Once Again

Cameron grabbed the belt from the shed and, silently, she and Jimmy drove back to the bus together.

“Matt,” Jimmy whispered after he stepped on the bus. He whispered because he saw that Raven had fallen asleep on the bus, and he didn’t want to wake her.

“What’s up?” Matt asked, following Jimmy into the bunking area.

“The little girl, Raven, is my daughter Matt.”

“What?” Matt replied with a sharp whisper.

“Cameron gave birth to her nine months after I broke up with her.”

“She could have told you she was pregnant,” Matt muttered.

“She didn’t know if the baby was mine or the asshole who assaulted her, so she never told me. When Raven was born, Cameron just knew that the baby was mine.”

“She’s a lot like you dude, I told that to Brian not too long ago. I guess now we know why.”

“Dude, I have a child, a daughter, a little girl who probably doesn’t even know who I am.” Jimmy murmured.

“Wait, so did Cammy take care of Raven herself?” Matt asked.

“All five years it was just Cameron and Raven.” Jimmy nodded. “I have no idea how she did it either.”

“So, what’s going to happen now?” Matt asked, leaning against a wall of bunks.

“I don’t know, but one thing is certain, I have a daughter now. I’ll be damned if I lose her like I lost her mother.”

“That’s only if Cameron allows it though. Face it Jim, since you weren’t in her life for the past five years, you basically have no rights over Raven.”

“I’m not losing her Matt, she’s my daughter.” Jimmy stated, his clipped tone telling Matt he wasn’t changing his mind anytime soon.

“You know I’ll support you with this.” Matt informed him. Jimmy nodded, and peeked into the front of the bus, where his daughter was still sleeping. She looked so peaceful, so content. As if she had the best life out of everyone when Jimmy somehow knew that wasn’t the case at all.

“Cameron’s right though, the girl is the spitting image of me when I was her age.” Jimmy muttered.

“She even has your blue eyes dude.” Matt said, his arms crossing over his chest. “There’s no doubt about it, she is your kid.”

“I wouldn’t lie about something like that,” Cameron’s voice startled them. They looked up, realizing she was standing on the stairs of the bus, her hands covered in grease. She had a smudge across her forehead as well.

“Give the bus a try,” she said. Matt walked to the wheel and turned the key, surprised that the bus started right up.

“No charge,” she smiled to them. “Consider it a favor that doesn’t need to be repaid.”

“Thanks,” Matt said. “I guess it’s time for us to take off then.” He glanced up at Jimmy, trying to tell him that now would be the time to talk to her about Raven while he went to round up the others.

Cameron started following Matt out of the bus, but Jimmy stopped her. He didn’t call for her or anything. Hell he didn’t even move. What stopped her was the way he was staring at Raven, sleeping peacefully.

“I really would have told you sooner, but I had no way to,” Cameron whispered to him.

“I know she’s in the world, now I know I have a daughter.” Jimmy said after a minute. With what looked like great difficulty to Cameron, Jimmy looked up from the little girl to look at Cameron. “I don’t want to be the type of father who knows he has a child in the world and not do anything about it. I want to be in her life. I want back in your life Cameron. I missed you so damn much.”

“I know,” Cameron muttered. “I saw the interview you did on the television last night.”

“I want to know my daughter Cammy. I want to know her and watch her grow up. Be there for her when she starts dating and when she starts driving. I want to see her through school, and succeed better than I did.”

“Jimmy, it’s not that simple,” Cameron muttered. “There’s something about her you need to know, she’s sick.”

“Then why did you bring her out here?” Jimmy demanded.

“It’s not a cold or anything, and her doctors told me the fresh air is good for her. I’m saying she’s sick, severely sick. They don’t know what it’s called, or how to treat it.” Cammy’s eyes filled with tears as she thought of the day the pediatrician told her about the illness. “You’re lucky you even got to meet her at all Jimmy. It started when she was two, a-and they said she probably won’t last past five years old. She’ll be five in two months James.”

“She looks so healthy though,” Jimmy muttered, looking down at her.

“It’s a disease in her blood,” she whispered. “Her blood count levels are really low, and get lower each visit. Soon, there’s not going to be anything. Her heart will be pumping air basically, and without the blood, she could go into cardiac arrest.”

“She could have a fucking heart attack at five years old?” Jimmy asked, his head snapping toward Cameron. Cameron nodded, staring at her daughter.

“Is there anything they think they can do about it?”

“O-one thing,” Cameron replied. “I’m not asking you to do it either, I’ll keep taking her to the doctors until they find something else if I have to.”

“What is it?”

“Core blood transplant.”

“What the hell is that?” Cameron sighed and sat on the stairs, her grimy hands leaving more smudges on her face was she wiped at her tears.

“It’s where they take blood from the umbilical cord of her, her sibling. The problem is, she doesn’t have any siblings, so to go that route, you and I would have to have another baby. Again, I’m not asking you to do it. I’ll find another way to save her.”

“I will do it though,” Jimmy said automatically. “If it saves my daughter and gives me another one in the process, hell yeah I’ll do it.”

“Jimmy, there’s probably another way.”

“You just stood there and told me they have no idea how to treat her Cameron, and the only option left is the Core blood transplant. And I just told you, I don’t want to lose her, so if this is the best shot we have of saving our daughter, then let’s do it.”

“You guys ready to head out?” Matt asked, walking back onto the bus. He stopped when he felt the tension, and was alarmed to see Jimmy and Cameron both crying. “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.” he said.

“It’s fine, I was just about the grab Raven and go.” Cameron replied. She hesitated before looking at Jimmy. “Give me a pen and paper and I’ll give you my number.” Jimmy quickly grab the paper tablet he used to write lyrics with and handed it to her along with a pen. She scribbled her number down and handed it back to him.

“Cam wait,” he said, jotting something on the paper. “Here’s my number,” he said, glancing toward Raven, who Matt was picking up gingerly so he wouldn’t wake her. “Just in case of anything.” Cameron nodded and put the slip in her back pocket. She quickly got behind the wheel of her car as she watched Brian, Johnny and Zack go onto the bus. She waved at Johnny, smiling when he ran head first into the bus door. She looked up at a window and saw Jimmy watching her. She waved at him, her smile faltering slightly.

Jimmy watched as Cameron’s car pulled down the driveway she drove down earlier.

Without a word to anyone, Jimmy grabbed his pad of paper and walked into the very back room, locking the door so he knew he would be left alone.

Brian watched him walk back, knowing he had just been crying.

“What the hell’s going on with Jimmy Matt?” he asked the other man. Matt sighed and looked toward the back room.

“Cameron’s daughter Raven, Jimmy’s her father.”

“Shit,” Johnny muttered.

“I don’t know what happened while they were talking though, but I’m going to go check on him,” Matt stood up and walked into the back of the bus, trying to open the door but realizing the door was locked.

“Jimmy, I know you probably want left alone, but talk to me.” Matt called through the door. When Jimmy didn’t open the door, Matt sighed and reached up, grabbing the key to unlock the door.

“Talk to me buddy,” Matt said, sitting next to his best friend who still had tears in his eyes.

“She’s dying,” Jimmy finally managed to choke out.

“Who?”

“Raven, she has this rare blood disease, and the doctors told Cam she might not make it past five years old. She’ll be five in two months bro.”

“Isn’t there anything that can be done?” Matt asked.

“Core blood transplant, which is where they take blood from the umbilical cord of Raven’s sibling and put it through an IV into Raven. Raven doesn’t have any siblings.”

“So, that’s pointless,” Matt muttered.

“Not, not unless I can convince Cameron to go through with us having another baby.”

“Dude, you want to have a baby, to save another kid’s life?”

“To save my daughter’s life,” Jimmy snapped. “And if we go through with it, that baby won’t just be to save his or her sister. That baby will be treated like any other kid in this world, even if the transfusion doesn’t do anything for Raven.”

“I was just asking man, it’s a big decision to purposefully have a baby. Hell what am I saying, a baby is a big decision planned or not.”

“I know, but we don’t have any other choices.” Jimmy sighed. “We wait, she could die while waiting to get better. I’m not risking her life. I’m going to convince Cameron to go through with this, and within a year, I’ll hopefully be a father of two perfectly healthy kids.”

“Don’t get your hopes up too high Jimmy, just take things one step at a time and see where things lead.” Jimmy’s phone rang suddenly, startling him and Matt. He pulled the phone out and glanced at the caller ID, but didn’t recognize the number.

“Hello?” he answered, confused.

“Jimmy, thank goodness,” Cameron’s voice came from the other end. Jimmy immediately went on alert at her tone.

“Cammy, what’s wrong?” he asked, glancing at Matt.

“Have you left yet?”

“No, we’re still getting everyone rounded up.” he replied. “What’s going on Cameron, is it Raven?”

“She’s not waking up Jimmy,” Cameron whispered. Jimmy didn’t say a word as he hung up the phone and raced to the front of the bus, storming outside and up the driveway that lead toward the house.

“Jimmy!” Brian’s voice shouted, but Jimmy ignored him. Instead, he picked up speed.

“Jimmy, get in the bus, we’ll drive up there!” Matt called.

“What’s going on?”

“Raven,” Jimmy muttered, looking back toward the bus.

“You’ll get the faster by taking the bus,” Matt pointed out. Jimmy nodded and ran back inside. Matt quickly sat in the driver’s seat and threw it into gear.

“What’s going on?” Zack asked, coming from the bunks.

“Raven’s my daughter, she’s sick, she’s not waking up,” Jimmy muttered, confusing Brian and Zacky even more. The house came into view, and before Matt could completely stop, Jimmy was rushing out of the bus and toward the house.

“Cameron!” he shouted. He heard her sobbing from a room beside him, and found her in the living room, Raven on the couch still asleep.

“She’s not waking up Jimmy,” Cameron sobbed. Jimmy strolled past Cameron and knelt down beside the couch. He checked for a pulse, relief flooding through him when he realized her heart was still beating. He felt her forehead, shocked beyond words by how hot she felt.

“She’s fucking burning up with fever Cammy,” he said.

“She was fine this morning,” Cameron mumbled. “And the only place we’ve been was here. Unless,” her voice trailed off as she looked up at the guys, who Jimmy didn‘t even know followed him inside. “Do any of you smoke?”

“We all fucking do, you know that. We didn’t smoke around her though, we know better than that.” Brian replied.

“You told them?” Cammy asked.

“Just Matt,” Jimmy admitted. “Zack, Johnny, Brian, Raven is my daughter. She’s sick though with a very rare blood dis…” Jimmy voice trailed as he looked over at Cammy. “How long has it been since she’s seen a doctor?”

“A couple months,” Cammy admitted. “She’s been doing so well, I didn’t see the point.”

“Damn it, that’s what’s wrong with her,” he growled. “We have to get her to a hospital,” he said. Cameron just stood up and bent to pick Raven up, but Jimmy beat her to it. Raven whimpered, cuddling herself into Jimmy’s arms.

“It’s okay sweetie, I got you,” he whispered to her. Cameron sighed with relief as Raven’s eyes opened.

“Mommy, my tummy feel funny,” Raven said.

“We’re taking you to the doctor baby, we’ll get you better in no time.” Cameron replied to her.

“We’ll just take the bus, there’s a couch she can lay on plus a bathroom if she needs one.” Matt said. Jimmy nodded and carried his daughter out of the house, Cameron right on his heels. The drive to the hospital took forever. When Matt finally pulled up, Jimmy and Cameron automatically took Raven inside. A nurse looked up and immediately went into action by paging a doctor.

“What do we have here?”

“This is Raven Sullivan,” Cameron said. Jimmy was concentrating so much on his daughter, he barely realized that Cameron had given the little girl his surname. “She’s four years old and has Juvenile Myelomonocytic Leukemia. She was fine this morning then all at once, she took a nap and wouldn’t wake up. She’s got a fever and just,” Cameron’s voice trailed as the doctor came out with a stretcher. Jimmy laid his little girl on the bed, and watched as they wheeled her away.

“You said she had a blood disease,” he said, turning to face Cameron. “Leukemia is a form of cancer Cameron.”

“It’s not like regular Leukemia Jimmy. She can get better..”

“With the blood transplant. You have to realize this now Cam, we have no choice. If we want to save our daughter, we need to go through with having another baby.”