Memories Are Wonderful

Mornings like that became more common. James stayed over when he could but more often than not he was away. The semester was just finishing up and my work had all been handed in. I was finally free from the stress and trouble of academics.

The topic of Kate moving in came up with the end of school. The lease on her place near campus was almost up and she had a semester before she finished classes so it was agreed she would stay with me until she figured out what she wanted to do.

Andrew and Clara hadn’t cancelled the wedding. The row had caused a new perspective from both of them but they still loved each other. Andrew had even managed to get me that job at the museum.

None of the girls knew about James’s and my relationship. It wasn’t as if I was hiding it but I felt as though we needed time to mature as a couple without the scrutiny or attention of others. It wasn’t particularly difficult keeping it from them considering James was so often out of town.

But when Kate started moving her stuff in, I knew I’d have to say something. I just wanted to let her settle, James was gone away to film so I had time.

“How do you have so much shit in your apartment?” she asked on her second night, as we sat in the kitchen eating, “I don’t remember England being this bad.”

“I left most of my stuff here when I went abroad.”

“Well I’m going to need a little more room for my stuff in the living areas.”

“That’s fine. We’ll go through stuff tomorrow.”

As we ate, my mind couldn’t escape the thought that I should tell her. She didn’t have a reason to be upset with it but I wasn’t sure I was ready. After the fiasco that was my last relationship I was very self conscious about that sort of thing. But this was Kate. At the least, I could tell her.

“Since you’ll be living here there is probably something I should tell you.”

Kate popped a piece of broccoli in her mouth, a sceptical look surrounding the action.

“I’ve been seeing someone, you’ll probably see him around here.”

Her face light up with a cheeky smile. “How long has this been going on?”

“Just a little while. I didn’t really want it getting around too much because well… well, it’s James.”

She looked only mildly surprised. It didn’t inhibit her ability to continue consuming the remnants of the meal on her plate. “Why aren’t you telling people?”

“I don’t know. I’m just not sure I want to yet. We’ve had a really bumpy ride getting to where we are and I just want to make sure we have it right before bringing any attention to it.”

I pushed around the last grains of rice on my plate. The brilliant white of them was sharp against the uneven, hand painted blue of the plate.

“I’ll keep my trap shut.” There was an understanding sympathy to her words. I liked that I didn’t have to over-explain things to her.

For a while I ran around, starting my new job, helping my sister plan and Kate unpack. I barely had the time to think about James except when I went to bed and then I was left m issing the memory of him beside me. It had happened so quickly but I had become both
attached and accustomed to his presence and missed it when he was gone. We texted when we could but really, that wasn’t very often.

Kate has now fully moved in

I was laying awake in bed. Only a few days before James was supposed to be coming home. His reply came quickly, almost in an instant.

And how is that going?


I tapped my finger on the small screen where his text message showed. My mind mulled over the last few nights in search of an answer.


It’s going well, I think we’ll be fine


I shifted to my other side, too tired to sit up. Moments passed, and then

Does this mean less sleep overs?


I typed out my reply,

well I told her about us
Plus there is always your place


My eyes became dozy as I waited.

Dave has a new girlfriend so they seem to have taken over

I could barely keep my eyes open to type a response, we’ll figure something out

I nodded my head in agreement with myself. In the living room I could hear faintly the sound of the TV but it didn’t bother me. The only thing keeping me from sleep was the anticipation of James’s reply but none came and I fell asleep waiting for one. This meant I didn’t get his response until the next morning which was nice considering it only consisted of the words I love you.

***

[James]

I hated being away from her as much as I used to hate being away from home, if not more. I found it easier to travel when I didn’t have someone at home that I loved. Missing my favourite sandwich place and my own bed was nothing compared to missing Daisy. We had worked so hard to be together, a week or two wouldn’t hurt.

Only it did.

I focused on my work but any moment where my mind was completely on the task at hand was spent lonely in my hotel or with someone I was barely paying attention to. Before Daisy I would get lonely at times but mostly I thrived on having my space. But being away from Daisy wasn’t really having space, it was like missing something. We had become so attached to each other, or at least I was so attached to her that being with each other felt more like just being wholly ourselves.

I wondered how often she thought of me or how her new job was going. I’d ask her these things in text messages but sometimes at such late hours she fell asleep. Even when I told her I loved her but I got a response back in the morning assuring me of what I already knew.

1. She had fallen asleep while texting. And,
2. She loved me too

Fuck, I was lucky.