Maybe Just Once More

Monday morning came around much faster than I would have liked.

“Morning miss!” One of the kids said, as he ran to the toys on the other side of the room.

“Morning Luke.” I smiled and shook my head.

Once it hit 9am I decided to take the register, and class began as normal. I was dreading ‘home-time’.

Matt came to pick up Emily, and as usual, she and Zach were the only children left, as he was late.

“Sorreh I’m late.” He apologised and I nodded.

“It’s alright.” I said, and an awkward silence ensued. “Zach, why don’t you and Emily go and play with the toys for a little while?” I suggested and they ran off together.

“I’m sorry Matt.” I told him and he nodded.

“Why’d yeh leave, Jess?” He asked, hurt and confused.

“I had to Matt. I’m sorry.” I told him, as tears threatened to spill from my eyes.

“Yeh didn’t ‘ave to! Yeh could ‘ave stayed. Sorted whateva it was out! Yeh should ‘ave stayed!” He stressed, quietly.

“Matt, I didn’t have a choice!” I told him desperately.

“What do you mean, ‘you didn’t have a choice’?!”

“Matt! Zach is Oli’s! I had to leave!” I shouted and Matt looked shocked.

“Are you serious?” He asked quieter than before, and I nodded.

“Shit…you need to tell him!” He said.

“No! Matt this is better for everyone if he doesn’t know. Oli isn’t the type to be a dad. You lot couldn’t tour as much. Zach is happier not having a dad at all, than having one that is away for most of the year.”

“What? Yeh mental. Olleh ‘as grown up loads since yeh left. He looks after Ems all the time for meh. And we tour loads, even though I’ve got Emily and Bronách. They come out at weekends to see us. Zach needs a dad Jess. And you need to tell Oli. Don’t you think he deserves that much?”

“I don’t know Matt!” I admitted, “I really don’t know anymore. Everyone hates me now, so it’s be easier if I just stay away.”

“No-one hates yeh Jess. We’re all ‘urt, confused and a bit shocked, but no-one hates yeh.”

“Yea, Oli seemed to have a very strong dislike of me then, if you don’t want to call it hate.”

“He doesn’t Jess. He’s just ‘urt.”

And then he did something I wasn’t expecting. He stepped towards me, and wrapped his arms around me.

“I miss yeh Jess.” He muttered.

I hugged back; happy with the fact that Matt and I were on speaking terms at least.

“Give meh yeh number and we can go out for lunch sometime, yeah?” He asked and I nodded eagerly.

“Emily!” Matt called and the two children came running over.

“I’ll see yeh later, Jess.” Matt smiled and I waved.

“Come on Zach, let’s go home.”