Maybe Just Once More

I turned round, to see Jay standing behind me. Reluctantly I agreed and told Zach I'd be back soon. Jay motioned for me to follow him,and so i did, out of the food tent and to the makeshift smoking area.

"So...How've you been?" I asked awkwardly, after about five minutes of silence.

I watched as Jay inhaled deeply from his cigarette, and exhaled slowly.

"Look Jess, we miss you. So much.Padge misses you loads. And moose. And the girls. Did Matt tell you about the baby not being his?" He asked and I nodded, keeping a blank face
.
"Did he tell you what happened when he found out?" He asked again, but this time I shook my head.

"As soon as he found out, he was fuming.Not only with her, but with himself too. He put up a strong face,but once he got home he lost it completely. He first destroyed everything he had. The t.v went out the window, plates smashed against the walls. The boys and I went round to check on him, but he refused to let us in.He was a mess,Jess. He kept shouting something about life not being worth living anymore." He paused to make sure I was still listening.I nodded as if to say carry on.

"He stood in the kitchen,shouting that if we came in,he would harm himself.Lydia came with us, and she rang the police and ambulance while we tried to convince Matt to put the sharp knife down.Eventually the police broke in and took him out of the house, but Matt had already stabbed himself in the stomach. When we went to visit him in hospital he said that he couldn't live without you.He said he needed you in his life." He finished, and inhaled another lung full of the smoke.

I stood there,taking everything in. What was I meant to say back to that?
Luckily my phone began to ring.It was Sean.

"Mummy?" Zach asked down the phone.

"Yes love?" I asked.

"Can you come back now? Uncle Sean took me with him to the stage,but Uncle Gavin is waiting for you." He said.

"Oh okay.I'm on my way now,baby."

I hung up and Jay looked up at me.

"Jay, I've got to go," I told him and began to walk away, when he grabbed my arm.

"Just think about Matt,yeah?" He said, and let go.

I walked back to the food tent and sure enough, Gav was waiting for me.

"We need to run." He said quickly and i nodded.

We ran past everyone so Gav could make it to the stage on time. We made it just in time, and Gavin ran onto the stage with Sean.I picked Zach up into my arms and hugged him as he sang along to 'It's High Tide Baby'.

I smiled at hearing Zach's little voice, and sang along quietly myself.

I began to think about Matt, and what would happen if we had a chance to get back together.I mean, I loved the man, but I don't think I could trust him.Besides, I wouldn't want to involve Zach in a messy relationship...

All i knew, was that I had a lot to think about...