Once Again

“Hey, how’s things going?” Cameron asked Gena as she sat on a couch in the control room. Jimmy was in the recording box, laying down drum tracks for one of their newer songs.

“Great,” Gena replied, watching Zack and Brian talk to each other and glance over toward the two women. “Cammy, let’s go outside, I want to talk to you about something,” Gena said suddenly. Cameron glanced toward the box, realizing Jimmy wouldn’t be done with his recording for a while. She nodded and stood up, following the blonde outside the studio.

“You have a lot of fucking nerve showing up here right now,” Gena snapped as the door shut.

“What are you talking about?” Cameron asked.

“We know you slept with a guy from the bar last week. You’re feeling guilty about it, I can see it in your eyes. How the hell can you do that to Jimmy? After everything the two of you have been through.”

“I didn’t sleep with anyone,” Cameron snapped.

“Bullshit!,” Gena shouted. “Jimmy walked into your apartment and found you passed out, naked, in the bed. He found the wrappers of the condoms as well! Don’t fucking lie to me Cameron, I know you did it. What I want to know is why, and how could you?”

“I never cheated on him Gena! I’m not denying something sexual happened last week, but it, I didn’t cheat!”

“Prove it!” Gena snapped. “You just fucking confessed to me!”

“You know what, I don’t have to prove anything to you. Tell Jimmy I’ll see him later, I’m out of here.” Cameron turned away from the blonde and stormed away from the studio, only to be forced back around by the tall, blue eyed man.

“Going somewhere?” Jimmy asked her, wrapping his arms around her.

“Home, I’m not going to come over here just to be interrogated by Barbie over there,” Cameron replied, trying to pull herself from his arms.

“What happened last week Cam?”

“I-I can’t tell you,” Cammy whispered, tears filling her eyes.

“Why not? Afraid I’ll leave you if you admit you cheated on me?”

“I didn’t cheat!” Cammy insisted, her tears pouring over her eyes now.

“What the hell do you call it then?” Jimmy snapped, his eyes suddenly blazing. “I found you naked in the bed Cameron, or do I need to remind you about that?”

“I’m not denying something happened, but I didn’t cheat on you Jimmy, I swear I didn’t.”

“Why don’t I believe you?” he asked softly. “I’m sorry but, I can’t trust you anymore.”

“I told you it wouldn’t work out, so don’t blame me for your heart getting broken James.” Cammy said. “Goodbye,” she stormed down the street, back to her car, saying a quiet goodbye to her best friend forever.



Cameron sighed as she looked out the window. It was one of those days where she couldn’t stop thinking about her life. How she got to where she was today. It was five years ago that the assault happened. The assault the caused her relationship with her friends to end.

She couldn’t not think about that day. The day she argued with Jimmy, forced herself to cut herself from his life for as long as possible.

It broke her heart when Jimmy said he couldn’t trust her. When he said he couldn’t keep going in the relationship. She left, acting as though it didn’t bother her, when really, she was heartbroken beyond belief. She just wanted things to go back. She wanted to forget what happened that night after the club, but she couldn’t.

Cameron turned from the window, drying her hands with a towel and picked up her cell phone. She dialed the number, and hesitated before pressing the send button. She listened as the phone rang and went to voicemail.

“Hey, you know who this is, but I might not know you. Leave name, number, address if you want, and I’ll get back to you.” Val’s voice said in her normal sweet and crazy way. Cameron hesitated again before finally just hanging up. There was no way she could talk to any of them, not even Valary DiBenedetto, who was one of the sweetest women in the world.

She was alone, besides for one, very special little girl in the living room. Cameron leaned against the doorframe between the two rooms, watching the four year old watch the show playing on the TV. Raven, her beautiful four year old daughter, was her pride and joy.

“Jimmy, you’re missing so much,” Cameron sighed to herself, walking the rest of the way into the room so she could talk to the little girl.

“Momma, looky!” Raven said, pointing to the screen. Cammy looked at the screen, and her heart raced when she saw the five men on the stage.

“Can’t you help me as I’m starting to burn, too many doses and I’m starting to get an attraction,” the male with the microphone in his hands was singing. Cam smiled as she watched the men, glad to see they were getting so big. Out of nowhere, a close up of the drummer appeared on the screen. The little girl sitting on the couch looked just like him, and for a good reason. The man on the television was her father, James Sullivan. She found out two months after leaving that she was pregnant.

Naturally, Cameron was terrified because she was alone, and she didn’t know if Jimmy or the man from the club was the father. The day the baby was born, she realized with a huge sigh of relief that her daughter looked just like Jimmy. Sure Cameron would have loved for Raven to have more features from her mother, but most of her features came from Jimmy, proving to her that Jimmy was the father.

“Come on toots, it’s time for bed,” Cammy said when the song finished. She was about to flip the TV off when the guys came back on.

“So, you’re all a bunch of young guys, single, taken? What you stories?” a reporter asked them.

“Uhm, everyone but me is taken,” Jimmy replied. “I haven’t been with anyone in five years to be honest.”

“Five years? Long time,” the person commented.

“He was head over heels for that one, and she disappeared off the fucking face of the earth.”

“We had a misunderstanding which, thanks to Matt’s girlfriend Valary, I now know what I thought happened, didn’t really happen. And I’m leaving it at that.” Jimmy said. Cameron shook her head sadly and flipped the TV off, placing the remote onto the table and turning to look at Raven.

“Hey, how about we go out to the farm this weekend?” she suggested to the four year old. Raven’s eyes lit up with excitement.

“Really?” she asked.

“Why not, we haven’t been there in a while, so we’ll go up there and hang out a couple of days.”

“Yay!” Raven exclaimed.

“Okay, time for bed,” Cammy smiled, following Raven into the little girl’s bedroom.

“Mommy?” Raven asked as Cameron tucked the blanket around her daughter. “Where’s my Daddy? Does he like going to a farm?”

“I don’t know about the farm, but honey, we talked about this. Daddy didn’t want to be part of our family.”

“Why?” Raven asked, big tears threatening to fall down the girl’s cheek. Cameron sighed as she stared into her daughter’s bright blue eyes. Eyes she had inherited from her father.

“I don’t know baby,” she finally replied. “Time to sleep, we have a big day tomorrow.” Cameron kissed her daughter’s head and stood up, shutting the light off and shutting the door.

“I love you mommy,” Raven whispered.

“I love you too baby,” Cameron sighed. She walked down the stairs to turn off lights so she could get ready for bed herself. Glancing at the TV, however, she stopped and turned it back on, surprised that the guys was actually still on it. Jimmy was staring at the ground as Brian was talking about a song he chose to play, and Cammy could have sworn she saw a tear leak from his eyes.

He looked up as the camera went off, and quickly stood up and walked backstage.

“Jimmy, you’re not still going on about Cameron are you?” Matt asked, finding his best friend leaning against a wall, his hands covering his face.

“I can’t help it Matt. I was the one who talked her into giving us a shot, and I turned her away when she fucking needed me the fucking most.”

“Dude, you couldn’t have known it happened, she didn’t tell you.” Matt reminded him.

“I don’t give a fuck! She was my girlfriend and she got fucking raped Matt. I accused her of cheating on me. The fucking evidence was right there in my eyes, but I let my fucking insecurities get the best of me.”

“Jimmy,” Matt started, but someone signaled they needed to go back to the set.

“You go, I can’t right now,” Jimmy muttered, turning around sharply to head back to their dressing room. He felt like the biggest asshole right now, and the biggest asshole didn’t deserve any type of happiness.
He flipped on the screen to see that the guys were back on, none of them looking too happy.

“Hey we’re back, sorry but uh, Rev won’t be joining us for the rest of the evening.”

“He went on a coffee break of all things,” Brian spoke up. The guys chuckled humorlessly before announcing the last video. When the video started, Jimmy knew they would come in, and that they would be pissed off at him, but at this point he didn’t care. He’d deserve the beating he would most likely receive.

“What the fuck Jimmy?” Brian snapped the minute he walked into the dressing room. “You know what, I don’t want to know.” Brian held up his hands and turned away, but a sudden burst of energy went through him and before anyone could stop him, Brian balled his hand into a fist and slammed it into Jimmy’s face.

“BRIAN!” Matt roared, rushing up to Jimmy.

“No, I fucking deserved it.” Jimmy muttered, rubbing the side of his face. He glared at Brian before standing up and grabbing his bag. Without a word, he started heading toward the door.

“What’s really bothering you Jim?” Zack asked, stepping in front of the door to block Jimmy from leaving.

“Cameron,” Matt whispered to them.

“Jimmy, that was five years ago, you need to let it go.” Johnny said, walking up to Jimmy.

“You try breaking a girl’s heart after she had just been raped midget.” Jimmy glared at Johnny.

“You didn’t know at the time, hell we wouldn’t have known now if it wasn’t for Val overhearing it in the bar.”

“I don’t care when it was, or how I found out. The point is, I was fucking there, I saw the evidence, the-the fucking blood. It wasn’t a lot like they show in movies, but it was still there. I should have fucking realized she wouldn’t cheat like that, hell it took me almost a year to get her to sleep with me!” Suddenly Jimmy dropped his bag and collapsed on the floor beside it. “I basically let the guy get away with violating someone, least of all it being my girlfriend. That guy being on the loose, I can’t stop thinking about how Cam’s probably wondering around in fear of him, or how he might end up finding his way to my sisters.”

“Jimmy, Katie and Kelly know how to handle themselves, as does Cameron. Cameron was probably drugged that night.” Zack pointed out, kneeling beside the distraught man.

“Yeah, you can’t keep blaming yourself Jimmy. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Matt muttered.

“I broke a promise,” Jimmy muttered. “Best friends forever, I broke that promise to her.”