Happiness Doesn't Come in an XL

Fights are a regular occurrence in my house. Screaming over, I run to my phone. With the calming love of Justice Aaron, my tears subside. One of these days, I'll be able to not pull her into all of my problems. One day I'll be able to solve them myself, when I leave this god forsaken place. My habits will subside, as well as my tears when I leave my family and find my own way home. They are my problems.

Being accepted, for me, is hard. My family won't do it, most people at school won't do it. No one wants to understand someone who is so different from what they've been used to. For someone to come in and change their views of how love works. No one wants to accept a gay. Not my family, not my peers. I'm not even sure if I accept myself. Confusion and homosexuality go hand in hand. I'm like a balloon ready to pop. Just one more pin prick, and I'm done. I'm so close to the edge.

Luckily for me, Justice is understanding. She prevents me from going over the edge. She saves me.

"You don't need to, Jed. You're fine, the fighting's over. You really don't need to"
Why do my tears say otherwise?

"Come on, Jed. You know you love it."
"Don't cry, Jed, bleed!"
"Hold me, Jed, you know you want to."
My demons taunt me, their words sweet talk me.
"Give in to us, Jed, you love us!"

And so, I do.

Tears, blood, tears, blood, and more tears.
"I'm so sorry, Just."