Maybe Just Once More

I woke up with a splitting headache. I slowly opened my eyes, trying not to provoke the headache more, and realized it wasn’t The Blackout’s bus. I shot up and hit the top of the bunk face first.

“Shit!” I swore, causing someone in their bunk to jump up and check if I was alright.

“Jess?” The familiar voice spoke as they hovered above me. As they spoke, I felt awful.

I slowly opened my eyes again, and came face to face with the one man who ruined my life. Matthew Tuck. He held his hand out towards me in concern, but I put my hand up to stop him.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve got to go.” I told him, as I searched for my top and shorts.

“Jess.” Matt said, as he held them out to me in his other hand.

“Oh right. Thanks.” I said, quietly and awkwardly. “We didn’t do anything last night?”

“No, you wanted to but I persuaded you not to.” He replied and I nodded, feeling like a total idiot. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been good.” I told him, as I pulled my top over my head. “Have you seen my bag anywhere?”

“It’s up front on the sofa.” He replied, and we walked up the bus.

“How are the guys?” I asked, genuinely interested for once.

“They’re good.” He replied.

Never in my life had I engaged in such an awkward and strange conversation.

“Cool. Well I need to get back, so I’ll see you around.” I told him, while putting my shoes on and slinging my bag over my shoulder.

I got to the bottom step, at the door of the bus, before Matt decided to stop me once more.

“Jess!” He spoke quickly, “Chelle lied. It wasn’t my kid.”

I nodded, but carried on walking. Once I heard the door shut behind me, I breathed a sigh of relief. How the hell did I end up there in the first place? I mean, even if I was totally trollied, I thought id have more sense to go anywhere near Matt.

My head hurt, I needed a coffee, I needed to get changed and I needed to see Zach. I quickly jogged to The Blackout bus and typed the code into the pad beside the door. I waited for it to click and open, before I climbed up the steps and heard Sean begin to talk.

“Jess! Where the hell did you go?! I was worried sick! What happened? You look like shit”

“Thanks Sean.” I replied, searching in the kitchen for painkillers. Once I had taken them, I sat down on the sofa and Sean joined me.

“Look love, I just want to know that you’re alright. Sorry about that, a minute ago.” He said quietly and I nodded. I couldn’t be bothered to tell him what happened at that moment in time, so once I felt the painkillers kick in, I got up and went to find Zach.

“Hey baby.” I whispered, as he slowly woke up. He held his arms out for a hug, and I climbed in beside him.

“I missed you mummy.” He admitted, and I felt really guilty.

“I missed you too baby .I’m sorry. It wont happen again.” I promised him and he smiled in acceptance.

“I’m tired.” He said and I smiled.

“Then go to sleep silly.” I told him and he shook his head.

“I don’t want you to leave again.” He spoke quietly and I felt my heart melt.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here.” I assured him.

And so with that I fell asleep beside Zach in our little bunk, and for a few hours, I didn’t have anything to worry about.