me with one arm as we got to the end of the park.

“Here is my number.” She said, giving me a card. “Call me anytime.” she said before patting my shoulder and touching my stomach one more time. I nodded and kept walking across the street to my street. I looked at the card had her name on it. Shelly Codwell, Therapist. I smiled a little and pocketed the card in my coat. By the time I finished my McFlurry, I was home. I walked up the driveway almost to the door only to hear my name called from behind me. I turned to see Kevin power walking up the driveway in an old T-shirt with a jacket, some basketball shorts, tennis shoes and a baseball cap on his head.

“Where the hell did you go?!” He said loudly, making me shrink as he slowed down on his walking.

“There was nothing to eat so I went to get something.” I said timidly. He surprised me when got up to me and pulled me by my arms into a hug.

“You scared the hell out of me.” He breathed softly into my hair. “Don’t do that.” He pulled away from me and took my face into his hands as he looked me in the eyes. “I woke up thinking you needed some help downstairs only to find you no where in the house.”

“I’m sorry.” I said placing my hands over his.

“Don’t be.” He sighed and leaned in, tenderly kissing me on the lips. “I love you.” He said sliding his hands down to my stomach. I smiled tearfully. That’s the first time he’s ever said that to me.

“I love you too.” He smiled and kissed me one last time before helping me up the porch stairs and into the house.