Once Again

“I can’t think about that right now,” Cameron muttered, staring at the ground.

“Cammy, open up your damn eyes and look around! We’re in the hospital because our daughter is sick!” Jimmy snapped.

“You don’t think I don’t know that?” Cameron snapped. “I’ve dealt with this for the past two damn years James. Where the hell were you at? Touring the world, beating on your drums and screwing every woman who shows interest in you? I’ve raised her and done pretty damn well on my own with her for the past five years, I’m sure I can last through this, without your help even.”

“I wasn’t fucking around to help before because I didn’t know she existed!” Jimmy snapped back at her. “I want to be in her life Cameron. I want her to have a life so I can be a part of it! If I would have known I had a daughter in the world, I would have been here.”

“Guys, this isn’t the time or place to be doing this,” Johnny spoke up. “There’s a little girl waiting for both of her parents,” he emphasized the word “parents,” mainly directing it toward Cameron. “whether she knows it or not. She’s waiting on someone because she’s probably scared to death right now, or because she’s not feeling good and needs her mother or father there to comfort her. Just put this shit aside for right now.”

“He’s right,” Cameron muttered. “I’m sorry Jimmy, let’s go get our little girl.” A strange tingle filled Cameron as she said “our little girl.” She wasn’t used to it in the slightest. A nurse showed them to a private waiting room, where everyone just sat around in silence. Jimmy was pacing, going from the window to the door. He would sit down on the couch, his leg bouncing a few times, then he growled and stood back up, looking out the window.

“Jimmy, calm down,” Matt said finally as Jimmy stood up again.

“Easy for you to say,” Jimmy muttered, throwing a glare at him before turning back to the window. Before anyone could say anything else, the door opened, revealing the doctor who took Raven back.

“Where’s Raven’s parents?” he asked. Jimmy glanced down at Cameron, who immediately started tearing up.

“Come on,” he said, grabbing her hand and helping her walk down the hallway. They were led to a small office with a name plate that read “Dr. Hickens.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan,” he started.

“We’re not married,” Cameron said quickly.

“I just found out about Raven this morning,” Jimmy admitted.

“So you have no idea of her medical background?” Dr. Hickens asked.

“I know she has this Leukemia type thing, but that’s about it.”

“Juvenile Myelomonocytic Leukemia,” the doctor confirmed. “It’s mainly hereditary, meaning the both of you carry the cells, and it was passed on to your daughter.”

“No,” Jimmy muttered, raking his hand through his hair.

“Mr. Sullivan,”

“Jimmy, please,” he said.

“Jimmy,” the doctor corrected himself. “I’ve been on your daughter’s case since it started, and we’ve gone through blood fusions, chemotherapy and even radiation.” Jimmy, who’s head had collapsed to stare at the floor, snapped his attention to the doctor again.

“Chemo and Radiation? On a fucking toddler?”

“It was something we had to do I’m afraid.” Dr. Hickens sighed. “There is one thing we have not tried, and that is stem blood from a sibling.”

“But, you just said we gave this illness to her, what makes you think we won’t give it to another one?”

“I really wouldn’t recommend this, but seeing how Raven is getting worse, I really don’t see another option. I can recommend a fertility clinic that will examine the specimens you provide to make sure they’re healthy, and that the stem cells are a match for Raven. I’ll leave it up to the two of you, but please, make a decision soon.” The man stood up and left the office, leaving Cameron and Jimmy alone.

“Chemotherapy, how old was she when that happened?” Jimmy asked.

“Three,” Cameron whispered. “We really don’t have a choice do we?” She asked.

“Not unless we want to watch Raven die, which I don’t know about you, I’ve only known she was alive for what, four hours? I love that little girl with everything I have. I feel like her father Cameron. If that makes any sense.”

“From you, it does,” Cameron smiled, though it didn’t last too long. “I’ll talk to Hickens about the clinic then.”

“It’ll be okay Cammy, I’m not letting you go through anything alone.”

“How, you’re on tour remember.”

“Not right now I’m not. I’ll find someone to replace me for now. I’m not leaving, not with all this going on.”

“You can’t just drop the tour Jimmy,” Cameron muttered.

“Yes I can,” Jimmy insisted. “Cameron look at me.” She lifted her eyes to stare into his bright blue ones. “Nothing is more important to me right now. I’m staying here, and I’m helping you with everything.”

Cameron sighed, realizing she really wasn’t getting away from him anytime soon.

“I can’t believe this is really happening,” she groaned, rubbing her face with her hands. Jimmy reached out and grabbed her hands, forcing her to look up at him.

“We’ll get through this Cameron, all of us, even Raven.”

“I hope so Jimmy, I really hope so.”



Matt looked up as Jimmy and Cameron walked back into the waiting room.

“She’s getting worse,” Jimmy muttered to them, sitting next to Matt. “We have no choice, we have to go through with the baby.”

“So, I take it the tour is off.”

“No, I’m off the tour, but the tour isn’t off. I’ll find someone to replace me until it ends.”

“Jimmy, we’re not leaving either. If you don’t go back on the tour, then we’re not going back.”

“You guys can’t do that, what about the fans?”

“Tell them what’s going on and I’m sure they’ll understand.” Zacky replied. “Just, let it go Jimmy. We’re staying home if you are.”

“I have to, they’ll need me for donations,” Jimmy shivered. Cameron couldn’t help but smile at his discomfort, though she knew it would probably be worse for her.

“I’m going to go find Hickens and let him know,” she told everyone. They watched her leave, and turned back to Jimmy.

“So, is she going to let Raven know the truth about you?” Matt asked.

“I have no idea,” Jimmy replied. “Dude, Raven’s bad though. I was just told more of her past. She went through Chemotherapy and Radiation. Three years old and having chemicals pumped through her body.”

“Damn,” Johnny muttered.

“Hopefully this transplant will work.” Zack said.

“Hopefully Raven stays alive long enough for it to happen.” Jimmy muttered.

“If she’s as much like you as Cammy claims she is, then she’s a fighter.” Brian said. Jimmy nodded, knowing he was right.

“Take things one day at a time. Do what you have to, and just take things in stride.”

“Jimmy,” Cameron’s voice said. “They said we should start right away, so the clinic made an appointment in an hour, but they want us there now to go over some things.” Jimmy nodded and stood up, but stopped suddenly.

“We only have the bus,” he reminded her. “We’re not far from my house, the guys can drop us off there, we’ll grab my car, and we’ll go to the clinic.” Cameron, realizing she had no other choice, nodded and followed the guys back to the bus. She sat as far from them as she could without seeming to be a total bitch about things either. Jimmy glanced back at her before standing up and walking back to her.

“I don’t blame you,” Jimmy whispered to her.

“For what?”

“Leaving, never talking to me again. Never telling me you were pregnant. I don’t blame you one bit.” Cameron looked over at him, apprehension in her eyes. “I was an asshole toward the end.”

“You were acting like you, based on how I was treating you. It’s understandable.”

“It’s an excuse, I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did.” Jimmy replied, shaking his head darkly.

“I’m sorry I kept her from you for so long, especially…”

“Cam, she’s going to live, even if I have to give up my own life for it, she’s going to live.”

“I’m scared about this though Jimmy, what if they can’t help us? We’ll be getting our hopes up for nothing.”

“We just have to have faith and believe that things will turn out alright,” Jimmy muttered, reaching his hand out to grab her smaller one. Cameron sighed and leaned her head against Jimmy’s chest, hearing the faint thud of his heartbeat.

“Jimmy,” she whispered.

“Hm?” he replied.

“I’m glad you know, about Raven I mean. I hate to admit this, but I basically lied to her. I-I didn’t want to have to explain anything, so..”

“You told her I didn’t want anything to do with you and her.” Jimmy finished for her.

“Not exactly like that, but pretty much.” she nodded.

“Cammy, it’s over and done with. From now on though, she’ll know who her father is.”

“She kinda does know you, but not that you’re her father.”

“How does she know me then?”

“Her favorite drummer.” Cameron looked at him with a small smile on her face. “Along with mine.”