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I really did look like a princess on my wedding day. I had spent months hemming and hawing over this dress with that veil, or this tiara and those shoes. Finally I found my perfect match in clothes to go along with my perfect match in men. My mom, sister and 3 of my best friends were all busy making sure that my day went smoothly and I looked absolutely perfect. The weather couldn't have been better for a beach wedding. We had rented out a house that over looked the ocean. Our vows were to be said in the immaculately landscaped yard of the house, but it looked like we were standing on water from the viewpoint of our guests. I always loved this house when my family would vacation in Hawaii. I wish I could say that she never crossed my mind that day. But that would be a lie. As I stared at my reflection in the mirror I couldn't help but wonder if she would have looked prettier, or if he would have been more impressed had it been her wedding to him and not mine. On the outside I smiled and acted like the happy bride I should have been but on the inside, my inner demons were getting the best of my self confidence.

Once my hand slipped through my Daddy's arm, I held on tight, took a deep breath, let it out slowly and then beamed up at my dad. "Let's only do this once, Squirt" he whispered smiling down at me "I don't know if I could handle doing this more than once." I knew this was my Dad's way of giving his blessing while still letting me know that I was his little girl forever. I could hear the wedding march and watched as my wedding party vanished from my view. I looked down at my feet on the first step watching my dress glide over the runner that was my aisle. I slowly looked up at Cameron and felt like I couldn't breathe again. Not because of how perfect he looked, or because I knew this was my soul mate for life. Only because I still wondered if I was his second best. I did my best to be the picture perfect bride as we made the trip down the aisle. Going through the motions, my body screamed at me to stop and I chalked it up to wedding jitters. I felt Daddy give me a kiss on the cheek and place my hand in my husband-to-be's, my brain was on high alert, sounding warning bells and whistles begging my mouth to function enough to at least utter "STOP!" ... it never came. I stood there grinning like at idiot at the "love of my life", repeating after the officiant, taking pictures, dancing at the reception. Dreading the honeymoon.