Once Again

The rest of the day passed quickly. Soon, Barbra and Joe was pulling out of the driveway with Raven in the backseat of their car. Jimmy and Cameron watched them drive down the street and turn the corner. With a sigh, Cameron walked back into the house to begin cleaning up the mess from the party. She was vaguely aware that while she was washing the dishes by hand, Jimmy was watching her.

“You know there is a dishwasher beside you,” he pointed out, reaching into a drawer and pulling out a towel. He began drying the dishes Cameron had already washed and placing them in their proper spots.

“I like doing dishes by hand. It relaxes me for some reason,” Cameron shrugged. Jimmy didn’t reply as he took the wet plate from Cameron’s hand, drying it and placing it in the cabinet.

“So, have fun?” Jimmy asked, trying to break the silence that had fallen between them.

“A blast,” Cameron smiled. “She never had a birthday like that, so I know she loved it.” They both fell silent again as they finished the dishes.

“Cameron, I want another chance,” Jimmy said as soon as he placed the plate in the cabinet.

“What?” Cameron asked, staring up at him with wide eyes.

“I said I want another chance, to see where things will lead with us.”

“It’s not as simple as it was five years ago Jimmy. We didn’t have Raven, nor were we trying for her. Besides, you don’t trust me.”

“I don’t trust you?” Jimmy asked in response, feeling as if he was slapped in the face. “Cameron, I trust you with my life, I always have, and I always will. I-I love you Cameron Summers, more than you could ever imagine.”

“Then why did you not believe me the first time around? Why would you insist that I cheated on you when you know I would never do anything like that! If you remember right Jimmy, when that girl cheated on Brian, it was with my at the time boyfriend! He cheated on me as well, and I hated the fact that he was cheating. Why would I put someone else through all of that as well?”

“You’re never going to let that go are you?” Jimmy growled, raking his hand through his hair. “Cameron, that was a stupid mistake, and I never saw the evidence until it was too late. All I saw was you laying in bed naked, the wrapper on the floor, and that was it. By the time I got home after seeing it all, you have cleaned everything up, showered, everything. The only thing you missed as a little bit of blood on the mattress, but that could have been from anything.

Accept it, it was just a huge fucking misunderstanding. I’m only fucking human Cameron. I do make mistakes.” Jimmy turned on his heel and went to storm out of the room, but he stopped at the doorway, looking back to the shell shocked Cameron in the middle of the kitchen. “When you’re ready to accept that, I’ll be downstairs in my studio.” Cameron listened as he opened the basement door and slammed it shut. She knew it was true. That he never meant to hurt her like that, it didn’t change the fact that he did in fact hurt her though.

She couldn’t deny the attraction was still there though. Every time she looked at it, it’s as if nothing had ever happened, like the break up never happened. That it’s only been a few months that Jimmy’s been in his daughter’s life rather than the five years it’s really been.

With a groan, Cameron rushed out of the kitchen and down the basement stairs into the studio. She slowly walked to where she knew Jimmy’s drums were, and found him sitting behind the set, his head in his hands and his shoulders shaking from the sobs leaving his body.

Sighing, Cameron slowly walked up to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and letting her chin rest on his head.

“I’m sorry,” Cameron whispered. “For everything, I’m sorry. I was hurt by that prick, I was hurt by you, but mainly I was hurt by myself. I was the one who let things get as bad as they did between us. I’m the one who ran away from her problems rather than trying face them head on. In the process, I hurt the people who matter the most. I hurt my friends, my daughter, and the love of my life.” Jimmy’s head slowly turned to face her. Cameron took the pad of her thumb and wiped at the tear trail on Jimmy’s cheek. ‘I do love you Jimmy, I just have to learn to trust myself again before anything can happen again.”

“I can accept that,” Jimmy nodded. Cameron glanced to her right, toward Jimmy’s drums, and an evil smirk crossed her face. She remembered Jimmy hated other people touching his set unless it was Matt Berry. Cameron picked up a stick and before Jimmy could stop her, she let the stick crash on a cymbal.

“You’re gonna get it!” Jimmy shouted to Cameron as she ran from the room laughing. Cameron looked back and saw Jimmy running toward her with his hands over her head, much like the way he did it from when he was a teenager, which caused Cameron to laugh even harder.

“You’re weird!” She shouted back to him.

“You’re jealous!” Jimmy shouted in reply, catching up to her with no problems at all. He wrapped his arms around her as he pulled her down to the ground with him. Jimmy leaned his weight on his hand as he stared down at Cameron, staring into her soft eyes.

“Promise me something,” Jimmy whispered suddenly. “No matter what happens between us, never leave like that again. You have no idea how crazy I was after you left. I left interviews early, messed up drum beats. I was in a shell because you weren’t in my life anymore. I never want to experience that again. Promise you’ll never leave like that again, please.”

“I can’t promise that right now Jimmy,” Cameron sighed. “But I can promise I’ll never let you go without seeing Raven like that again. She needs you Jimmy, a lot more than I thought she did.”

“I need her,” Jimmy admitted, letting his head hang to where Cameron couldn’t see his face. “I need her to keep myself going. Without her, I pretty much had nothing to live for.”

“It’ll be alright Jimmy, you’ll see.” Cameron smiled.

“I hope so, I really do.”

Jimmy walked out of the clinic, knowing that his discomfort wasn’t for nothing. In a couple weeks they should be getting a phone call stating if the combining of their armies resulted in war, or in harmony. They were hoping for harmony, but that was what any person would want.

“Two weeks,” Cameron sighed, grabbing Jimmy’s hand as they walked toward his car. “Jimmy, what if this doesn’t work? What if we have the baby but it doesn’t help anything?”

“Then we’ll raise both our kids like normal, and we’ll keep fighting for Raven. Even if we have to take her to a different state, we’ll keep fighting to make her better.”

The drive to Jimmy’s parents house was silent. Neither of them knew what to say to each other.

“Jimmy,” Cameron muttered before Jimmy could get out of the car to go get Raven. “Thank you for everything.”

“How many times have you told me that with me saying you don’t have to thank me?”

“No, I do have to.”

“You want to thank me Cameron, give me another chance. That’s all I want is another chance with you.”

“I can’t commit to anything.”

“A date then, one date. If things don’t work out, then I’ll leave you alone about it.”

“I can do that.” Cameron nodded. “One date, if things are too awkward then we’ll stay friends.”

“That works for me.” Jimmy smiled. He got out of the car and walked up to his parents front door.

“Daddy!” Raven shouted after he walked into the house.

“Ready to go home baby?” Jimmy asked, picking her up. Raven nodded her head and turned back to her grandparents. “Bye!”

“We’ll see you later honey,” Barbra smiled. “Call me later as well,” she added to her son.

“Will do Mom,” Jimmy smiled, kissing her on the cheek before nodding toward his father. “Oh, have Mommy help you get in, Daddy has to talk to Grandma and Grandpa for a minute.” Raven nodded again and jumped from Jimmy’s arms, running toward the car. “Can you guys keep her one night soon? Cameron and I are trying to work things out.”

“Absolutely,” Joe replied automatically. “Just let us know when and we’ll make sure we have the night free.”

“Thanks Dad.” Jimmy said, hugging him now that he wasn’t holding Raven. “I better get going, I’ll call you tonight,” he said, looking pointedly at his mother. “and let you know what’s going on.” He finished for his father.

“Be safe” Barbra said, hugging her son once more before allowing him to leave. Both parents watched their son drive away before Barbra heaved a sigh and walked back into the house.

“Everything will be fine honey,” Joe said, wrapping his arms around his wife.

“He’s going through so much, but he keeps such a bright outlook on things. How can he do that Joe?”

“He’s Jimmy, that’s all I can say about it.” Joe shrugged. “When has that boy ever shown sorrow over anything?”

“You’re right, he always was a happy baby, now he’s an optimistic man. I just wish I knew what he was truly feeling.”

“If he wanted us to know, he would have told us.” Joe sighed, rubbing his hand up and down Barbra’s arm. Barbra knew Joe was right as usual, but the mother instinct inside of her told her something was going to happen, and it would happen soon.

/

Jimmy was throwing a load of Raven’s clothes in the washer later that night. He picked up the shirt she wore at his parents house just this morning, and saw a small spot of red on the front.

Confused, Jimmy pulled out his cell phone and dialed his parents’ house phone.

“Hi honey,” Barbra said as a greeting.

“Hey Mom, did Raven eat something red? There’s a red stain on her shit.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot to mention it. She had a slight nosebleed today. It wasn’t anything extremely bad, but she did have one.”

“Oh, okay I was just wondering. I didn’t notice it earlier so I wanted to see if it happened there or here.”

“Yes, sorry I forgot to mention it.”

“It’s fine mom. Oh and I asked Cameron, we decided to go out next Saturday, so do you think you can keep Raven then?”

“Of course,” Barbra smiled. “Get some rest honey, I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

“Love you Mom, bye,” Jimmy said before hanging up his phone. He looked back down at the small dot, not even the side of a ball point pen. He felt his throat clog before he felt the burning in the back of his eyes.

Blinking rapidly, he went to toss the shirt in the dryer, but it somehow could never leave his hands. He stared at the dot, feeling himself becoming weak in his knees as he slid down the wall to the floor.

Cameron, who was putting Raven to bed, walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, which was connected to the laundry room. She heard sniffling coming from inside the room, and peeked her head in to see Jimmy with his face buried in his knees, Raven’s shirt in his hands.

“Jimmy?” Cameron spoke softly, hoping to not startle him. He glanced up with tear filled eyes and quickly reached to brush them away. Cameron grabbed his hand before he could though and smiled gently at him.

“It helps,” she said, sitting next to him as she grabbed the shirt.

“How the hell did you do it?” Jimmy asked, sniffling as he grabbed Cameron’s hand. “You had to stay strong and positive for her the entire time I wasn’t around. Working, raising her, and trying to make her better. That’s way too much for one person Cam, how did you do it?”

“I don’t know,” Cameron replied honestly. “I guess it was because I always but Raven before myself. She’s what’s most important in this world.”

“I really wish I could have been there Cam. Why did you wait so long?”

“I was a afraid,” she whispered, not looking up at him. Jimmy grabbed her chin with his thumb and finger and lifted her head to where she was looking at him.

“There was no reason for you to be afraid.” he said. “If something wasn’t working out, all you had to do was tell me, you know that.”

“I know,” Cameron sighed, looking back down at the shirt. “She will get better, won’t she?”

“I have to believe she will,” Jimmy whispered. “I don’t want to lose her so soon after finding her.” He looked back up at Cameron, a fresh batch of tears in his blue eyes. “I don’t want to lose you after finding you again. I refuse to lose you again.”

“I know, it was hell being without you for so long.” Cameron admitted, leaning into his side. “I won’t leave again, I promise.”